Thursday, June 29, 2006

It's all about the 'fro

Often times when Yaz and I meet for coffee we discuss things of great importance; current affairs, art, politics, etc.

And then there are times, like today, where we discuss things like afros.

Y'see, I was telling Yaz all about last night's Muse gig, and she happened to ask if I'd seen any lookey-likeys in the crowd. Of course, I remembered, I had! First of all there was the guy who looked like Saheed from Lost, although apart from being a little wobbly due in part, I expect, to drink, he looked like he knew exactly where he was. And then there was the guy who looked *JUST* like Crab Man from My Name is Earl.

Now I'm a big fan of My Name is Earl, as is my brother Simon. He often shouts "hey Crab Man" to me in public, which in hindsight sort of suggests I've got some kind of, erm, infection. I must ask him to stop that...

Anyway, so I saw this dude who was the spitting image of Crab Man at Muse, complete with the massive 'fro, and I just happened to mention to Simon about the tactile delights of a quality 'fro. His response was pretty much "weirdo." But hey, I don't care! Have you ever been privilaged enough to touch a quality 'fro?

I have.

Yaz is right with me on this. We used to work with a guy who I'll call El Deanio, who was quite frankly one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life; so amazing in fact that Yaz once had to lock him in the office kitchen for two hours (but that's a different story altogether; as is the video footage I have of him simulating a sexual act on a small teddy bear). El Deanio had a pretty wicked 'fro at one point, and I'm not ashamed to say that as a hetrosexual male I did enjoy a little hand on 'fro action whenever the opportunity arose. It's like nothing else on Earth - to hell with your squeezy stress balls and your expensive executive toys - the 'fro is one of the best forms of stress relief in the world!

I was sorely tempted to ask Shepherds Bush Crab Man if I could test drive his 'fro, but then the band kicked in and, y'know...

So next time you see a Crab Man or a Macy Gray, I urge you to just give it a quick feel. OK, chances are you might get a slap if you don't ask first, but I'm sure it'll be worth it.

Hmmm… I wonder if I could grow one…? It'd go marvellously with my new Chris Wolstenholme-style handlebar moustache.


M said...

A 'fro and a handlebar moustach?

You'd be like a white Julius from Pulp Fiction.

'Though the thought of running my hands through another mans hair (afro or otherwise) does make me feel queesy, the Deanosaur did have a might fine 'fro at one time...

Tim said...

A 'fro and a handlebar moustache... I should start pimpin'!