Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Cautiously optimistic

If my life were a movie, it would be right around now, just after the climactic shootout, that I'd stand up, turn to my comrades and sexy love interest, and say "see - that wasn't so bad..." – before being shot in the back in a final act of vengeance by one of my mortally-wounded foes.

You see, we're now at ... T-minus 22 working hours until I finish work for the year and begin my obscenely long Christmas holiday of crap telly, Xbox, and junk food.

And yet I can't help shake the feeling that everything is going a little too well...

We were set a pretty tight deadline on things that needed to be done before I swagger out of the office on Friday afternoon with a skip in my stride and a twinkle in my eyes - but somehow everything seems to have gotten done, or at the very least almost done; certainly do-able. And that still leaves me with three days to tidy up any loose ends.

But I've been in this sort of position before, and I know that someone or something always comes along to shat on the parade. Call me a pessimist, but I say it's better to be prepared. Or at the very least braced for impact (any old excuse to randomly shout "ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT!" in the office - hee hee, watch those confused faces!).

So I think I'm prepared. Although no doubt if something untoward does crop up I'll throw a hissy fit and get all sweary. Hell - give the people what they expect!


Has anyone else noticed that in the adverts for Iceland (the supermarket, not the country), Kerry Katona has a different fella in EVERY SINGLE ONE?

I think we can all guess why that particular mum is going to Iceland...

I refer the honorable reader to the post below.

Yes, she's a slut!


Neil said...

You can get 4 fish fingers for a bargain price of 49p.

Miss T said...

I also subscribe to the 'things could turn to shit at any minute' way. It just helps you when it does. Either that, or you are pleasantly surprised.

Who is Kerry Katona?

Tim said...

Skillz - are you trying to confuse me by transmogrifying your name?

You can also get a King Prawn ring for £3, but I still ain't going there!

Miss T - I'm hoping and praying for pleasantly surprised, but as you say - better to be prepared!

Kerry Katona is the talent vacuum who used to be in Atomic Kitten, married some idiot from Westlife, then got divorced. She's rubbish!

Miss T said...

Oh!! She's the one that wants to kick Delta Goodrem in the girl parts then?

Tim said...

Yeah - that's the one!

How could anyone want to kick Delta Goodrem, even if she is a marriage-breaking ho?

Tara said...

Tim, for the next few days that follow, and even till the end of Friday, do not say out loud anything like "That was easy!" or start a project by saying "All I have to do is..."..Just try to avoid saying anything that will lead you to get shot in the back by Murphy's Law. Usually if I pretend that something will take a long time, it winds up being....(shhhh)....e.a.s.y. (Don't read that last word out loud, it could jinx you.) Good luck!

Tim said...

Aaaah, Tara, your sage words of advice have come just a little too late - I had a moment of dawning realisation earlier that there actually is something that's not urgent at the moment, but will be from the very moment I get back to work in 2007.

Still - I can take steps to ease that prob now! Unfortunately that means doing a bit more work rather than sitting back and looking at the intermaweb all day.


Ryan said...

Man, I wish somebody would fuck up my life. I work great under a deadline. Come on... anybody? Any body? Fuck me? :)

Tim said...

Yeah, I work great under deadlines too... I would just prefer not to have any!

Ooo - here's an idea: Ryan! Do you wanna do my work for me?

Go on. It'll be fun. Honest!

It will really be fun.


(Have I convinced him yet? No? Any other takers?
Is that tumbleweed I see...?)

Miss T said...

I think you'd slave drive me into doing something heinous like getting the milk. Clearly, I am too qualified for that - mwahahahaha!

I'm twirling my evil moustache.

Tim said...

Hell, I have to get the milk 'cos I'm always first in!!


AND... I actually do have an evil moustache at the moment! I can completely understand why evil geniuses have them. They're pretty cool to, um, twirl maniacally!

Ryan said...

Eww. No! Haha.

Dinah said...


Tim said...

Ryan - Are you ewwing my job offer, or moustaches?

The job - um, like, it's great! You'd love it, I'm sure!!

The moustache - It's very General Zod; I recommend it at least once.

(any ladies reading - try a fake one)

Dinah - are you calling me a slut?! ARE. YOU. CALLING. ME. A SLUT?!

Hit the nail on the head, huh?

Dinah said...

I just got really excited that Blogger was letting me post.

Tim said...

Why - have you been having problems posting?

If so let me know and I'll write blogger a sternly worded letter of complaint.

And send the boys raaaand!!