Saturday, May 27, 2006

Friday, what a day, working all week for you

In addition to the name thing, so much else of zero interest happened last night.

That mean... Yes, my friends, it's the return of the bullet points: •

Eek! They're everywhere •!

Erm... OK...

• Basically, a group of us went to Leicester Square last night to see X-Men: The Last Stand, which if you've read this blog before, you'll know I wasn't expecting great things of because, well, IT'S A BRETT RATNER FILM!!! That said, it was pretty entertaining, although not quite X-Men 2. Or X-Men 1. There was some cracking dialogue, though, such as Wolverine's stirring call to arms "C'mon, we're X-Men!", that ranked right up there with The Da Vinci Code's "I need a library - FAST!"

• The cinema had some of the film's props on display and we kept trying to goad Lee into putting on Magneto's costume while the staff weren't looking. I think it would really have suited him and his machiavellian ways.

• Lee almost decapitated himself on an escalator.

• In addition to our proposed new porcine-based coffee beverage Porkacino (still waiting for a response from Starbucks on that one), Jeff, Yaz, and I hammered out a possible new Coca-Cola limited edition flavour: Coke Bong-Water. Because, quite frankly, it couldn't have made Yaz any more giddy than the Diet Coke with Cherry Limited Edition that she had last night. Poor woman was all over the place. God knows what they replaced the sugar with...

• We had drinks in a bar called Fudge, which served, er, fudge, in little ramikin-type things. Yaz mistook it for an ashtray, however, so we were all denied any fudge-based fun.

• A new style of dance was invented when Lee asked me why I wasn't drinking. As I had a mouthful of Coke (a-cola), I made the international gesture for using a steering wheel, thus indicating that I was driving later. He thought this meant I was off clubbing. Within ten minutes the dance had been extended to include 'indicators' and 'mirror, signal, maneuvre.' All the kids will be doing it in Ritz's nightclubs up and down the country by the end of the month.

• According to Lee, I can dance "really well." (which is a vicious rumour)

• But wait! The biggest revelation of the night came when Yaz announced that she'd heard of a club on Oxford Street where – get this – dwarves and dogs fight! YES! DWARVES. And DOGS. FIGHTING.

I wanted to go! I wanted to see little people savagely attacking dogs (which, you should all know, I'm not a big fan of). I would've put money on the little people! I want to see midgets body-slamming labradors!!!!!

There was just one flaw that stopped me downing my drink and sprinting round to Oxford Street.

The club shut in the 1800s.



M said...

"The club shut in the 1800s."

Between 6-7pm?

Couldn't you go at another time?

Tim said...

I need a time-traveling bus!