Wembley stadium is a bit shabby

Yes, that's the exciting news today. A girder dropped 3ft from the roof, and they sent all the workers home as a precaution.

Hang on - EX-SQUEEZE ME!?

They sent everyone home?!

Yes, apparently so. That being the case... who the hell is going to fix this?! Let's face it, it was the half-arsed efforts of one of those workers that caused this in the first place. He probably mistook the bifta he was trying to put out for the blow torch he should've been using.

I can picture the scene now:

"Well done Pavel, wipe that coke off your face and look at what you've done now. Humph, just go home. On full pay."

Now Wembley stadium is a big place. Couldn't they have got to work on something over the other side, or have they decided that seeing as it's already late, making it a little bit later couldn't hurt?

Maybe they could've assembled on the pitch like during a school fire drill.

Growing up close to Heathrow airport, my school had the double excitement of both a fire alarm and an aircraft warning bell. Whatever the emergency we still had to report to the same place: the tennis courts. Which were a mere 20ft or so from the main building.

Yes, in the event of a pilot deciding that the best place to ditch his plane was on top of a school full of children, we would all have had a front row seat as the fiery portent of our doom plunged towards us.

(Which bearing in mind some of the people I went to school with, might not've been a bad thing.)