Monday, October 30, 2006

Britland's road signs

Following on from my previous post and the road sign quiz within, I thought I should go a bit more indepth on Britland's roadsigns for those readers of international origin, or anyone about to take their driving test.

So here we go:


WARNING! Drunk drivers.


WARNING! Quaint, stupid picket fences ahead.


No Evel Knievel-style bike stunts.


No Evel Knievel-style stunts in buses.


No entry to Ford-branded motor cars.


My humps, my humps, my lovely lady bumps - no Black-Eyed Peas songs or sexual antics for the next half mile.


Put your left leg out: hockey-cokey zone ahead.


WARNING! Levitating buses landing ahead.

There - I think that qualifies you all to drive safely on Britlands roads!

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Now, look here: in other motoring-related news, here's that awesome Chrysler advert from the seventies with Ricardo 'KHAAAAAN' Montalban extoling the virtue of the new, compact (!?) Chrysler Cordoba.

And if you're not saying 'soft, corinthian leather' for the rest of the day there's something wrong with you.

11 comments:

skillz said...

that post reads just like one of those posters that students have on their walls.

ever thought aboutr working for athena?

*thinks about tennis player scratching her bum poster*

Tim said...

Mate, no one needs a poster of me scratching my arse on their wall!

Or do they...?

(scurries off to add to list of possible Sparky Malarkey merchandise)

Dinah said...

England seems like so much fun! I'll be ready to drive there in no time.

Tim said...

England is hilari- no, wait. It's not, really.

But these days you've just got to make your own fun!

Ryan said...

England sounds like it would be such a riot to drive around drunk! Good times. :p

Tim said...

Ryan, you don't know the half of it! There are SOOOOO many bizarre road signs around these days - no one's got a freakin' clue what they mean!

Good times indeed!!

Dora and Tina said...

No bke stunts indeed - get stuffed! It is the right of people to do dangerous bike stunts that might also include buses on occasion.

Here's what I remember about my 6 months living in England - no seat belts in the back seats of the car and highways that are full of drunk people. Or people who at drive like they are drunk even though they might not be. But most likely are.

Miss T said...

My two cents: The EVIL KNIEVAL BUS!! THE LEVITATING BUS!! It is the only time that ROFLMAO has ever been in any way appropriate.

A Sparkey scratching his bottom celebratory mug. Could go down well at the novelty shoppe. You could branch out into mousepads and badminton accessories...

Dinah said...

Are levitating buses a hassle? or do you just get used to it?

Smart move, with the merchandise.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

"Sorfft Corintheean leatherrr" Mmmmmmmmmmm... I want that in Car - I'll be able to relax into its comfort while waiting to do the hokey-cokey.

Tim said...

Dora - Whoa! It's all changed over here now! You have to have seatbelts in the back and compulsory booster cushions for everyone under a certain height (I'm guessing less than 6 foot).

And drunk driving is *SO* 1990s; it's all about the drug driving now, so the kids on the street tell me.

Miss T - I had to Google ROFLMAO - the kids on the street didn't tell me THAT one. I've only just gotten used to LOL!

And yes, I shall continue exploring merchandising avenues!

Dinah - you kinda get used to them. Don't worry, one day every country will be as advanced as Britland.

Inexplicable Device - I know my own needs, and what I want from an automobile, I get from a ... Cordoba...

I'd buy anything Ricardo Montalban was selling.