Saturday, January 13, 2007

IKEA lovefest 2007

With just over 24 hours to go before the IKEA sale ended, Jo and I hit the store for some last minute AMAZING bargains! Well... we tried, but truth be told the IKEA sale was a bit rubbish - there was nothing that I wanted in the sale, because I've already got a sofa and a bed. And some shelves. And stuff.

But fun nevertheless ensued!

I was once again tempted by the untold beauty of the red LACK, but as reasonable as it is at just £7.99, I can't think why I would need one or where I would put it.

So I just pointed at it a bit.

I also noticed that the toys in IKEA are dirty. Not filthy dirty, pervy dirty. Look - I found two little dogs that were connected top 'n tails for some unknown reason!

They were at it on the floor as well!

And just don't get me started on the polar bears...

So did I buy anything? Hell yeah! I got a little clip-top glass container to put sugar in, and two new pillows. So in IKEA-talk that would be a SLOM and two GOSA BLINKAS then.


Today's been a rather lovely day actually; very relaxing. Watched the DVD of the Foo Fighters' Hyde Park gig I went to last year, and played a little Xbox.

Somebody shot up my Enterprise.

Drove Darth Vader around a starship in a little white truck.


Tara said...

You can never trust those polar bears to possess a shred of decency, I'll tell ya.

I don't have an IKEA near me, but I went to one with my mom and sister-in-law in Arizona one time. There was a mariachi band there playing while we looked at cool stuff. I want them to build an IKEA here.

Dinah said...

If I ever live in more than a room, I'm tempted to build the whole decor around the LACK.

Those polar bears are so naughty! THEY ARE SLUTS AND I LOVE IT!

T-Bird said...

He hee! Dinah said sluts!

Nice to see that the highbrow entertainment of making plush toys do rude things is something not exlcusive to us convicts here in the antipodes.

Damn, as soon as I clear my credit card, I am going to have to axe it up again with the Xbox. I think I have to get my own place before that, though, so no one passes judgement on how much time I intend to spend on it, making Darth Vader to rude lego things.

Tim said...

Tara - I know! Just because they blend into the snow they think no one can see them! And it's not as if some unscrupulous fellow actually put them in that position, oh no. Really.

OK, maybe I did.

I'm aghast at the lack of an IKEA near you! You should petition them! It's such a cool place - and you can buy great stuff there too!

Dinah - Ooo, you totally should. A LACK room would be possibly the most awesome thing ever. You could put it in a central location, or on another, less deserving table, and worship it!

And the bears are SLUTS! (I wonder if there's something in IKEA called SLUT?)

T-Bird - What else is there to do with plush toys!?

You MUST X it up with an Axebox - they're awesome!! You can also make Darth wear Leia's metal bikini from Return of the Jedi - chalk that up on my list of things I never thought I'd see!!

Spider Girl said...

Every time I hear they are building a another "big box" store in my home town I cross my fingers and hope that at least it's going to be IKEA. Because IKEA is very,very cool.

But it never is. *sigh*

Tim said...

I know what you mean Spider Girl, I have to go a fair few miles out of my way to get to an IKEA... though I've heard a rumour that one is being built - get this! - less than three miles from my house!! I'm hoping it's true...

I'm so grateful to IKEA - without it all my books, t-shirts and undercrackers would just be stacked on the floor.

Ryan said...

I'm always scared to have sex on Ikea furniture. I mean, I made it myself.

Tim said...

There are three responses to that, Ryan:

1. Have faith in your skills as the builder of flat-packed furniture.

2. Have faith in the IKEA designers to have designed something that is structurally sound even when constructed by someone who does not have faith in their skills as the builder of flat-packed furniture.

3. Do it on the floor.

T-Bird said...

I think it's a given that IKEA furniture isn't meant to support the more adult... of pasttimes. I mean, most of my stuff is held together by just - if you believe the assembly instructions - 'CLICK'!!!

I do love IKEA - the Allen keys do a really good screw....

Dora said...

My love for IKEA bookshelves ended the other day when it fell on me.

It's okay, I wasn't hurt, but the bookshelf was after I kicked it and it's little metal thingies holding the actual shelves on fell out all over the floor.

BUT....I still heart IKEA. It just means I put it together badly.....

lucky I didn't try to have sex on them. Because for one thing it would have been very weird.

Tim said...

T-Bird - D'ya know, I'm going to ask them that next time I go to IKEA.

"Excuse me Mister IKEA-employee? Yes, you. Now, do tell me - is this bedstead suitable for the more vigorous of nightly activities? You're not certain? Well is there someone more senior you could ask?"

I'm swamped by those IKEA allen keys. Maybe I should construct a piece of modern art out of them!?

Dora - Ohmygod - your bookshelf lunged at you?! Maybe it was jealous that you don't use it for sex. Or maybe it's attracted to you and made an impromptu advance. You should totally accuse it of sexual harressment.

T-Bird said...

I suggest you create a giant sculpture of a fertility god with your Allen keys. And GET A RED LACK to display it on!

That TOTALLY sounds like something Kirk would do......

Tim said...

Ohmygod! You just said the words "something Kirk would do" - how the hell can I not do that now?!

Then I can Kirk-chop it!

T-Bird said...

And then blog about it? Cause, you know, Kirk would totally do that. Of course, he'd hook into some green chicks as well, so until space exploration locates that planet, you'll have to be content with GETTING THE RED LACK AND CHOPPING IT KIRK STYLE.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I am tota;;y ready for seeing some Lack chopping, Kirk stylee, action!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

How ready? Ready enough to swap 'l's for ';'s - That's how ready!

Tim said...

T-Bird - I've blogged about it!! You totally predicted my latest post!

Inexplicable Device - Whoa! Someone's been messing with the keys on your computer and swapping 'em around!