Saturday, December 23, 2006

Twas the night before Christmas (eve, anyway)

We three Beatles of Orient are,
John in a taxi, Paul in a car,
George on his scooter beeping his hooter,
Following Ringo Starr.

Ah, I used to love that traditional Christmas song when I was a kid; who knew they weren't the original lyrics?

So the big day is bearing down on us like a fat drunken man dressed as Santa, and I'm beginning to get that giddy feeling of child-like excitement. It's cold outside, warm inside, presents are wrapped, and I had a stroke of genius yesterday to add to the admittedly minimal festive decorations within Sparky Towers.

Just after I bought my house last year I picked up a string of white lights - y'see, there's a white piller next to the stairs that I thought would look great with lights wrapped round it. I was influenced by Smallville - particularly in the early seasons when they had the Beanery coffee shop where everything was lit by little fairy lights. Yes, I was influenced by a TV show - not the first time...

Anyway, so I bought the lights, shoved 'em under the stairs, and promptly forgot about them.

Until last night!

There I was playing Star Trek: Legacy on my Xbox (hearing ship names and seeing targeting reticles when you close your eyes isn't really a sign of addiction, is it?) when I suddenly remembered them. So I paused the game, dug out the lights, and wrapped them around said piller.

And by gum it looks great!

The only possible downside could be that Mr Chunt already thinks I've tried to decorate downstairs to look like engineering on the Enterprise - and now I've got something that looks like a rudimentary warp core it's going to be difficult to convince him otherwise...


So look, my lovelies, I think it's likely this'll be my last post until the middle of next week (when I'll be jumping on the bandwagon with a look back on the best bits of 2006!), so in the meantime I'd like to wish you all a very happy and healthy Christmas!

And who better to teach us about the true meaning of Christmas than the man himself, Mr. William Shatner - take it away Shatty!

I salute you all!


skillz said...

Three wise men from Leicester Square

Selling knickers, 10 pence a pair

They're fantastic

No elastic

Please buy your granny a pair

Tim said...

And I thought the only thing they sold in Leicester Square was crap portraits of celebrities, dodgy lighters, and drug!

Thanks for the heads up Skillz!

Dinah said...

We always sang the one where the kings tried to smoke a rubber cigar, it was loaded and exploded...I forget the rest.

Merry Christmas!

Tim said...

Kings smoking exploding rubber cigars!? Ha ha!! I'm not familiar with that one - I'll have to Google it!!

You have an awesome one too, Dinah!!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

"Jesus Christ! Superstar!

Came to town on a Yamaha.

Did a skid,

killed a kid

and rattled his balls* on a dustbin lid!"

... or somesuch. Anyway, I think we can all learn the true meaning of Christmas from that delightful playground song from yesteryear.

Can't we?

Oh well. Snaps to William Shatner!

have a great Christmas, Tim.

Bah! Humbug!

* could've been baubles, but the glass ones would've smashed against the metal bin lids...

Tim said...

And Christmas snaps to you too IDV!!!

And thanks for reminding me about the Jesus Yamaha tune - I'd totally forgotten that one!!!

Dinah said...

I think it went something like this:

We three kings of Orient are
trying to smoke a rubber cigar
it was loaded
and exploded

We two kings...etc.

It's right up there with "Joy to the World, the school burned down."

Dinah said...

Oh! and Jingle Bells, Batman smells, that was another classic.

Tim said...

So it's kinda like 10 green bottles, but with three kings instead? Awesome!!

Ha ha - I love your version of Joy to the World! Maybe we should all get together and record an album of alternate lyric'd songs for next year?

Dora and Tina said...

Ha ha - a rubber cigar! What the hell were those crazy, crazy kings thinking? I remember singing the one about jingle bells, batman I recall Wonder Woman flew TAA - or some such thing.

Does TAA stand for tits and arse? I only just thought about that. That would make a lot of sense as WW does have the TAA....

Anonymous said...

I am rich and you are not - Happy Xmas!

Tim said...

Dora - I know, crazy, crazy kings indeed!

Do you think Batman really smells? I suppose he'd get a bit sweaty in that costume while he's fighting, but I really think we should give the guy a break seeing as he is fighting crime.

Wonder Woman does have tits and and arse. And particularly fine ones depending on who's drawing her. And she has a lasso of truth.

Mutley the Dog - Thank you for your... insightful comment! Merry Christmas to you too, and I hope being a dog and lacking opposable thumbs does not prevent you from enjoying your copious amounts of money!