Sunday, September 24, 2006

It sucked... until it broke

I was all organised today - everything was planned with military precision. I got up, made myself a cup of tea, went for a run, got back, got my Henry hoover out, and prepared for some housework!

I was hoovering away like a man possessed when I heard an unexpected "fup" (actually, would you ever expect a "fup"? ). It was around that same point that I realised that Henry was no longer, um, sucking.

I turned round to chastise his damned smiley face - and that's when I saw what had happened. His damn nozzle had sheared off. Not just pulled out. SHEARED OFF. As in 'unable to repair.'

I did what anyone in my position would do. I phoned my Mum.

"Mum, my hoover just broke," I said.

"Oh well, I'm sure you can get a replacement bit."

She's a sage and wise woman.


After dinner I decided I wanted a cup of coffee, so I filled up the kettle, and flicked it on. I walked away, and realised that the kettle wasn't boiling. Dammit! Had this broken as well? I love this kettle; I freely admit that I bought it purely based on the fact that it looked like something they'd have on the Enterprise. It has a button that flick-releases the lid.

As it turns out, the kettle was not broken. I'd just turned the wrong switch on at the plug.


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Heavens to Murgatroyde! I'm first!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Right. Now that the difficult bit is out of the way:

Perhaps it's a kindness that Henry broke. Those things were all meant to be recalled and replaced years ago. After all, how would you like to be flying along on one with that insufferable smug face leering up your nethers?

As for the kettle: D'oh!

Tim said...

Ha ha ha!! You out-firsted yourself!!

What, recalled? Replaced?! Wha!?!

I did go through a phase of thinking that Henry looked a little... um, demonic... but I've since grown rather fond of him. Of course, I'd be rather more fond of him if he could do the hoovering without needing me to lift a finger...

Miss T said...

Are you talking about the vacuum with the face on it? And they are red? It really is scary...

Someone should invent a remote control hoover ('hoover'sounds so exotic. We call it vacuum and when using it we are *vacuuming*) so that kids will clamber to do the hoovering around the neighbourhood.

Dinah said...

I always have rotten luck with vaccuums. I don't think it has two c's and two u's, but it should. No, it shouldn't. I'm just lazy.

Tim said...

Miss Haversham - Yep, that's the one! Scary or not, it was free, so I wasn't complaining!!!

Hey, the remote control hoover is an awesome idea!! To the patent office with thee!

Dinah - They are one of the more temperamental forms of domestic technology, aren't they? Mind you, I actually don't use mine that often... Um, because my house is, er, naturally clean...