I took today off work because I'd arranged to have a telly aerial put up on my house. Silly me, didn't realise that the house didn't have an aerial when I bought it. Anyway, I've been toddling along on cable TV quite happily for the past 10 months, but I've decided I really need to make an effort and get those fiddly little bits that I keep meaning to get done, done.
So, telly aerial: Done. I can now look at teletext on my huuuuuge screen. Awesome. Aaaand, I can get a PVR recorder in anticipation of all my favourite shows starting up again soon, and also giving me the ability to go out and not worry about missing One Tree Hill on a Sunday evening.
Quite helpfully, the guy who did the installation accidently drilled a hole in the wrong place in my bedroom. And that's actually not a bad thing, because it made me go out and buy some polyfiller, which then gave me the excuse to fill the holes in the bathroom wall that former-owner left when she took down all the odd little shelves that she'd put up ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE. I swear, I reckon I basically reconstructed one wall with polyfiller after I first got the house.
Anyway, I like filling holes, I do.
So with the bathroom holes filled that pretty much means that I should by all rights decorate the bathroom soon. To be honest, it's not going to be a big job (did I just say 'big job'?), just a lick of paint. It's kind of funny, really, because it's a year on the 21st since I got the house, and a year on the 22nd since I began the mammoth redecoration process, so maybe October is official Sparky decorating month?
Hmmm... either way, I quite like the symmetry.
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After telly man had vamoosed, I decided to ring the district nurse about my ears. Funny, though, seems I'm not on the waiting list like the receptionist at the doctors told me I would be... And the earliest appointment I can get is... DECEMBER.
I am NOT. HAPPY.
So, with my sternest expression applied, I walked down to the doctors to 'discuss' with the receptionist why she hadn't... well, done her job, to be honest.
I stood at the reception window, and she peered at me over her glasses like a stern old school ma'am.
"I just called the district nurse only to find that you've not put me on the waiting list like you told me you would."
"Well, I told you that you would have to see the doctor fir-"
"Which I did. If you RECALL I saw the doctor at 17:30 [I always use militeristic terms when I'm angry, or being super precise for that matter] last monday. He told me that I should call the district nurse, and YOU said you'd do it for me. Apparently you did not."
"Oh..."
"And now it looks like I'll have to wait until December for my ears to be syringed."
"Oh... in that case I must apologise. It seems I had a rush of blood to ... somewhere else."
I was going to make a snide comment about how she should reserve her sordid James Stewart-based daydreams for her own time, but I thought my point had been sufficiently made. I sneered, and walked out.
While I believe I have won this moral victory, of greater concern is the fact that I genuinely can't hear my alarm clock in the morning.
*GULP*
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I finally got round to experimenting with the handheld milk-frothing thingy that I bought from Ikea the other week. It is AWESOME.
It cost only 99p, yet is amazingly effective! It frothed milk for my coffee superbly. I reckon I could hang it out the back of a row boat to create a rudimentary outboard motor.
And cleaning it was great too. I Just dipped it in the washing up bowl, activated its warp drive, and let it clean itself.
This also had the unforeseen effect of reviving the bubbles in the bowl for the remaining washing up - RESULT!
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8 comments:
That doctor story is amazing. WTF, people. THIS MAN CAN'T HEAR! God, that makes me angry, and I'm not even the one getting fucked over by it.
"Anyway, I like filling holes, I do."
Dirty!
And that, Dinah, is why our NHS is in such a state, despite all our politicians telling us that waiting lists are shorter, and the service has never been better.
And I mean this about the ear syringing, not the fact that I like filling holes.
Seriously WTF!!!! December? I mean, how hard is it rwally to stick a novelty sized needle into your ear and suck the wax out? I'm thinking it can't be that hard...can it?
You like filling holes.
Ummmm....I was going to go somewhere with that, but I think it's best if I just leave that alone.
December... I know! I think I've passed anger and gone direct to quiet realisation now. And I really do mean quiet, because I can't hear a damned thing!
Ah. The good old (read: ancient & decrepit) NHS...
What's all this perversion to do with hole filling? Me, being as pure and innocent as the driven snow, knows not of that which you speak.
Isn't the NHS just great? I'm glad I don't have a flesh-eating disease!
"Flesh-eating disease? Yes, we'll put you on the waiting list. November 2008 OK?"
"I will have disappeared by then."
As for the hole-filling - I mean polyfillering!!! There's something quite satisfying about it... getting the hole filled perfectly with a nice smooth finish.
I might just drill some more just for the hell of it!
The tv aerial man could've drilled your ears if you asked him.
I don't think his massive drill would've been strong enough... Think back to the scene in Armageddon where they keep breaking drill bits on the asteroid's surface.
It would've been just like that. And quite frankly, I don't think even Bruce Willis emotionally sacrificing his life to detonate a nuke on my head would help either.
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