Feety pains and other nonsense

My feet hurt today. Well, my ankles, to be more specific. And I blame my boots - although you could also blame my general dapper sense of dress over the last couple of days. You see I bought a really nice posh new shirt, and I was a bit hesitant to tar it by matching it with my trendily battered (not in the chip shop sense, mind) trainers. So I pulled my posh boots out of the wardrobe - might as well make full use of them seeing as they've got some exciting new laces now, I thought.

So there I was, effectively half-suited and booted. And of course this illicited the usual round of are you, A) on the pull tonight, or B) going for a job interview, from my workmates. Sadly, the answer to both was "no." What is it with the constant questioning when I actually dress smartly? I ask you, you walk around the office in your undercrackers once...

(As an aside, bearing in mind that we can all dress slobbily at work, I've been trying to instigate a Formal Friday, as in the opposite of other companies who have dress down Fridays. No one's biting yet, but I'm eager to buy a top hat so will carry on pushing for it)

Anyway, yes, so there I am all smart and rather hot-looking (as in smouldering, not in the temperature). Except for the fact that I realised I'm a bit unfamiliar with the boot situation. Trainers they are not. So I effectively clippety-cloppetied around the office like a two year-old girl in mummy's stillettos all day. Sort of destroyed my sexy aura.

I think I'll practise round the house before I try that again.

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You know that sodding awful Microsoft assistant that pops up whenever you're doing something and says "Ooo, you look like you're writing a letter - would you like me to screw it up for you then crash?"

Well I've had a genius idea (I think you'll agree that I've been having a lot of these recently). Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I present to you the next generation of computer assistant:


The iShat.

I think we'll all be grateful to have one of these helping us make a spreadsheet and send an email this time next year. You saw it here first, remember.

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Inspired by an email I received from the lovely Nikki, I'm thinking of changing the tagline to this blog (the 'puny human brain' thing was never meant to be permanent - as you can tell from the above idea, my brain is anything but puny).

And what is this proposed new tagline?

Sparky Malarkey - Guaranteed to make you snort tea out of your nose - or your money back!

OK, so you won't get your money back if you don't snort tea through your nose because none of you are paying me for this drivel, but the thought is there.

Before I do go racing ahead and changing it, though, can I just ask if anyone else has suffered a tea-based incident at my hands? Because basically I don't want to get done by Trading Standards for false advertising.