Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Pledge your allegiance!

OK, let's get this out of the way early on: I do not like football.

And by do not like, I generally mean I'll pretty much do anything to get out of watching it, or playing it. In fact, when I was at school, I managed to wangle my way out of football and into netball for P.E. The added bonus of that was that I was the only boy in a class full of hot sweaty girls in flourescent bibs.

(The phrase 'pig in shit' comes to mind. Oh, and I was pretty good at netball; throwing the ball at the opponents faces made me and my girls an all-conquering combo, unbeaten in the '94-'95 school league)

Anyway, I digress. So, as a football-hating veteran netball champion, you'd pretty much expect me to be dreading the next month or so as the country goes World Cup crazy. But that's not so! In fact, bring it on, I say. BRING. IT. ON. The reason I say this is that, to be honest, life gets a little easier. The roads are empty, the shops are empty, the gym is empty... everything is pretty much empty. Except the pubs, but seeing as I don't drink anymore that's a small price to pay.

I could pretty much walk the streets naked if I wanted to.

But I realized today that I shouldn't alienate myself totally from the World Cup. So I've decided to support Togo.

Who!?

Togo.

WHO?!

TOGO! Geez!

I like the idea of putting my hand on my heart and pledging allegiance to my Togo-go-go-an brethren as they take on the big guns in pursuit of World Cup glory.

Look - I even fashioned a rudimentary Togo-go flag and attached it to my desk fan at work!


Yes, there's a little corner of Togo in deepest, darkest Hammersmith.

Tomorrow I might even pop down to JD Sports and try to buy a team shirt.

So what I'm, basically saying is: who's with me!?

C'mon! Together we can do it - TOGETHER WE CAN WIN! Here's the Togo-go national anthem – download it, learn it, sing it loud, sing it proud! It's coming home, it's coming home - football is coming home - to Togo! We want the World Cup, and we want it TO GO!




(In other news, we found a tortoise in the garden at work today - how odd is that?)

5 comments:

M said...

As english footy fans have the "Three Lions" song and England shirt combo, and we know Togo-a-go-go have their national anthem, but do they have a national animal we can revere in song?

Something like:

"Three tortoise's on a shirt,
Sparky Malarky's still dreaming
Emmanuel Ad-ebay-or plays for Arsenal
These lyrics have no meaning..."

COME ON!

Tim said...

My god man you have far too much time on your hands!

Ryan said...

Togo? The US, at least, has to beat to Togo, right? RIGHT?!? Oh God, I don't wanna open my eyes.

Tim said...

Get with Togo, that's where it's all at!

This is gonna be the World Cup version of Cool Runnings - mark my words!!! They'll be movies about this... and a t-shirt...!

(And I know I'm not the world's foremost authority on footie, but didn't the US do OK at the last World Cup? Seriously, I think there were goals and everything!)

M said...

I imagine when they play their games, the whole U.S. squad will run onto the pitch (not just the 11 players; manager, coaches, physios, the lot), and stay there for 2-3 days rather than the usual 90 minutes, occasionally beating up the Togans (who they've made kneel in the 6 yard box with one of the goal nets over their heads), and then score 6 own goals to 'gift' the win to the Togans, though everyone back in the Good 'ol US of A really knows THEY won...