Friday, March 31, 2006

Cooking with Sparky Malarkey!

Single? Just fled the family nest? On the run from the Police? Are you having trouble maintaining a healthy, balanced diet? Don’t fear – Sparky Malarkey is here to help you with easy to fix, delicious and nutritious meals!

This week:

Baguette de fromage de puce

(That’s cheesy-chip baguette to you and me)


• A baguette
• Some cheese
• Chips

Scatter a handful of chips on a baking tray (make note to follow the cooking guidelines on the packet if you’re using oven chips. If you’re cooking your own… well, you’re on your own there matey).

While the chips are gently simmering away, make a cut in the baguette (careful with that knife!). Don’t cut clean through the baguette, just enough to make a nice pocket inside it. Then, grate the cheese onto a little dish (although if you’ve not yet equipped your kitchen with a grater, or are a bit of a simpleton, thin slices will suffice).

When your chips are nicely golden brown, take them out of the oven (no nibbling, naughty!). Being careful not to burn yourself, tuck the chips inside the baguette.

Next, scatter the cheese over the top of the opening, so that it covers the chips.

Now pop your cheese, chip, and baguette monstrosity onto the baking tray, and slap it back in the oven, watching carefully to ensure it doesn’t burn!

When the cheese has melted sufficiently, whip it out of the oven, slide it onto a plate, and serve.

Enjoy that bad boy!

Sparky Malarkey notes:

• For the more health conscious reader, try using McCain oven chips – they’re only 5% fat and contain NO cholesterol!

• Having guests round for dinner? Why not just use a whole French stick!

Burp! Pardon!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

No touts were harmed in the making of this blog*

I've just been reminded to add that there was a wonderous event outside the Shepherds Bush Empire last night:

A tout fight.

Yes, two touts fighting.

This is great on so many levels, not least because:

a) They finally stopped asking me if I wanted to buy a ticket (because I always queue for events I haven't bought tickets for).

b) It's very entertaining.

My money was on the dude in the massive hat.

*better luck next time.

Sparky Malarkey at Nada Surf!

Imbued with far more coffee than is probably recommended for typical human beings, the Sparky Malarkey crew (Mutya, B*stad, and Simon, who was quickly rechristened ‘Jamal’ for reasons that will never become clear) descended on the Shepherds Bush Empire for an evening with Nada Surf. Would it be ‘Surf’s up’ or ‘Nada good way to spend an evening?’

Now, Mutya and I have a bit of a tradition when it comes to passing the time before a gig starts; we look for celebrity looky-likeys in the audience. And by gum, the Empire was full of em’! Among the looky-likeys we saw were:

• Phil Collins
• Boris Johnson/Biff from the Back to the Future trilogy
• Sean Connery
• David Baddiel
• Helena Bonham Carter/Pete Doherty

Our fun was brought to an abrupt end by the first support act, a silky-voiced songstress named Inara George, from ‘Kal-ee-for-nigh-aay.” Mutya and Jamal weren’t fans, but I reckon in the context of a chilled out summer’s evening, rather than a rock gig in late March, she could be pretty cool. Her website has some funky balloon thing going on, so it’s probably worth checking out.

Next up was The Feeling - a band who are themselves replete with looky-likeys! Captain Mal Reynolds from Serenity sings, with Dec from Ant and Dec on bass, and the guy who played Jon in the Garfield movie on drums. Now, I saw The Feeling a couple of weeks back at the 100 Club, so I knew they were good. Mutya was quickly won over by their jaunty rock-pop, while Jamal took a little longer. He reckons they went “a little bit Crosby, Stills and Nash” at one point, which I think is intended as a complement. By the end he said they made him feel a little bit warm. A warm feeling, then.

(Mutya and I subsequently left Jamal to think a bit more about The Feeling while we retired to the bar, where Mutya pondered whether to give up smoking over a cigarette.)

Anyway, Nada Surf themselves – to quote someone I overheard at a Supergrass gig a few years back: they ripped the roof off (dudes).

They must’ve played, like, 300+ songs (including one about a kitten that was too small for its mittens and had a chorus that went something like… “meow, meow” … um, oh yeah, “meow!”). Incredible concert, and a freakin’ bargain too. How is this band not MASSIVE?! Not that I’m complaining – I’d much rather see them at Shepherds Bush than somewhere like Wembley Stadium (although the way building work on that is progressing it would be pretty unlikely they’d be able to play there anytime before space year 2146).

So, overall, a damn fine evening. Although it was slightly soured on the way back to the car when, while relating a story to Jamal and Mutya it appeared as if I called some random, well-dressed woman on the Goldhawk Road a “pikey.”

That was not my intention at all. Apologies to you, random well-dressed woman.

Must go buy more Nada Surf albums.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Slow news day

A couple of articles from that last bastion of quality journalism, the Daily Mail, have caught my eye over the last few of weeks.

Firstly, according to the Mail, Mick Jagger is basically allergic to old people. And today, they report that Will Young is cracking up and seeking solace in God.

Far be it for me to rip into these obviously very well researched pieces, but who cares if Will Young is chasing God? I probably would too if I'd sold my soul to the Devil.

And look, if I'm still in a position to be chasing hotties around the globe when I'm in my sixties, then quite frankly I'm sure I'd demand that the first 500 rows of my sold out stadium gigs are only full of blonde 21 year-olds. And no doubt I'd run a mile from anything with even the barest hint of a cabbage smell or wee about it.

Coming soon!

Oh happy days: Sparky Malarkey's first gig review happens this week!

Yes people - it's Nada Surf at the Shepherds Bush Empire! With support by The Feeling! (Apparently)

Accompanying me to this aural-fest will be Yaz (AKA 'Mutya') and my bro Simon. He doesn't have an 'AKA' yet, but after a huge Nandos and several too many coffees, I'm sure Mutya and I will find one for him. And it's his first gig at the Empire. Geez! What rock have you been under Simon?!

Rock on!


Have you ever noticed how your car feels like a safe, secure little bubble that no one else can enter unless invited?

And have you realised that people think they can get away with anything in their cars without anyone else noticing? Such as that breezy executive doing her make-up in the rear view mirror (because that's a sensible thing to do at 70 mph on the M25). Or that cheeky chappy plumber taking a call on his mobile (because there's no way HE'LL cause an accident). Or Gillian Taylforth, er, looking for that tube of polos she'd dropped between the seats...

Or singing along to the song on the CD! Because that's certainly not embarrassing when you're stopped at the traffic lights singing along to David Bowie's 'I'm Afraid of Americans' at the top of your voice, maybe even rocking out just a little, and you look to your left, and that woman in the blue Renault Megane is looking at you REALLY funnily.

Nope, that's not embarrassing at all...

Just blew in from the windy city

Well Spring has sprung. And brought with it its good friend Gale Force Winds.

I haven't been battered around like this since the last time I playfully punched my brother a little bit too hard. It's lucky I don't wear MC Hammer style trousers - I don't think I would've made it back to the office.

Still, it's actually quite mild out, and at least the wind is sweeping away the pervading smell of Diamond White and wee that usually characterizes Hammersmith, particularly around the tramp's urinal outside the Lyric Theatre.

On the downside, it's playing havoc with my hair. And to be quite honest, it's already looking a bit too much Jamie for my liking as it is.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Cool defined

Aside from being Mother's Day, did you also know it's Leonard Nimoy's birthday? No. Well, that's just rude... Go on, you've still got time to get to the 24-hour garage for some petrol-infused flowers and a box of Dai-

You get the gist.

I met Nimoy last year. Not as in we bumped into each other in the street and he said "hey Tim, how the hell have you been?" I went to a convention. Yeah go on, laugh it up! I've actually only been to a few - and mostly then for work purposes, but when I heard that Nimoy was going to be there I thought "sod it."

For someone who has just ticked over to 75, he is quite possibly the coolest man on the planet.

(And who said meeting your heroes was disappointing?)

Mother of...!

Did everyone remember it's Mother's Day?

No? Uh-oh... Quick - there's still time to get down to the 24-hour garage for a bouquet of petrol-infused flowers and a box of Dairy Milk that's only three weeks past its sell by date!

Go on - RUN!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Define cool

When does something stop becoming cool? I'm only asking because I'm just putting some new tunes on my Mum's iPod, among them some Nik Kershaw.

Ha, I scoffed, what a load of old tosh.

But have you listened to The Riddle recently?

I'm adrift in a sea of nostalgia! Christ, I hope the neighbours can't hear it...

I've got to admit, hidden among the Bowie and Rolling Stones stuff, I've got what some people would regard as slightly dodgy taste in music for this day and age. Hall and Oates? 1980s Steve Winwood? Thanks Dad - yes, you imprinted it all on my brain during those car journeys when I all I wanted to listen to was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie soundtrack.

Hmmm. In hindsight - good move pops!

Maybe now is the time to watch that Serious Moonlight DVD...


What is Queen Latifah actually queen of?

Post run anaylsis: not dead!

I survived people!! The run went very well - and by very well I mean I didn't:

a) collapse

b) vomit

c) die

d) steal an old man's mobility scooter from outside a pub.

I really didn't consider the last one. Honest.

That said, Sweatband and I did have a brief moment of concern when confronted by one of those dogs with a face like an anteater and balls the size of melons. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of dogs. I don't really see the point of them, and in my experience they either jump up and push me over, or start snapping away in the general area of my... well, I think you get the idea. And it's at times like that when the owner usually says something like: "Ooo, don't worry his bark's worse than his bite!"


Well I've not had the chance to check that, have I? The little bugger would have to let go in order to make any sort of noise.

Clearly when someone told canines the world over to 'grab life by the balls' they substitued the word 'life' with 'Tim.'

Friday, March 24, 2006

Dancing in the streets

And by dancing, I mean running (I just like using song titles as my post titles).

So tomorrow is run-day! I'm wondering how this is going to pan out, and I've realised that there are a couple of negative aspects to running in public.

• You have to run the gamut of dog poo on the streets.

• I'm so used to running with my iPod (not hand-in-hand I hasten to add) that I don't know if I can do it without some slutty guitar riffs firing into my ears at ear-drum rupturing volumes.

• The last time I went for a run some filthy chav shouted the word "knob" at me.

Now, to be honest, I think the last one was a bit harsh. Maybe if I'd said something about his grim girlfriend's Croydon facelift there would've been grounds for offence, but, y'know, I just stumbled past them wheezing like Darth Vader after he threw the Emperor down that big hole on the Death Star in Return of the Jedi.

What is it with Star Wars and big holes anyway?

Whatever; I'm a grown man. I can cope.

I'll make a post-run, er, post if I'm still alive tomorrow!

Fun and games

Is it just me, or does anyone else keep getting confused on Channel 4's The Games? Whenever they say "Bernie Nolan" I keep expecting it to be Bernie Mac...

(Now that would be something worth watching)

Look: a picture!

Yeah, OK - it's not quite rocket science, but like I said, I'm a bit of a techno-retard.

Let's consider this from a Brian Sewell point of view. Actually, no, let's not.

This is a pic I took of my first Mini back in 2003. Ah, what a great car... Still the new one's even better, so I won't wax lyrical too much.

I was thinking about having this image printed on canvas and hanging it in my living room, but my brother said that was a bit nerdy.

Whadya reckon?

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Marks and Sparks malarkey

After the Tesco trauma of the other day, I'd just like to say - how great is M&S food?

I could wander around their food halls for days. And look what I found today: FAT CHIPS.

Not reduced fat, nor low fat. FAT. They're practically rubbing themselves down with lard in the oven now. It might as well say on the packet "more than likely to cause coronary after one bite."


This, combined with the entire packet of double choc chip Maryland cookies I ate today (don't judge me it's been a difficult week!) means that I've probably lopped a good six months of my lifespan! Hooray!

Must go, FAT CHIPS beckon.

Sound and vision

I've just treated myself to some audiovisual excitement: HMV had The Kooks album Inside in Inside Out for sale at £6.99. This stupidly low price looks like a hideous mistake on their part, but I wasn't going to correct them. I'd probably have bought it at twice the price simply because the radio ad with Tom Baker is sublime. I could listen to that man say "The Kooks" for hours.

Anyway, it's playing out as I write this, and on first listen it's pretty good. I'll have to stick it in the car before I make a final judgement, as that's where I REALLY listen to music. But quite frankly, any album that features a track called Jackie Big Tits can't be anything less than genius in my book.

To top it off, I had one of those vouchers HMV give you before Christmas, so I HAD to buy something else to make it up to the required amount of £20. I failed in that respect, but it's great what a flirty smile can do to make a till girl sneak through a cheeky reduction for you (I'm such a whore). So, that being the case, say hello to David Bowie's Serious Moonlight DVD. Now, I'm a big Bowie fan, but it's going to take me a while to gear up to watching this.

The sight of anyone, let alone style icon David Bowie, wearing a flourescent green zoot suit is frightening in the extreme.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Shat attack!

Set your phasers to fun, people: It's William Shatner's birthday!

Yes, the man who brought us Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, and Denny Crane is 75 years young today.

And to celebrate, here's a few Shatner facts. Some of which may not be ... true...

• The Church of Shatner is the fasted growing religion in the Northern Hemisphere.

• Shatner is currently planning a new range of children's books. The first in the series, The Shat in the Hat, is due to be published in early 2007.

• Shatner should always be referred to as 'lord' or 'the almighty one'.

• My parents ensured that my initials matched those of TJ Hooker, despite the fact that I was born five years before the series began. (Great bit of forethought there, Mum and Dad!)

• In a fight between Shatner and David Hasselhoff, The Shat would definitely win by knocking the The Hoff to the ground with repeated double-fisted punches to the head. The potential television audience for such a spectacle is beyond calculation – the event itself possibly being beyond the capacity of our simple human brains to comprehend – but is definitely more than the viewing figures for last Christmas' Eastenders Special.

• William Shatner will spend his birthday delivering gifts to all the children of the world, vanquishing the forces of evil wherever they lurk, and engineering a renewable source of clean energy. He will also unite all the countries of the world in harmony, and lead humanity towards a bright new future under his guidance.

On a final note, let's take a look at the man's finest moment.

Ah, bless you, Bill - many happy returns!

Spring has sprung!

Driving into work this morning.

Blue sky. Sun shining. Street Fighting Man playing loudly out of the stereo.

Ain't life grand?

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Run Forest, run!

I've sort of provisionally agreed to do a 10k run in June.

In recent years I've only run on a treadmill while at the gym. My general opinion is that running in public should only be performed when you are either:

a) running away from something (such as angry dogs, invading aliens, or Pete Burns)


b) running towards something (such as a free car, a stack of cash, or the welcoming arms of, and potential smoochies with, Kristen Kreuk)

Bloody hell, it's not even for charity. Does that make it a ... 'fun run'?

[Fun (fun), n. 1 something that provides mirth or amusement. 2. enjoyment or playfulness. -adj. 3. informal. Providing fun; enjoyable: a fun thing to do.]

Hmmm. Well no doubt the sight of me turning blue and writhing on the ground in agony will provide amusement to some...

Practise run with my wonderful friend Sweatband on Saturday. She's promised tea and biscuits if I'm still alive at the end!

Link crazy

Look people:

I've added a few more links over there. Yeah, THERE.

First up is What I do. Which, er, shows you what ... I ... do. Hmmm.

Next are two links (a blog and a myspace) bearing the name of Mr Iain Baker, XFM DJ and all-round top bloke; his Westway blog was one of the sites I visited that got me thinking about starting this whole malarkey in the first place. So, er, Iain, it's really all your fault!

And last but certainly not least is Across-the-Board. I can't remember how I found this, but it's one of the blogs I always make sure to check first thing in the morning when I get to work, because it consistently makes me snort with laughter as I'm trying to eat my ready brek (which in itself is quite funny, and possibly worthy of a post when I sort out how to get some pictures up here).

So go have fun, kids!

Stuff and nonsense

Do y'know, I've actually not got anything specific to say today. That being the case, let's go with something like a news bulletin for the MTV generation who have an attention span roughly equivalent to a gnat.


• According to the Daily Mail, chicken breasts are "in", while chicken thighs are "out".

DO- Aw, that's going to get awfully boring after a while. I'll nip it in the bud now.

• Starbucks are trialing a new version of their hot chocolate. It tasted pretty great, and they gave me a voucher for a free hot beverage of my choice for when I next visit (which in hindsight makes me wonder if there's something dodgy about it...).

• After my little karma rant yesterday, things have picked up. I spent the afternoon in a whirlwind of interesting work and giddy laughter. Though, I suppose, seeing as I'm not usually prone to giddy anything, this could have something to do with the sugar content of the aforementioned hot chocolate.

• Also following on from one of yesterday's posts, I did forget something at Tesco: Actimel. No doubt at this moment bad bacteria are overpowering the forces of good in the battle of my gut.

• I've started using the words "dude" and "awesome" a lot. This might be a knee-jerk response to watching too many episodes of The OC. Which is an awesome show, dudes.

• The best way to describe my mood at the moment can be summed up by the opening lyric of the Nada Surf song 'Blankest Year'. Go listen to it; if you're in a bad mood it will make you feel SO much better. And if you're in a good mood you might just explode. In a good way. If that's possible.

Monday, March 20, 2006

A soul-sucking trip to Tesco


Just down the road from me is what appears to be the biggest Tesco on the face of the planet. I think it has its own membership to the European Union. Maybe even its own gravity well. Certainly its own sub-human species who prowl the aisles, rarely stepping into the light.

Its almost always impossible to just 'pop' into Tesco. Inevitably you find yourself drawn towards something you neither wanted nor needed. Example in point: the syrup pudding that now resides in my fridge. I'm sure it'll be lovely, but y'know...

Tesco is the perfect example of how to force a spontaneous purchase.

And inevitably I forget what I went there for as soon as I walk through its expansive, chewing-gum ridden portal.

Damn it was chicken I needed, not cillit bang!

Notable sights this visit:

• Two giant footprints painted on the floor to instruct me how to stand while at the cashpoint. My stance was about right, I'm glad to say.

• A man who looked like that serial killer from The X-Files who slept for 40-odd years in a bile-mache cocoon then woke up to eat people's livers. Fortunately he was crushed in a tragic escalator incident. The dude from The X-Files, that is, not the guy in Tesco.

I was also awarded 15 clubcard points and two Tesco 'computers for schools' vouchers. Screw the schools - how do I trade these bad boys in for that new intel iMac I've been lusting after?

My name is...

...The real Slim Shady.

Ha. No, actually that sentence should finish with the word 'Earl'.

Anyone watching that show? 'Tis very good - go watch it now. Well, after you've read this. Or come back and read this later, I don't care which.

Anyhoo, those that do watch My Name is Earl know that the basic setup is that the titular Earl has learnt of the concept of karma, and is attempting to put right all the bad things he'd previously done.

I like to think that I'm a pretty well-rounded (figuratively, not in girth), nice person, but I've come to the conclusion today, possibly one of the most infuriating days I have experienced during my working life, that I must've done something wrong. Possibly in a previous life because I certainly don't remember any instances of absolute evil in this one.

I suspect it was something like grinding kittens in a blender or making nuns drink toilet duck. Either way, on today's form, it was REALLY bad.

Wembley stadium is a bit shabby

Yes, that's the exciting news today. A girder dropped 3ft from the roof, and they sent all the workers home as a precaution.

Hang on - EX-SQUEEZE ME!?

They sent everyone home?!

Yes, apparently so. That being the case... who the hell is going to fix this?! Let's face it, it was the half-arsed efforts of one of those workers that caused this in the first place. He probably mistook the bifta he was trying to put out for the blow torch he should've been using.

I can picture the scene now:

"Well done Pavel, wipe that coke off your face and look at what you've done now. Humph, just go home. On full pay."

Now Wembley stadium is a big place. Couldn't they have got to work on something over the other side, or have they decided that seeing as it's already late, making it a little bit later couldn't hurt?

Maybe they could've assembled on the pitch like during a school fire drill.

Growing up close to Heathrow airport, my school had the double excitement of both a fire alarm and an aircraft warning bell. Whatever the emergency we still had to report to the same place: the tennis courts. Which were a mere 20ft or so from the main building.

Yes, in the event of a pilot deciding that the best place to ditch his plane was on top of a school full of children, we would all have had a front row seat as the fiery portent of our doom plunged towards us.

(Which bearing in mind some of the people I went to school with, might not've been a bad thing.)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Weekend at Sparky's

There's been a distinct lack of malarkey this weekend, but that doesn't mean it's not been a good one:

Friday - saw V for Vendetta. Now, unusually for me, this is one of the few 'must-read' graphic novels that I haven't read - particularly so because I'm a big fan of Alan Moore. That being the case, I can't compare the film to the original - suffice to say though, I did quite like it. I might've liked it more had I not been so damned tired.

Maybe I've developed narcolepsy?

Saturday - slept in late in an attempt to get over the aforementioned narcolepsy, then read a few comic books (DMZ, Majestic) and finished reading Close Range, the short story collection that Brokeback Mountain was originally published in.

Tried to get into a Les Incompetent gig in the evening with my bro, Simon, but we were a bit late getting there and the damned thing was full. I swear the chocolate brownie pudding we'd had earlier slowed us down.

Sunday - Woke up early and watched One Tree Hill. Is it me, or is this season of OTH really dire? Went to buy new gym gloves (after tumble drying the old ones, a process that pretty much petrified them). Stopped into Mum and Dad's and wangled a free lunch in the process. Got home and hoovered. Oh, the excitement.

Just been to the gym; the new gloves acquitted themselves well. Hooray.

And the remaining few hours of the weekend? Hmmm... I think it's a definite chillout - maybe start reading another book, followed by Supernatural and Desperate Housewives (another show that's nose-dived in quality) on the telly.


Friday, March 17, 2006

How rude of me!

Sorry, meant to say:


How long till Hallmark jump all over this one!?

Hollywood calling!

As an avid movie-goer, I think I'm well-placed to advise film studios on what the public really want to see. Watch out for these blockbusters coming your way in the next few years:

• Back to the Fuchsia - Join a crazy professor, his teenage sidekick and a sheep dog on a cracking adventure across time, space, and a pantone colour chart.

• The Doddfather – a remake of The Godfather starring Ken Dodd. I definitely think there's scope for sequels here.

• Coyote – Philip Seymour Hoffman reprises his Oscar-winning role in this sequel that sees him again trying to outwit that wily roadrunner.

On a related note, have you seen the trailer for Basic Instinct 2, the latest thriller to star 84 year old Sharon Stone? Oh, sorry, I meant '48'. Anyway, I'm betting all my savings on that being the best film ever, and in no way a gratuitous, plot-less waste of time that's as sexy and intriguing as an episode of Coronation Street from 1972.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Things that amused me at lunchtime

Witnessed today in the streets of Hammersmith:

• A Chihuahua in a turquoise T-shirt.

• A man staring intently at a flat tyre on his car, as if he could repair it with some sort of amazing inflato-vision.

(As you can tell, I'm quite easily amused.)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

iTunes has upset me

Don't get me wrong, I love iTunes, iPods ... anything with an 'i' in front of it, I s'pose ... but iTunes basically just said to me that, after seeing that I own music by Phantom Planet and the Foo Fighters I'd probably also like music by McFly.

Erm, NO.

I'm sure they are very nice people (the one with a head shaped like a potato was very polite when a friend of mine 'accidently' slammed a door on his face during a chance encounter the other year), but I really don't want to listen to their particular brand of sub-Busticated pop pap.

Isn't it about time they split up and vanished into oblivion anyway?

Look at that - today's two posts had music as a common theme: the good (see below), and the bad. Don't expect me to be so consistent in the future.

Beats writing about about dawdling old people like I'd planned to though...

What you listening to Sparky?

Well I'm glad you asked.

Have you heard the cover of Radiohead's 'Just' by Mark Ronson featuring (sorry, 'feat.') Alex Greenwald?


If I was a chavvy 16 year old, I'd probably say something along the lines of "man, dat is a phat choon."

But I'm not, so just go listen to it. Seriously, it sort of made me want to dance through the streets of Hammersmith while I was listening to it at lunchtime (which is probably not the best thing to do in Hammersmith, let me tell you).

Anyway - go listen! Is good!!

Monday, March 13, 2006

This is how it should be done...

OK! Look: on the right there is a link to a blog called Glitter for Brains. It's run by my good friend Lee, and basically it shows how a blog should be done.

He's won awards, don't ya know.

Anyway, it's very funny, so bugger off there for a while until I get into the groove of this thing. Just remember to come back eventually...

(And Lee - expect several emails over the next few weeks 'cos I'm technically quite retarded.)

Anybody out there...?

OK... I've been meaning to try this blogging thing for a while, so here we go...


First post, so definitely going to be a bit rubbish (I'm sure things will improve at some point, so stick with me on this).

Um... (yep, that was the digital equivilent of tumbleweed there).

Oh, yeah! Why call this blog Sparky Malarkey I hear you all asking (or is that just an echo?). I'm ignoring any responses, or lack thereof; basically, my brother, Simon (you better be reading this or I'll pound you, bro!) calls me Sparky. I like to think it's a term of endearment, but y'know what brothers are like.

So that's the Sparky bit sorted. And, er, I suppose the idea is that I write about my ... malarkey... Hmmm.

Note to self: must up the malarkey quota.

More soon.