"Oh," said Emma. "Is that an adaptation of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical The Woman in White?"
"No," I replied. "It's called Lady in the Water, and apparently it's a crap adult fairy tale by the guy that did the Sixth Sense."
Having sold the movie to her as well as I could, we wandered into the cinema, her thinking that I was taking her to see a sub-par Harry Potter style fairy tale with a 'surprise twist ending,' and me hoping to god it wasn't actually anything to do with Andrew Lloyd Webber.
It was neither. No twist, no Webber. To be honest it was better than I thought it was going to be, even if there were huge parts of it that were pure prententious bollocks. Oh, and M. Night Sham-a-lam-a-ding-dong really needs to stop casting himself in increasingly large roles in his own films; mister - you cannot act for toffee. Geez! Even Alfred Hitchcock restricted his cameos to mere seconds. Sham-a-lam-a-ding-dong gives himself a pivotal role as a man who will eventually influence someone to reshape world politics with his thought-provoking views!! Although on the flip side, that ain't gonna happen in the real world, Sham-a-lam-a-ding-dong, so you might as well make the most of it.
Possibly the best outcome of the afternoon was that it has allowed me to expand my fantasy casting for the live action Simpsons movie I think should be made (I've also got a plan for a live action Penelope Pitstop, but more on that another time).
Previously I had this:
William H. Macy = Ned Flanders
And now I've got:
Paul Giamatti = Homer Simpson
How cool is tha- Oh, hang on a sec...!
12 comments:
Ha ha!!!! First.
God I do not tired of that joke.
In other news, WTF happened to Paul Giamatti?? I don't remember him ever looking that much like Homer before!! Why man, why?! Although William H. Macy as Ned is a great pick.
First - you hot ticket!
I reckon we should abduct Giamatti and paint him yellow. That would be awesome. How awesome would that be? VERY awesome.
We need to round out the rest of the cast!
Just so you know, I'm not painting ANYTHING on Paul that is below the waist. Just making that clear.
Although abducting him is a way cool idea. Next job after the paint would be to shave off that beard and hair. You know so he can become the character.
Trying to think of who would make a great Patty and Selma. Will return if anyone comes to mind....
I bet you would paint him. Because I'm sure as hell not.
Maybe we could just dip him into the yellow paint?
Rhea Perlman from Cheers would be a good Patti. Or Selma. Shame there's only one of her...!
Ooo! Erm, wots-her-face as Lisa! Dakota Fanning!! GENIUS!
Sawyer from Lost would be a good 'Snake'.
YES!
We need a Ralph Wiggum. Ha ha - my favourite Simpsons quote EVER is a toss up between "Miss Hoover? I ate my crayons" and when he calls Superintendent Chalmers "Supernintendo Chalmers!"
"When I grow up, I want to be a principle or a caterpillar."
I know you want suggestions for characters but I just can't think of any.
Oh. Hang on:
Lucy Liu as Cookie 'Stay away from the West Side' Kwan.
That's OK - I'm seriously thinking about starting a Ralph Wiggum appreciation post!
Ooo - Lucy Lui! And she'd be perfect as the Lucy Lui-bots if they ever made a live action Futurama movie! Oh, hang on...
Just make sure that fool M Night Shyamamamaammamalan doesn't get to direct the live action Simpsons. He'd probably cast himself as Homer. And Bart.
God, yeah! I'm going to use all my considerable Hollywood influence to make sure Ding-Dong never works in this/that town again.
Isn't there a rumour that he's going to be doing Harry Potter. I mean, rather, DOING a Harry Potter movie? Emma Watson better look out...
Dwight from the American version of The Office (Rain Wilson?) would be handy as Smithers.
Blank face...
To the Google!
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Eek! He's a bit scary!!! We need a comic book guy!
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