I've been trying to convince Yaz to see Snakes on a Plane, but she's not biting. I don't know why - after all, it does have the winning combination of snakes, a plane, and Samuel L. Jackson. Despite her not liking snakes, planes, or Samuel L. Jackson, Yaz and I spent lunchtime discussing potential sequels. Our two initial favourites were the one starring the actor who plays Commander Riker in Star Trek: The Next Generation - Frakes on a Plane – and one with a magician - Snakes on a Blaine. But nothing really hit the spot.
Then, on the walk back to our respective offices, one of Hammersmith's resident crazies helped us complete our objective; a diminutive middle-aged woman on a BMX (no kidding!) almost ran into Yaz. With a wry look, a raised eyebrow, and a hint of venom in her voice, she turned to me and said: "Munchkin on a mutha-f**kin' bike.
Coming to a multiplex near you soon, no doubt.
There's something almost mystical in the way that Star Trek weaves itself into my everyday life. From the constant references to the uncanny similarity I have to Captain Kirk, to, well, what I do for a living.
But today was a turning point even for me.
My friends - I found the Enterprise.
You know I'm doing another 10k in October? Well Sweatband never told me that as part of the entrance fee we got a t-shirt. And, it seems, we sort of have to wear the t-shirt when we do the run.
Fair enough, you might say. But the t-shirt is cotton, and that means it's going to get sweaty, clingy, and uncomfortable. Fine. I'll wear a damned base-layer, problem solved.
But that's not all. You see, the t-shirt is turquoise.
And I don't really do turquoise.
Could it get any worse, you ask. Well let me tell you: yes, it can.
Because the run is sponsored by Tesco. And the t-shirt has Tesco printed on the arse.
I'm thinking I may have to cross it out and write Sainsburys above it in marker pen.
On the plus side, it seems Sweatband has ordered a t-shirt that's a couple of sizes too large; for pure comedy value, I've suggested that she ties the excess material in a knot at the front, pops on a pair of leg-warmers, gets a frizzy perm, and pretends to be one of the kids from Fame.