Thursday, July 13, 2006


(Sparky does a dramatic punch to the air)


Tomorrow, people, I finally get to see Superman Returns. I'm *SO* looking forward to this film, so chances are I'll wander out of it a little disappointed and something within me will have died. No, wait, it will be great. It will live up to my expectations.

It will be super.

Now, I do have one dilemma, though. Y'see, a while back, I might've suggested that I was going to stand outside the Odeon Leicester Square with some red pants on over my trousers. Sorry friends, but that ain't going to happen; I forgot to buy some red pants.

But I do have a Superman t-shirt - a blue one with the 'S' (or should that be \S/?) logo on the front. The thing is, I think that going to see a Superman movie while wearing a Superman t-shirt might just be, erm, y'know … a tad too nerdy (and this coming from someone who's spent the last seven years editing Star Trek magazines).

The nerd part of my brain is saying "Do it! Do it! Everyone will be looking at you thinking you're the coolest person in the world," while the sane, socially-adept part of my brain is shouting "Do it and I'll bitch-slap you."

I think the sane part will win out in the end. Though I might wear my pirate eyepatch.


I was walking back to my car after work and I noticed a bored-looking man of rather large girth being pushed along in a wheelchair. I was unbelievably close to saying "want that one" like Andy from Little Britain, but fortunately I was able to hold it in.

I know, I know, I'm going to hell for that one. I'm actually giving myself 1000 lashes as penance as we speak. Er, type. And by '1000 lashes' I actually mean 'eating some orangey digestive biscuits.' But, with my hand on my heart (yes, I have one), I promise to you that I will feel every single calorie of those orangey digestive biscuits when I go for a run with Sweatband on Saturday.


Driving home I saw a bloke walking a really thin greyhound dog. The damn thing was almost two-dimensional! And this got me thinking - how cool would 2-D pets be?! Think how easily you could store them! You could file them away in a magazine rack. Or use them as a novelty bookmark.


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Don't. Wear. The. T-shirt.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I've changed my mind. Wear it underneath another shirt, then, when you've got your ticket, crow with success and rip the shirt open to reveal your Superman T-shirt before running off towards the screens.

Don't run near any Kryptonite, though.

Tim said...

Yeah, see - you're experiencing the same cool/not cool thing that's currently causing me a headache!

I like the idea of tearing open my shirt to reveal the supes one underneath; the only downside I can see is that it would be super cool to do that then fly off towards the horizon, and not super cool to do that then calmly take my seat among a crowd of people who've just witnessed a majorly twatish act in the lobby.

I think I'll be wearing something reasonably generic...!