Sunday, October 01, 2006

The Hampton Court 10k run!

Yes people, today was the day of my second 10k run - the Hampton Court 10k run!

To be honest, things didn't start well; just as I was leaving the house I realised I'd pinned my number on the back of my turquoise monstrosity Tesco-promoting T-shirt, so I had to swap it over. Then it began pissing it down with rain. Then I got stuck in traffic (on a Sunday morning!) on the way to Hampton Court because by the looks of things about four million people had entered.

Anyway, using my cunning knowledge of Hampton's backstreets, I managed to get there eventually. The car park - if you can call it that, as it was essentially a field - was by this time super-muddy. Fortunately the rain had stopped. I got out of my car and it started raining again; forget the 10k, I was number one favourite to win Hampton Court's first wet T-shirt competition (Henry VIII would disapprove, I'm sure). Wet, and muddy, I traversed the deer-poo gauntlet, and bumped into Scanner Dave from work who was also taking part. Eventually we managed to find Sweatband, how was doing hardcore runner things like shouting "C'MON!!!!" at random people and questioning whether there would be distance markers. Collectively we decided not to take part in the mass pilates class that the organisers were putting on in an attempt to get us to warm up; being wet and muddy already we did not feel the need to look like twats as well.

Eventually, the run started, and to be honest I enjoyed it a fair bit more than the last 10k I did, although there were a few TOO many people, which combined with the mud and the rain was a bit off-putting at the beginning. Things improved as the pack spread out a bit, however.

Some points that spring to mind:

• There was some wench who kept running alongside me, then stepping in front of me so that I had to do an emergency jump to the left (having an innate knowledge of the dance moves to the Time Warp definitely helped here). I was very close to pushing her into the mud at one point, and I think I would've been entirely justified. Anyway, how would she have identified me? "He was wearing a turquoise T-shirt?" Ha! Me and everyone else, SUCKER!!!!

• At several points throughout the run there were big signs saying 'WARNING! HAZARD AHEAD!' Gosh, I thought, I wonder what it can be? I mentally prepared for everything from a crocodile pit to those weird stompy metal things they have in the Star Wars movies, and was thus a tad disappointed to find that it was actually either a bit of uneven ground or a change in terrain.

• After my earlier pondering over whether to do the run in fancy dress, I was surprised to see that there was actually only one fancy-dresser. And he, like I had thought about doing, was dressed as Superman. He was doing very well, to be honest, although with the wind and rain he was nevertheless having some cape-related issues.

• There were no deer in evidence... I expect the grounskeepers rounded them up somewhere safe and warm. Or shot them all.

So that was that, basically. I did it a tiny little bit slower than the last 10k I did, which I'm putting down to the weather, but on the plus side I got another medal. On the downside, it's nowhere near as good as my last one; in fact, when they gave it to me all wrapped up in a little plastic sachet I wondered why they were handing out congratulatory condoms. Anyway, here's what it looks like:

Yes, it's a 10 pence piece on a ribbon.

So that's that. I'm off to de-wax my ear again (which is another excuse for going to lie down on the bed, although there will be a wax update - a wax-date if you will - soon... That's something to look foward to, huh?).

Oh, and finally - massive thanks to everyone who sponsored me. All the money you very kindly donated is going to Cancer Research, a cause which is very close to my heart.

Whoa - that was serious! Um... I DID IT FOR YOU GUYS - WOO-WOO!!!!


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ha ha! FIRST! I'm getting good at this.

Congratulations on winning that impressive bit of... umm... medal. Yes.

I'm sorely disappointed that they're no pics of the wet T-shirt entry :)

Somewhat spookily, I've just given the answer to a question posed to me as The Time Warp. Not 5 minutes before reading you post. Isn't it amazing how often Time Warps pop up? (Not counting the Dr Who comment at mine)

Dinah said...

Yes, I do was hoping for wet T-shirt pics. But maybe those have all been spoken for.

Congrats on the medal!

Tim said...

Whoa! In out of nowhere at number one is Inexplicable Device!!

Thanks, that medal is quite something, eh? As for the Time Warp... so you did the time warp aaaaagain?

Ha ha ha! Hmmm...

And for you and Dinah - sorry. I did actually have an official photographer lined up, but he didn't turn up. I can only suspect that the treacherous weather conditions put him off... Suffice to say, there was much swoonage, it was kind of a Mr D'Arcy-type scenario.

Dinah said...

DON'T EVER say Mr. Darcy to someone living in a girls residence. It's like our Kryptonite.

Tim said...

Ha ha ha!!!

Mr Darcy.

Mr Darcy.



Inexplicable DeVice said...

* swoon *

Tim said...

Good grief - it's an all-round swoon-fest today!!

Miss T said...

Mmmmm. Brooding Mr Darcy. Actually, don't mention him to anybody full stop.

This 64% lady is off to swoon over some lady grey now.

Oh, and good on you for doing the run!

Dinah said...

I have an unstoppable urge to...pop popcorn and make tea and watch a 6 hour miniseries and then moan about why Colin Firth doesn't love me.
I warned you.

Tim said...



Dora and Tina said...

Congrats on doing the run, Tina and I supported it because it is a cause that is also very near to our hearts.

Also well done on getting a medal. C'mon, it's not like everyone got one....did they????
....and just for those who can't control themselves....

"In vain have I struggled. It will never do. My feelings will not be repressed.
You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

Oh Mr. are a brooding little thing aren't you?!!

Tim said...

Dora and Tina - thank you! Did everyone get a medal? Um, maybe... but, y'know, I'm sure mine was extra special because... Um. Er... Because I'm Mr Darcy-like. Yes, that's it...!

Dora and Tina said...

Just say "a select few" got medals.

Also, I forgot to give you snaps for that forty licks T-Shirt you were wearing. Because there is no cross through it, does that mean you are endorsing acts of random licking?

Tim said...

Yeah, I'll do that! I, erm, came like, um, second... That's why mine is silver...

I got snaps!!! Hooray! WTF are snaps anyway? Whatever - the t-shirt is cool, huh? It's 'distressed' which is another word for 'riddled with holes.' Which means most people use that for an excuse to stick their fingers in it.

And I do actively encourage random acts of licking!!!!


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Licking through the holes in your shirt?

* evil, smutty cackle *

Tim said...

Only if they've got very small lizard tongues! The holes aren't that big!!

Miss T said...

Will it ever stop! Random acts of licking and hole-y shirts. I have the vapours again!

Oh, and I think we got snaps originally from Legally Blonde (chick flick alert - but I feel it has universal appeal because A) Elle Woods is a fag hag and B) Elle Woods is really Reese Witherspoon). Snaps are like props, or kudos, but from pretty girls.

Tim said...

Aaaah, I've not seen Legally Blonde!!! I feel so left out...

But hey! I got snaps, so "what-evah!"

Dinah said...

Snaps for Elle's lateral delts!

Tim said...

Is that a Legally Blonde in-joke? I feel so left out... I'm going to have to watch it, aren't I?