Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Josh Pyke at the Borderline: AKA "three quid for a f*ckin' diet coke!?"

"I may be smiling, but I'm actually a teeny bit angry," said Yaz to the waitress. "You're kind of spoiling my peri-peri experience.

And thus began events leading up to out first gig of 2007 - Josh Pyke at the Borderline!

Reuniting the good times gig duo of, well, me and Yaz, we headed to Nandos for some pre-gig spicy chicken. Obviously things went slightly awry, and Yaz basically got into a … let's say 'a discussion' with the waitress (who looked a little like Ugly Betty) about a little bit of over-pricing. Eventually she got some money back, downed her by this time cold chicken, and we were off!

A short tube journey later and we were wandering down Charing Cross Road in search of the Borderline. Bearing in mind that neither of us had been there before we looked like two simple tourists walking along in search of Manette Street, me holding a small piece of paper with some directions on that just said "two minutes from the tube station." Yes, but where?! Eventually we found it - right next to Foyles bookshop. Why didn't they just write "next to Foyles bookshop," I asked, throwing my arms up in the air (not literally).

But what a cool little venue it is!

It's subterrainean people!

So we walked in past a decidedly dodgy looking bouncer, and headed downstairs. Awesomely, we found a little breakfast bar-like arrangement about three metres from the stage, so we grabbed a couple of stools and sat there with no intention of budging until Josh left the stage. And while we waited we tried to do TheLondonPaper's crossword, but it made our heads hurt, so we resorted to drawing on the celebrities in the Oscar photos.

After a short while, Yaz decided that she was thirsty and toddled off to get a drink. She returned a short while later visibly perturbed, exclaiming rather loudly that her diet coke cost "three f*ckin' quid." And she continued to shout it throughout the evening. On the plus side, she should thank her lucky stars that I didn't accept her offer of a drink; she'd have to of broken into a tenner!

While we waited for the support act to come on we indulged in our old pastime of people-watching. Obviously the entire place was full of Antipodean-types out to support Josh, and we were highly amused by the chap in front of us, and his utterly pathetic attempts at pulling. Basically everytime a girl stood anywhere near him he'd smile at her, turn and smile at his mates, and at their direction he'd turn back to said girl and say "So… where are you from?" "London" was quite a popular answer, and it didn't seem like he had any response to their reply, as if he wasn't quite expecting them to say anything other than "who cares – take me now!" We laughed heartly. Good times.

Anyway, the support act came on. She was a - and I'll be brutally honest here - unusual looking lady by the name of Karima Francis. Unusual looking maybe, but a fascinating voice, and some decent tunes. We kinda liked her. The only downside was that there was some hunch-backed Kirsten Dunst look-alike baggy dancing in front of the stage and shouting over Karima's songs. I swiftly renamed this wench Snaggletooth after the marvelous What Would Tyler Durden Do? website's name for Kirsten Dunst.


On the plus side, Karima picked up on Snaggletooth's actions, and, awesomely, HAD WORDS WITH HER AFTER HER SET! YES!

And then it was time for Josh Pyke. Permit me a moment here to reveal a little part of my sensitive, emotional side here; I got a little shiver as he took to the stage and began playing because I felt a real connection to Dora and T-Bird, who first brought Josh's music to my attention. It was bizarre to think that you two had also seen him play up close, and that I was there on your recommendation. It was a powerful reminder of the bond of our blogger's circle, despite the millions and millions of miles that separate us all. But then I brought my hardcore man-side back to the fore, whooped, clapped, and punched the air.


Josh was great, a throughly good set, beautifully played and brilliant to be up close. Shame Snaggletooth kicked off again, hollering at him between tracks and pointing out how Aussie he was just because he was drinking a can of Fosters. Fortunately, like Karima before him, Josh verbally bitch-slapped her by saying that he hated Fosters and was only drinking it because it was free. He then proceeded to ignore her even when she stood right in front of him and screamed that she'd seen him several times before.

Anyway, he rounded off the set with a fantastic version of Middle of the Hill, and then noted that he couldn't be bothered to leave the stage and then come back for an encore because it was a waste of time, so he just played on through. Quality.


So that was it. A cracking start to the gigging for 2007.

(The evening was slightly ruined when I got home by an unexpected occurance of the Barrys - and super-kudos to anyone not from the UK who can work out what that particular piece of rhyming slang refers to).

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How's about this for a musical handbrake turn? I'm writing this listening to a free frikkin' Dolly Parton CD that came in the paper on Sunday. I've got a bit of a soft spot for Dolly, I must admit; 9 to 5 and Jolene are great songs. And she's got awesome boobies too.

20 comments:

Tara said...

Glad you had such a great time!

I love to people-watch. Last summer at the apartment's pool side, I had the opportunity of watching some shirtless guy try to flirt with a skinny, bikini-clad chick when she was clearly sitting with her boyfriend. Good times! My shades were on, so I could secretly watch it all like a secret agent.

Dolly has a theme park in the US. It's called Dollywood.

Tim said...

I'm a very big fan of time-watching. There's something extremely interesting about human behaviour, and I don't just mean that I'm being nosey. On the other hand, wouldn't it be awful if someone was doing exactly the same at me? Unless they thought I was awesome, of course!

I've heard about Dollywood - though to be honest it does sound like the sort of place where the robots might go crazy and start butchering everyone!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

* bursting with excitement at knowing what The Barrys are *

Did you see that Graham Norton show when he went to Dollywood?
Fabulous!
But a disappointing lack of mechanical madness.

Boo.

Tim said...

I'm thinking that you actually know what the Barrys are, IDV - I suspect you're dropping hints for the other children!

I did see that Graham does Dolly show, and I was also disappointed by the lack of Dollybots. I mean, if they can make boobies like hers, they can certainly make marauding Dollybots.

T-Bird said...

I am so glad you enjoyed the gig! He really is great live, isn't he?

It's amazing that people so far apart can connect over important things! I guess we will all have to keep the recommendations coming, because otherwise I wouldn't even know about people like Sufjan Stevens!

Oh, and right with you guys about Dolly Parton. Great talent and funny to boot!

Now I am off to find out what the Barry means...

Tim said...

I super-enjoyed him, T-Bird! Hell, I even left a comment on his myspace page! And Yaz enjoyed him too. She was surprised at how tall he was, and liked his red shirt.

I now want to see Sufjan this year. I. WANT. TO. SEE. SUFJAN!

I'll be interested to see if you can find out what the Barry's mean. The urban dictionary will probably help.

T-Bird said...

Ok, Barry has a lot of meanings.

Barry Crocker = shocker

Also it means icecream. A penis (a big one). A hot guy with a small penis. And going for a poo.

I'm guessing you meant you had an attack of the Barrys, meaning you wanted an icecream really bad?

Josh is quite tall, isn't he? Do you think he looks a little like the actor who played Rushmore in person?

Oh God, I am so with you on the Sufjan thing, but I think he will tour the UK before he comes out here :(

Tim said...

T-Bird, T-Bird, T-Bird... think outside the box.

Outside. The. Box.

Here's a hint: Famous soul singer of the same name, then let the rhyming slang play!

T-Bird said...

Barry White = shite?

You felt like shite? Or doing one?

Or you got it on with a ladeeeh!

I hope it was the last one!!!!!!!!

Tim said...

How could the evening be slightly ruined by getting it on with a lady?!

Good lord, you were right first time you crazy thaaang! The Barry Whites = shites!

I got the shites!

T-Bird said...

Oh, poor Tim! I was momentarily rejoicing with the thought that at least one of us singleton bloggers had scored! I'm sort of sad now!

I hope Josh didn't give you the shites. Or, was it the peri peri chicken? It's sort of spicey and harsh if you've been sick.

In other news, it's a good cleanse for you.

Right, I have to get up and go to work now. Have a good day/night!

skillz said...

You went down Manette Street and didn't go to the Cro bar?

Disappointed Timbo, that place is *the* pre AND post gig bar.

Tim said...

T-Bird - Ha ha ha! Aft torpedoes - FIRE! No, it wasn't Josh or the peri-peri chicken (although I don't think the latter helped terribly!); I'd had churning guts all day - maybe because I drank TWO actimel that morning rather than the stipulated one.

Oops.

By the way, are you still getting an axe-box? I want fresh meat to blow up.

Skillz - 'Cro bar'?! Is that even a real place?!

First of all, is it some, like, hidden Harry Potter-style bar for wizards? Because I didn't see any bar down Manette Street. Secondly, due to the pre-gig chicken incident and the post-gig Barrys we weren't really ready for any bar action!

Although I promise I will next time. If you send me the secret map to show me where it is.

skillz said...

ok, it's on Manette St, half way down on the right. It's quite small and not obvious, but dude, it rocks! It's a bit of a dive, the mirrors are smashed, stickers everywhere, and only one toilet. It's narrow, pokey, and generally smells a bit.

But it sells big bottles of Budwar, has a good juke box, and it's where the coolest of the cool hang out.

"This isn't faux dive... it's dive!"

Another really cool bar is Bradley's Spanish Bar on Hanway Street (a road opposite Tottenham Ct rd station). Again very pokey, wicked jukebox and COOL DE LA!

T-Bird said...

I am so getting an axebox soon - possibly in a month or so.

But I'll need to practise before you fire your aft torpedos into my hull and compromise my structural integrity.

iPandah said...

My point mainly relates to Cro Bar. Wouldn't it be good if you could start off at a place called Bar Mitzvah, and finish at Club Foot. Well, maybe it would. Maybe I should stay out of this, clearly I'm still suffering from Yakult-induced lunacy.

Tim said...

Skillz - Dude, you're really selling the Cro Bar: it's a smelly dive with smashed mirrors and one toilet. Hmmm… sounds great! Honestly, matey, the sort of bars I like are the ones where you don't wake up the next morning with only one kidney.

The Spanish bar sounds OK though! I might try that out!!

T-Biiiiiird - You cheeky devil! That's the greatest double entendre to grace the comments section in AGES! Honestly, though, I will go so easy on you when you start out. I'll be a super-crappy science vessel or something. The last thing I'd want to do is put you off the game before you even get started. Anyway, it's just rude to blow a lady up.

ipandah - Ha ha ha, that's great! You should definitely open those two entertainment landmarks! What about Club Meoverthehead? Hmmm… on second thoughts…

T-Bird said...

I have learned my double entendre at the groin of the master.

Steve said...

I'm glad to hear that you like Karima. I came across here at the Manchester ITC festival in October. She'd actually only been singing and composing for about 18 months. I don't know if she mentioned it, but she was in the middle of supporting James Morrison and appeared at The Hammersmith Apollo on the following Wednesday.

I think that Karima is a very special talent - and so do others. She's of to do the SXSW festival in Austin in March and a couple of gigs in LA after that.

I had the extreme privilege of being asked by Karima to take photos of her at her first big venue, which was in support of Seth Lakeman at the Shepherds Bush Empire on 20th Feb.

I'm glad to hear that Karima had words with this rowdy audience member - Karima is one of the nicest, most straightforward people that I've come across.

I've put the links throught to my Flibkr page sets on this comment - you can teack down pictures of Karima from there.

Tim said...

Thanks for linking to your pictures Steve - they're great!

I'm certainly going to keep an eye open for Karima again in the future - and will hopefully get to see her without some rowdy drunk woman shouting in front of her. I mean, regardless of whether you like a support act or not, it's only good manners!