Thursday, August 03, 2006

My car is punishing me

Last night, just two hours after rating Pixar's new film Cars a 'turd' on the Sparky Malarkey patented movie rating-o-meter, my very own beloved Mini decided that I'd gone a little bit too far, and decided to punish me.

I came out of the gym, and noticed a car alarm going off in the car park.

Whoa! Where's that coming from, I thought. It's really shrill and annoying.

As I drove off I noticed that the alarm... seemed to be following me.

Yes. My car alarm was going off while I was driving it.


It was kinda like the opening credits sequence to the Naked Gun movies, you know - where the camera is positioned on the roof of a police car, only in this instance it was embarrassing rather than funny. Everyone I passed was looking. And probably thinking I was a cheeky thief.

I thought about pretending to be a plain-clothes police officer - speeding home and occasionally shouting "Oi you SLAAAAAAAAG!" like I was chasing an evil criminal genius, but my car stands out a little bit too much to be a plain clothes police car, so I just looked a bit sheepish and made it clear that I was very annoyed with it when I pulled up alongside other cars at traffic lights.

A "tut" and a bemused look at the dashboard can go a long way.

Anyway, this being the case:

Sparky Malarkey would like to make it clear that a previous post that listed the new Disney pixar blockbuster motion picture Cars a 'turd' was mis-informed, poorly written, and unnecessary. This being the case, I'd like to apologise whole-heartedly to my beloved car for any distress cause.

But to be honest, dear Mini, you didn't see it. It was REALLY bad. Please don't go alarm crazy again!

No comments: