Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The wheel of fortune

Regular readers will know that I verge on being almost obsessive about supermarkets - the products they stock, the class divide between, say, Lidl (chavvy) and Marks and Spencers Simply Food (posh), and the overall food purchasing experience.

And lately, of course, we obese-obsessed Britlanders have been presented with a new supermarket-based level of entertainment: the health information!

No longer can the fatties just pull whatever they want from the shelves with their pudgy little fingers! No! Now every item must show how healthy it is - or not, as the case may be! There's a variety of systems in use across the different stores, my particular favourite (which I've mentioned before) being the Sainsbury's wheel of health.

This is just genius, because however you look at it, if there's red, it's screaming "FATTY" at you, or at the very least "NOT QUITE AS GOOD FOR YOU AS YOU'D LIKE IT TO BE!"

Imagine my surprise today, then, when I took a closer look at the nice big chocolate truffle bar I bought a while back.


Now, I know chocolate isn't exactly a green-leaf salad, but that, my friends, as if you couldn't see, is an almost totally red wheel of health. Almost unprecedented...

On the plus side, it's green on 'salt,' so I kinda feel it balances out somewhere along the line.

Dinner tonight is a chicken breast wrapped in bacon, which registers four oranges and a green. If I'm not dead by the next time I go to Sainsbury's, I'm definitely going to make it my lifes work to seek out something that's got a completely red wheel. That would be off-the-scale-awesome...

8 comments:

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Oh no! WV is 'smenita' - last time this cropped up there was Hell and all to pay.

Similarly so with that chocolate. In a moment of weakness, I purchased one of those truffle bars, luckliy it was so disgusting that I only managed about 4 chunks. Managed to hold down the chunks afterwards, as well...


Grrr... second time lucky?

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Yay! It worked. Smenita's still hanging around, but I vanquished it! It's the WV for this one too. Here goes...

Tim said...

What have you done to anger the WV gods?

And you didn't like the truffle bar? I thought it was awesome. In fact, I had to restrain myself from scoffing it down like that fat little German kid in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

(Was he German? I forget...)

Tara said...

It's like they're saying "You're about to buy something tasty, so we're going to suck the enjoyment out of it." Nothing like a big red circle on a piece of chocolate. Might as well be a "Stop" sign.

Tim said...

Exactly... Except it has the exact opposite effect on me!

Like a bull to a red rag! Muwahahahaha!!

Dinah said...

That's like a perpetual old person frowning at you! Try finding lobster stuffed with tacos, I wonder what that would rate.

T-Bird said...

Chicken wrapped in bacon? Ever tried making a little slit in the chicken breast, sliding a wedge of brie in there and then wrapping it in bacon/prosciutto?

Solid gold.

Tim said...

Dinah - You're SO right! And that old person is wagging their finger at you and tutting. Tut!

Lobster stuffed with tacos? Blimey - I think they'd need to invent a whole new chart!

T-Bird - Why that sounds splendid! On the downside, that would require me to do some prep work rather than just slam a silver tray in the oven!