Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Everything's going KITT

T-Minus five days to the 10k run, and I've hit upon a new strategy.

I am going to base my performance on KITT.

Yes, KITT - from Knight Rider. (I really don't think Eartha Kitt would be a suitable role model)

Thus I have formulated the following strategy:

As you will see, this is a replica of KITT's control panel, containing all of the necessary functions I'll need to see me through the run.

They are as follows:

• Central button - and central to my goal – is to complete the course in normal cruise mode, i.e. without undue stress or fatigue. However, due to unforeseen environmental conditions, this may not be possible, so I have prepared additional functions to aid me.

Lefthand column, from the top down:

• Air - a pivotal part of my attempt; monitoring of the air intake will prove essential throughout.
• Oil - it might be sunny, so I should whack on some quality SPF cream.
• Jump - to avoid fallen competitors, wonky pavement, and doggy turds.
• Turbo – for the final straight when the adrenaline kicks in massive-stylee.

Righthand column, from the top down:

• Silent - I'll be trying my best not to gasp like the sweaty mouth-breather I've been in the past.
• Flame - If another competitor is getting on my tits, they'll feel my wrath.
• Traction – very important! I don't want to be slip-sliding all over the place.
• Die - quite a distinct possibility.

I might also attach a red strobe-light to my top, depending on how I feel on the day.

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