Monday, January 29, 2007

Social niceties

Reaching for something you've already put in the wash can be a dangerous thing. For example, before heading over to Sweatband's for a run I decided to dig a hoody out of the washing machine rather than pull a fresh one from the wardrobe. On the drive there, I suddenly realised that things in the washing machine can get inexplicably mixed up.

What would be the chances, I wondered, of a pair of worn undercrackers getting snagged in the hood?

This is not a question I ask myself on a regular basis, but it is one of those things that once you've thought about it for even a brief instant you're suddenly convinced could actually happen. And then, of course, you have the mental image of pulling off the hoody, and watching as a pair of pants fall to the floor.

However you play it, I'm not sure there's a good honest way of explaining that one away without at the very least succumbing to a little bit of embarrasment.

I think the nearest I can get to a good excuse would be by exclaiming with mock surprise "Ooo! How did THEY get there?" Before scooping them up, dabbing my forehead with them, and adding "it has been a tad mild today, hasn't it?"

It's either that or just pick them up and both pretend nothing untoward happened.

It's funny how the mind can play tricks when you get an inane thought, hey?

Fortunately it didn't happen!

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I sent a couple of mates in Skillz's direction today to check out his awesome monkey post. And what do I get back? An email from comics pal Graham:

"I don't think I've ever seen your stomach, but why have you had a monkey tattoo'd on it?"

I replied:

"I have not had a monkey tattoo'd on my stomach, and I'm offended you think that's me; my stomach is far more toned than that."

Harumph!

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Thank god Celebrity Big Brother has finished. I'd been watching too much of Big Mouth, and had begun to assume Russell Brand-esque habits. Several people have noted my exaggerated physical gestures, excessive use of the words "SWINE!" and constant demands for attention by shouting "LADS! Come an' have a look at this!"

For those unfamiliar with Russell Brand, take a look at this.


Fortunately, I have yet to stand in the office and shout "I pulled down my trousers and pants…!"

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I love Family Guy. And I think we all know I love Star Trek. In the words of Russell Brand - regarde!

9 comments:

Dinah said...

I just saw that episode last night! I love Rupert.

Tim said...

Bah! I'll have to wait for the DVDs over here!!! We're soooooooo faaaaaaaaaar beeeeehhhhiiiiiinnnnnddd!!

Dora said...

There is no easy way to pick up underwear off the floor after it has fallen out of something. Even if no-one is there, someone sees it and it becomes all uncomfortable.

I should know having had that experience before.

Not good.

Tim said...

Ooo, Dora, do tell us you underwear shocker!

Tara said...

You could always treat it like a magic trick. "Look, I pulled undies out of my sleeve! Ta da!"

So far I haven't had the opportunity of pulling undies out of any hoody of mine. Sadly, on a side note, I spilled bleech on my favorite blue hoody, so I won't be wearing that out anywhere.

Anyway, I digress. I have had dryer sheets stuck in my sleeves before, so people have seen me pull those out of my sweaters and such.

Tim said...

I'll remember that for if it actually does happen, Tara - because now I've thought of it, I'll probably be a little bit paranoid that it could happen at some point!!!

I sympathize with you about your blue hoody - it's the worst thing EVAH when a favourite item of clothing gets ruined. I sometimes think I should buy two of everything just in case...!

skillz said...

Russel Brand looks like a giant walking pubic louse and talks like Robin Williams did back in his coke-fuelled days.

But that's what makes him funny.

Tim said...

And he's got a filthy sense of humour, the SWINE!

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