Thursday, September 21, 2006

Quality nerd time

Some of you may have noticed that in the comments section of one of my recent posts there's been a little discussion about me making Star Trek sound effects to amuse myself. I bet you're wondering if I really do that, or am I - heh heh! - merely making light of myself for comedy value?

Ha ha! I really do it.

Well, I never used to. But then the batteries ran out in most of my office Star Trek toys and I was left with no choice. Both my phasers have stopped working, so I'm defenseless when angry couriers come in. On the plus side, I've still got two working communicators - one talks with the voice of Sam from Quantum Leap, while the other one makes beeping sound effects; I used the latter one yesterday to pretend to be Captain Pike after he was crippled by delta radiation, and spent some quality time wheeling around the office with drool leaking out of my mouth. Unfortunately, it couldn't do a single beep, so in Captain Pike twin-beep terminology I was a negative nelly all day.

Moving on though, I've been using a lot of the original series DVDs to check facts in the latest issue, and I've realised that if you leave it on the menu screen it sits there whistling and beeping like the bridge of the Enterprise. At first this was kind of unnerving, but then I realised that if I closed my eyes I could sorta imagine like I was actually on the bridge; unfortunately, when I opened my eyes I was still in Hammersmith, and I didn't have an extravagantly bee-hived yeoman to serve me coffee or clutch me inappropriately during crisis situations.

14 comments:

Dinah said...

There always seems to be a shortage of people to clutch in crisis situations. There is not, though a shortage of people willing to claim FIRST!

Miss Smuggersham said...

Oh Dinah. That was very well said!

I love her beehive! I think I need to time warp either forward to that time, or back to that time. Depending on your perspective...

Damn, they really know how to pile their hair up!

Tim said...

Dinah - I know! That said, what exactly was Yeoman Rand's position on the ship? Yes, she looked pretty; yes, she had astonishing hair - but did the woman even attend Starfleet Academy?! What did she do? She served Kirk coffee, and hugged him when things liked dire.

No one ever hugs me in a crisis. I'm not saying I'd like to do it every day, but sometimes it can help. And I don't mind being the hugger or the huggee.

Miss Haversham - I think going forward is definitely the way, um, forward. I love the way that original Star Trek shows how fashions are cyclical. Just imagine if it'd been made in the seventies though - I'm picturing Spock in flares and super-wide lapels...

Miss Smuggersham said...

Yes, I was thinking about that today - cyclical fashion I mean. It must have been some time in the future when free love and miniskirts were accepted at Star Fleet. I just find it curious that Archer and gang have coveralls, then the uniforms get all cool with Kirk, then stupidly lycra tight with Picard, then normal coveralls again with Picard and Janeway and Avery.

Holy crap. I *am* a nerd.

Hugger or huggee. I thought hugs were a mutual thing. Aren't you both the hugger and the huggee, and that's what makes it great? Or is the hugger the person who initiates the hug?

Tim said...

Can you imagine if Starfleet had cycled back round to miniskirts for Voyager. I wouldn't have been able to take Janeway half as seriously. Or Chief O'Brien.

Hugs can be a mutual thing, but a spontaneously initiated hug definitely divides into a hugger and a huggee. A spontaneous hug can be a beautiful thing, unless the unsuspecting huggee thinks you're about to attack them and pepper-sprays you in the face.

Miss Smuggersham said...

I am a bit of a hugaholic.

Yes, I am Miss Haversham, a hippy nerd hugaholic. They (hugs, not hippies or nerds) always seem to be mutual... well at least I have never been pepper sprayed, so I must be doing something right.

Now, my original purpose was to rouse on you for making that link to the Star Trek site. I got all upset because I said Avery instead of Sisko, and before I knew it I was reading about the long running feud between Romulans and the Vulcans. I have just literally woken up from a 2 hour nerd fest. Well, my dinner plans went out the window, so it gave me something to do...

Inexplicable DeVice said...

* FWIIISSH *

Why is the bridge full of Tribbles? And where's my damn coffee, yeoman?

Tim said...

Miss Haversham - Yes, hugs are good. Pepper spray is bad. Knowing the difference clearly shows how enlightened I am. Have you ever hugged a stranger?

That Star Trek site is pretty good, isn't it? I've wasted a fair bit of my life there too! I wasn't going to point out about the Avery/Sisko conflict. Hey, for all I know you might be Avery Brooks' best mate!!!

Inexplicable Device - Damn, I need some fwiisshing doors now. Or at least the sound effect so I can make a dramatic entrance. Tragically I already have some tribbles on my desk. And every know and then I pop one in my empty mug and look at it just like Kirk did.

Dinah said...

Maybe I spent too much time on there this morning, but when I went to the library this afternoon, there was a new sideways moving door, with a Fwiiiish sound.

If only I still had the red Star Trek shirt I had when I was 10. If only!!!!

Tim said...

Dinah! Thank god you don't have that red shirt!! Those things are lethal - did you not see the original series?!

Good grief! Transfer to the science or command divisions and save yourself!!

Dinah said...

It was a Next Generation red shirt, if that makes any difference.

Tim said...

Oh, Dinah, phew! A TNG red shirt is fine - you're safe!!

Stand down red alert people!

Miss Smuggersham said...

Have I ever hugged a stranger?

No. I don't think I have... ummm. Actually that may not be true. I have a recollection of hugging a nurse at a hospital once. But that was a hazy day so I could be mistaken.

Tim said...

Remember: a stranger is a friend you just haven't met/hugged yet.

Damn! Am I quoting the Golden Girls or something!?