Never let it be said that here at Sparky Malarkey we (I) don't do our (my) best to give you (yes, you) exactly what you want.
That being the case, we've (I've) undertaken some extensive research into what makes a blog interesting, popular, and relevent to the general 'everyday' blog-reader. Our (my) extensive research, which was carried out under laboratory conditions, revealed three recurring themes that appear in the world of blogging:
1) How to be a "mommy" (to X-number of "awesome" kids).
2) How to bake amazing cakes and biscuits.
3) How to knit.
Not being one to want to let any of our (my) readers down, Sparky Malarkey shall endeavour to expand into the aforementioned areas of expertise.
1) Unfortunately, Sparky Malarkey is ill-equipped to guide others in the realms of 'how to be a mommy (to X-number of "awesome" kids)' due to the fact that we (I) are (am), er, equipped with the, er, wrong equipment to experience the amazing delights of motherhood. But, y'know, everyone seems to wing it OK, so I'm sure they'll be fine. And awesome. And if they're not - well, that's what juvenile courts and young offenders establishments are for.
Moving swiftly on…
2) Now, we (I) can't cook for toffee (nope, can't even cook toffee), so you're pretty much on your own here as well. Microwave? Yeah, I can do that; we're (I'm) a bit of a dab hand at nuking food. And don't worry if it's still a bit frozen in the middle, it'll be fine. Really. But if you really do want to learn how to cook, why not just cheat: claim that you made these boob-shaped biscuits yourself.
3) Knitting? Hmmm… this is were it's all at people. As soon as we (I) can track down the pattern, we're all going to make a start knitting woolen apparel for our awesome offspring. Trust us (me), all the kids are wearing them.