Monday, January 22, 2007


We were supposed to have a company lunch today, but it was postponed. Which was a good thing, because I'm STILL feeling a bit rough, so I decided to wander down to Hammersmith, grab a coffee in Starbucks, and swing by Sainsburys to buy some Lemsip. The thing is, because I thought we were having a company lunch I decided to leave my iPod at home, which meant I had to walk to Hammersmith listening to the midday soundtrack of West London, and by 'soundtrack of West London' I mean police sirens, roadworks, and crazy people.

There's one resident crazy person who always stumbles towards me with her crazy person eyes, wonky teeth, and shocking afro with weird bits in asking for a cigarette (to be honest, if she explored her 'fro she'd probably find 20 Marlboro lights and a box of matches). I'd tell her I don't smoke, but I think it's something primal within her - an animal instinct. It would be like politely asking a dog not to shat on the carpet. Awesomely, however, that did not stop some woman lecturing her in the middle of the high street. The only snippet I heard coming from the dumpy middle-aged lecturee was "I know life is tough but we must all just press on!"

Press on indeed.

So I went to Sainsburys and picked up some Lemsip MAX STRENGTH and some butter to put on my bagel. Then I walked upto the till. Now, I know till monkeys aren't necessarily the most clued up people on the planet, but this one looked at me, and said in the most cheerful voice ever "alright, how are you today?"

Now, the sheer fact that I was buying MAX STRENGTH Lemsip probably should've given the game away. I felt like picking up the box, rattling it in his face, and saying "how the hell do you think I'm feeling, you donkey?"

But instead I just said "not bad." Which was unenthusiastic, and a lie - but hey, at least I didn't need to engage him in unnecessary conversation! I hate it when random shop assistants talk to you like you're their best mate. I feel like putting my hand over their mouths and saying something along the lines of "shush until I speak to you, OK?" But I never do; I just answer politely, because I was brought up proper.

(A sports hall assistant tried talking to me like we were old war buddies on Friday when I went to play Badminton. "How are you? Good? Good!" He was emo-ish as well, so he was actually giving me two good reasons to slap him. I didn't... but just wait until NEXT TIME...!)

So, all that aside, I was thinking about the missed lunch. We always go to a pub round the corner from the office - a gastro-pub, if you will. Which just means that they charge twice as much, give you half as much, and take twice as long to serve it as a regular pub. And a couple of years back a test in the Daily Mail found that their ice was contaminated with - get this - wee. They always look at me funny when we go in there and I ask for a "coke - WITH NO ICE!!!!"

All in all, it must be said that I think I was more in the mood for my wander rather than a company lunch; I enjoyed my Lemsip MAX STRENGTH more than I think I would've enjoyed a wee-tainted coke, even if it is only a placebo effect that is giving me this temporary high. And I'd probably be feeling slightly better if I'd had my iPod, because quite frankly at the moment I think it's only coffee and Panic! At the Disco that's keeping me going...


T-Bird said...


Hopefully no one will beat me while I waffle on here.

Hehehehe. I can see a Carry On style retribution with emo boy at badminton.... just aim your projectile into his eye.

Hope you feel better! Colds are the worst.

Tim said...

Yes, emo boy will definitely get his just desserts if he tries to engage me in conversation again!

The Lemsip MAX STRENGTH seems to doing a little good... fingers crossed I can finally ditch the man-flu!!

T-Bird said...

How does man flu differ from the regular kind? Does it only attack males? Or is it a manly flu that has a really rumbly voice and stubble?

Lemsip is the best invention EVER!

Tim said...

I think the general definition of man flu is that it's a mild case of the common cold, but we act like we're on our death-bed.

In which case I've got a full-on case of girly flu (and by girly flu I mean 'I'm really ill but I'm pushing on with everyday life regardless!')

Lemsip is great. Shame you're only allowed to drink it once every four hours...

Will said...

That Panic! At the Disco exclamation mark really messes up sentences.

Tara said...

I don't think we have Lemsip here, but I take it that it's headach meds or cough syrup or something like that? If you had a cough, you could've coughed in the guy's face when he asked you how you're doing. No words would've been necessary. That's mean, though. >:)

We have a potluck lunch at work today, where everyone brings in something they either made or bought at the store. It's a luncheon baby shower for a mother-to-be.

Feel better soon!

Dinah said...

I'm also wondering what lemsip is. Is it like Neocitron?

Tim said...

Will - I was disturbed by the exclamation mark at first, but I've grown to love it. Embrace the exclamation mark!

Tara - Lemsip comes in a variety of forms, such as pills and little packets of stuff you knock back in one, but my favourite variety is the one where you add it to hot water to make a lemony drink. It's not actually that vile!

A potluck lunch? I'm not convinced that's an idea I'd want to embrace... I'd worry that someone would've forgotten about it and just grabbed some out-of-date leftovers as they ran out the house in the morning!

Dinah - No Nandos? No Lemsip? If we hit three things Canadialand doesn't have I'm going to have to ship supplies to you!

Tim said...

And what's Neocitron? It sounds like a futuristic car.