Sainsbury's have friggin' Christmas things out! It's SEPTEMBER. Goddamn! HAPPY GODDAMN FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS! WOO-HOO!!
*Ahem*
Where was I? Oh yeah, 'Sparky schemes.' How machiavellian (and yes I did spell that right). Indeed, I am scheming. I've got a plan... a possibly exciting plan...
I'm off to an exciting party tomorrow. We tend to have a lot of those in the publishing world. I say 'we,' but I actually mean 'other people.' Either way, I very rarely go to them. Not because I'm above it all, merely because... well, I can't be arsed, actually. That sounds rude, and looking back over it, it is. But, y'know, whatever.
Anyway, I'm going to this one, for a number of reasons; one being that it's at the Kensington Roof Gardens, which aside from being very posh and expensive simply intrigues me, and another being that I'm... scheming... Muwahahahahaha!
Anyway, the dress code says "gorgeous." I'm not sure I can manage that, but I'll definitely wear my shiny shoes.
8 comments:
Take your red lack so you can sit on top of it, for all to admire the gorgeous shoes.
Ooo, that's a cracking idea - although I haven't bought a lack yet. Must sort out that trip to IKEA...
I'll definitely make some sort of effort clothing wise, although "gorgeous" isn't quite me. I'm trying to think of the right word... "WHOA!" comes to mind, but I'll let you make up your own mind whether that's a good "WHOA!" or a bad "WHOA!"
"WHOA" like Joey Lawrence in Blossom or "WHOA" like Keanu in the Matrix? Either works, actually.
And Meeeeeerry Christmas. I actually love Christmas, including the buildup, so it works for me.
Um, not "WHOA!" Like Keanu - unfortunately I don't know kung fu... I'm not massively familiar with Joey Lawrence either... didn't he have a crappy singing career?
And Merry Christmas to you to! I refuse to get excited by Christmas until December, so I'm thinking about going back to Sainsbury's and trashing their display!
Ah. That explains what Sainsbury's was doing, moving things from one aisle to the next, in my neck of the woods on Sunday. I actually got my first Christmas card last week, too! Grrr...
So. This 'Gorgeous' dress code: I expect you'll have to dress down, then?
You got your first Christmas card?! Good grief! Are you sure it wasn't an incredibly late one from last year?
If not, well some people are just to damned effficient for their own good. Are you going to put it out on display for the next... um... three months?
I've come to the conclusion that 'gorgeous' is a very nebulous statement to be putting on an invite, because quite frankly one man's gorgeous is another man's god awful. I'll be having words about it tonight, don't you worry.
I have temporarily surrendered my usual uniform of smutty t-shirt, and am currently fielding questions about whether I'm a) on the pull, or b) going for an interview.
*Sigh*
What about an option C?
Option C Subsection 1:
Co worker: Tim! Ahahahahahahaha! You're wearing a business shirt! Are you on the pull?
Tim: I've recently joined *insert pyramid scheme here*. How much to do earn in a day? Is that what you are worth? You can double that in six months....
Option C Subsection 1:
Co worker: Tim! Fwoar! You're wearing a business shirt! You going out on the pull tonight mate? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!
Tim: *Rips business shirt open to reveal smutty t shirt underneath*
Ooo... I'd never considered an Option C before... That's almost reckless - but I like it!!
I'm going with the smutty t-shirt option next time. Hey! Maybe if I wear my Superman t-shirt people will think...
Hmmm...
Just maybe...
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