Saturday, January 27, 2007

A little groan of appreciation

Having moaned incessently about the state of my hair recently, I actually booked an appointment the other day. I say booked, because it's been about seven years since I've been to an old-school walk-in barbers for a haircut; quite frankly I got a bit fed up with them only using an electric razor to cut my hair, and they'd always leave this big clump on top that made it look like I was wearing a toupee. OK, so I might pay a little bit more to get my hair done in a salon, but it's full of hotties so I'll cope.

Anyway, so I booked an appointment for next Sunday, but during the week they called me up and asked me if I could come in today. Hell yeah, I replied, quitely thanking the gods of Toni and Guy because my hair has really been looking pretty cack recently. And then today, about two hours before my appointment while I'm walking around Kingston shopping centre they call me up again and tell me the sooner I can get there the better because they've got some spare time; they'd clearly caught sight of me on the centre security cameras and realised I was in the midst of a hair-mergency. I could be wrong, but I reckon sirens probably rang somewhere.

The thing I really like about getting my haircut is the preliminary shampoo and conditioner stage. There's something slightly orgasmic about having someone else shampoo your hair, and ohmygod-that-bit- where-they-massage-your-scalp-is-worth-the-price-of-admission-on- it's-own. Several times I've almost drifted off to sleep while they're working the shampoo in. I think I enjoy it a little bit too much, to be honest, because I've gotten quite close to letting out a little groan of appreciation on several occasions. Not a squeal; a proper man-groan.

I'm not quite sure how that would go down with the shampoo lady, though. Even I would admit that it's not the most obvious noise to make mid-'poo, but on the flip reverse maybe she'd view it as it's intended – a sign of extreme appreciation.

"How's that for you?"

"Uuuuuurrr…"

"Jolly good!"

Shampoo over and I settled into the chair of hair destiny.

"What are we doing?" said my regular hairdresser, spinning her scissors like a cowboy spins a six-shooter.

"Short, scruffy, and awesome." I replied.

And short, scruffy, and awesome is what I got.

Uuuuuuurrrrrr…

-----

While walking around Kingston I encountered a ghost from the past - my old geography teacher - although we didn't acknowledge each other. You see, in my first year of sixth form, this guy, who had previously taught me for about four years, lied to me to get me to sign up to the geography A-level. Upon finding out about his deception I subsequently ditched the course, and he subsequently went on to blank me for the remaining two years I was there. Which is, I think you'll agree, very mature behaviour for a teacher.

And in an equally mature fashion I delighted in greeting him at every possible turn throughout those two years with a broad grin and a full-on "WHY HELLO MR-"

I almost did it today for shits and giggles.

-----

You can't see this, thankfully, but I'm super-blushing right now (and I don't have sufficient hair to hide behind now). The reason?

Tara has nominated this 'Tim Appreciation Day!' Bless 'er cotton socks!

I don't know what I've done to have such an honour bestowed upon me, but I'm very grateful. In fact, it's the topping on what's been quite an amazing couple of days.

So, by way of thanks, I'm going to show my appreciation in the only way I know how:

Uuuuuuuuurrrr…!

14 comments:

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ha Ha! First! In fact, I might do a Man-groan myself: Uuuuuuuuuuurrrr...

That 'pooing really is special, isn't it? Even when a girl does it I have to concentrate to stop my foot wiggling like an excited puppy!

Tim said...

A celebratory man-groan - hurrah!

The 'pooing is special - in fact, I've often thought about booking an appointment, going in there for the shampoo, and then saying something along the lines of "yeeeeah, I think that'll do me actually..."

They might think it would be a bit weird, but, y'know, whatever!

You don't whimper like a puppy, do you?

Tara said...

I know what you mean about the shampooing! If there was a salon that did just that and someone also standing by to simply brush my hair without cutting it, I'd be there all the time. It's an amazing feeling. It's weird that when we shampoo or brush our own hair, it's definitely not the same.

You've earned your day because you've got a cool blog and you've commented on my blog before. So there. :)

Dinah said...

My sister used to go in for shampooing only when she broke her arm and couldn't get the cast wet. It was only temporary, but still. I think that's the thing I miss most about getting my hair cut in places that don't shampoo it.

I tend toward Mmmmmmmmmm.

Also: congrats!

And: There's a Toni and Guy just down the street from me. What a small world.

T-Bird said...

I love Toni and Guy. We have them here too - and they are always the best. They serve awesome coffee too!

I *love* getting my hair shampoo-ed. Have you guys ever got a proper scalp massage before? Oh. My. Goodness. Absolute groanalicious goodness. They get onto all your pressure points.

I think I might have to give a man-groan out myself:

Uuuuuuuuuuuuur!

Oh, and how adorable is that fox one post down! We saw some at the zoo the other day. All the foreign tourists were all 'oooh' and 'ahhhh' over the koalas, but we were all about the non native cuties! Did you know koalas spread STDs amongst each other? They are whores and they love it!

Tim said...

Tara - I think there's a business idea in that 'shampoo bar' idea! The world would be a much better place if everyone just settled down for a nice shampoo, I reckon!

And thanks again - it's very kind of you to say so!! (I'm blushing again!)

Dinah - Now, did you sister BREAK HER ARM ON PURPOSE?! Because a quality shampoo might just be worth it...!

There are Toni and Guys in Canadialand?! Gosh! They're everywhere!! My allegiance is actually to the ladty who cuts my hair, and I've often thought if she leaves I'll have to find out where she's going!

T-Bird - IS BACK FROM HER TRIP TO SYYYYYYYYD-NEEEEEEEEEY!

i've never tried their coffee - I think I'm worried there might be hair in it...

I've never had a scalp massage, but I'd definitely think about getting one. I'd have to tape my mouth shut though, in case they thought I was a pervert or something.

Did we send you foxes too? Hmmm... possibly to help with that little rabbit problem we inflicted on you, hey? That one was particularly cool - I could've quite happily taken him home as a pet.

I've heard before about koalas having STDs... That's just wrong. They are the Paris Hiltons of the eucalyptus trees! The slutty firecrotches - muwahahahahaha!!!

skillz said...

I think I'm missing out as I only ever go to old school barbers.

Do Toni & Guy hairdressers whip out the cut-throat razor at the end?

Tim said...

No, they don't, but if you're really lucky you might get a boob graze across the back of your head.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I had a 50 year old nipple jab me in the arm at work on Friday.

* shudder *

Luckily it was contained behind layers of clothing.

* phew *


As for the whimpering thing - I would if Connor was to be my shampooer!

Tim said...

Well... it was a cold day!

I'm sure Conner would shampoo if you asked him nicely. It's not like he's got a warp engine to tend to these days!

T-Bird said...

Oh, dear. My Dad only goes to lady hairdressers for the potential boob graze. And yes, he shares this information freely.

Oh, the power of fun bags.

Tim said...

Your dad's a dude!

T-Bird said...

Yeah, but sometimes I blame him for my propensity to share unwanted information... don't get me started on his take on the turtles at the zoo!

Tim said...

Now I want to hear the turtle story!