Thursday, January 11, 2007

Fashion, turn to the left…

…Fashion, turn to the right, Oooooooo - FASHION!

Said David Bowie. And as they say on Battlestar Galactica: "SO SAY WE ALL!"

I'm a tad perplexed by fashion these days, I must say. In years gone by I've veered from doing my utmost to adhere to the latest fashion, to sticking to established classics regardless of what everyone else is donning - white t-shirts never go out of style, right?

But now I seem to be willfully disregarding what the media tells me I should be wearing, mainly because I consider 'this season's trends' to be, well, a little bit dorky. That either says something about my particular style (which I seem to have settled into nicely, and may, I'm beginning to wonder, be my dress-code for life from here on in), or that I'm getting old; I'm not sure which is more worrying...

One of the latest trends is, as I'm sure you've noticed, the emo-look (not the little red giggly thing from Sesame Street, I hasten to add). Walk down any high street and the vast majority of men's retailers seem to be pushing the same sort of emo-uniform consisting of sprayed-on jeans and a form of rank cardigan I wouldn't even consider wearing when I'm drawing my pension. As for the spray-on jeans, well, how difficult would they be to pull on in the dark at seven o'clock in the morning when you're rushing to get out the door? Not very, I suspect.

In addition to that, I don't think I've got the figure for skinny jeans; it's not that I'm fat - on the contrary, years of gymming and, of course, the lasting effects of last year's running have given me rather, um, defined thighs that would just look plain weird in skin-tight denim. To quote my favourite line from Serenity: "My muscular buttocks."

(I don't think I'd feel particularly comfortable about every passing stranger making a mental note of 'which side I dress to' either)

So no, fashion retailers of the British high street, I shall not be succumbing to your dictated trends this year. And if my regular uniform of comfortably-fitted, ever-so-slighty baggy jeans matched with a witty-sloganed t-shirt offend you, so be it!

11 comments:

Dinah said...

Ooh! Defined thighs!

Tara said...

I don't even know what style "Emo" is. I've heard the name, but have never bothered to look it up. My 19 year old nephew swears on his Myspace profile that he is "not f***ing emo". Good to know.

The only thing I'm vaguely aware of is when long hair is in, or short hair...straight hair or curly hair. Either way I don't care. I'll change my hair when I damn well want. Sheesh. ;)

T-Bird said...

I hate new season trends. It's too hot here to be bothered by dressing up.

Also, a huge applause for avoiding the skinny jeans! Emo attire really does not flatter anyone, especially men.

Oh, and the other best Firefly quote? 'I'll be in my bunk.'

Tim said...

Dinah - They're not at their tip-topity definition at the moment due to lack of recent exercise, but they're still.. well, not skinny-jeans ready!

Tara - Emo is ... um, it's kind of sub-Goth, with stripes and mascara, but they're allowed to smile and laugh. I think you're better off not knowing, to be honest. And good on your nephew - this world needs more 19 year olds to stand up and say "I'm not f***ing emo!" I salute him.

And I'm with you on the hair thing - I'll do whatever the hell I want with my hair!

T-Bird - You might hate new season trends, but look at your smashing new picture - V. sophisticated!

Don't worry, I wouldn't go anywhere near skinny jeans - I wouldn't be able to get my keys and wallet in the pockets!

"Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all."

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Goodness! What with Connor still hanging around at mine, and now the thought of your defined thighs squeezed into emo-jeans and a dash of Jayne's muscular buttocks, I think I'm going to have to have a cold shower!

Before I do, however, I'd like to say that I sometimes wonder if the look that old people have these days, i.e. pulled up slacks with shirt tucked in (for men) and small print polyester dress with hideously unmatched cardigan (for women), is what the fashion was back in the days when they reached the age that they a) settled into, or b) realised they were old.
I realise that's a very long sentence and I did think about breaking it up a bit but then thought: Bugger it. I like it that way!

Yahboohiss to Emo!

Tim said...

Geez - is Conner still round yours? Good grief!!

BTW, I met Conner once for all of about two minutes - lovely chap, must be said.

I agree with your theory of clothing, which makes me wonder if I'll still be wearing a hoody and wittily-slogganed t-shirts when I'm 70. Or does there come a time when shops won't sell you anything but tweed coats and slacks? Interesting...

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I bet that when we're 70, the yoof of the day will be wearing the tweed coats and slacks and taking the piss out of us old gits in our fashionless attire from yesteryear.

Oh, hang on. Why am I even talking to you? Not that I'm jealous that you've shared a moment with Mr Trinneer, or anything...

* strops off seething with jealousy and spitting bile everywhere "oops, just dissolved the sideboard..." *

Tim said...

Yeah, and we'll desperately be shouting "We're cool! We're hip!"

And if it's any consolation it wasn't a long moment with Mr Trinneer! I basically asked him how he was finding Britland, recommended some places for him to visit (if I'd known you then I would've suggested your house), and spoke to him about filming his last scenes.

That said, my boss knows the lady who was organising his convention appearances...

T-Bird said...

Re: slipping into comfy versions of fashions. Ever seen older women with makeup that is dated back to either the 50's through to the 70's? That's because they are harkening back to the days that they felt the most attractive and comfortable with themselves.

Nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself. I think not conforming to everyday slavish standards means that you have matured past the point of caring what teenagers do to be cool.

Also, this theory must lead to the conclusion that in 50 years time there will be a shitload of pensioners in skinny jeans and crappy cardigans. And thus the circle of life continues.

skillz said...

Follow your own fashion. Anyone can wear anything in London and nobody would bat an eyelid, even that dildo chest harness thing that Dora was talking about.

Tim said...

T-Bird - Are you talking about Amy Winehouse? She looks like a 50's throwback... Seriously though, that's a good point - although it does make me fear for the 70 year-old emos and goths ("I can't put my mascara on - my hands are shaking too much!").

Skillz - I do, and I will continue to do so! Although I'll pass on the chest dildo combo, ta.