Lunch

We were supposed to have a company lunch today, but it was postponed. Which was a good thing, because I'm STILL feeling a bit rough, so I decided to wander down to Hammersmith, grab a coffee in Starbucks, and swing by Sainsburys to buy some Lemsip. The thing is, because I thought we were having a company lunch I decided to leave my iPod at home, which meant I had to walk to Hammersmith listening to the midday soundtrack of West London, and by 'soundtrack of West London' I mean police sirens, roadworks, and crazy people.

There's one resident crazy person who always stumbles towards me with her crazy person eyes, wonky teeth, and shocking afro with weird bits in asking for a cigarette (to be honest, if she explored her 'fro she'd probably find 20 Marlboro lights and a box of matches). I'd tell her I don't smoke, but I think it's something primal within her - an animal instinct. It would be like politely asking a dog not to shat on the carpet. Awesomely, however, that did not stop some woman lecturing her in the middle of the high street. The only snippet I heard coming from the dumpy middle-aged lecturee was "I know life is tough but we must all just press on!"

Press on indeed.

So I went to Sainsburys and picked up some Lemsip MAX STRENGTH and some butter to put on my bagel. Then I walked upto the till. Now, I know till monkeys aren't necessarily the most clued up people on the planet, but this one looked at me, and said in the most cheerful voice ever "alright, how are you today?"

Now, the sheer fact that I was buying MAX STRENGTH Lemsip probably should've given the game away. I felt like picking up the box, rattling it in his face, and saying "how the hell do you think I'm feeling, you donkey?"

But instead I just said "not bad." Which was unenthusiastic, and a lie - but hey, at least I didn't need to engage him in unnecessary conversation! I hate it when random shop assistants talk to you like you're their best mate. I feel like putting my hand over their mouths and saying something along the lines of "shush until I speak to you, OK?" But I never do; I just answer politely, because I was brought up proper.

(A sports hall assistant tried talking to me like we were old war buddies on Friday when I went to play Badminton. "How are you? Good? Good!" He was emo-ish as well, so he was actually giving me two good reasons to slap him. I didn't... but just wait until NEXT TIME...!)

So, all that aside, I was thinking about the missed lunch. We always go to a pub round the corner from the office - a gastro-pub, if you will. Which just means that they charge twice as much, give you half as much, and take twice as long to serve it as a regular pub. And a couple of years back a test in the Daily Mail found that their ice was contaminated with - get this - wee. They always look at me funny when we go in there and I ask for a "coke - WITH NO ICE!!!!"

All in all, it must be said that I think I was more in the mood for my wander rather than a company lunch; I enjoyed my Lemsip MAX STRENGTH more than I think I would've enjoyed a wee-tainted coke, even if it is only a placebo effect that is giving me this temporary high. And I'd probably be feeling slightly better if I'd had my iPod, because quite frankly at the moment I think it's only coffee and Panic! At the Disco that's keeping me going...