Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Let me touch on it again

As we all know by now, it's Valentines day. Hurrah! Did we all get lots of nice cards and wot-not? No, me neither. And this was despite me spending a good 45 minutes hack-sawing a bigger letterbox in the front door last night.

Snubbed - harumph!

The day started a bit weirdly, to be honest. I massively over-gelled my hair this morning, by accident I should note, and have spent the entire day looking like a combination of a complete mentalist and a massively-wired ketamine addict. There's an immediate turn-on for any potential Valentines, particularly if they're looking to score potent horse tranquilisers.

I must say, there was a suitably Valentines-type atmosphere going on at work. No, we didn't indulge ourselves in an orgy of delights beside the water cooler or leave bum-prints on the photocopier; rather, I spent a significant portion of the day zipping through a DVD of 'The City on the Edge of Forever,' Star Trek's most emotionally-charged episode in which Cap'n Kirk tries to get it on with Joan Collins. Captain Kirk forming a lasting relationship with the slutty one from Dynasty? Surely not! Of course not - he takes her out, shows her a good time, then she gets hit by a truck! What a superb conclusion, admittedly not for Joan, but definitely for Kirk who gets to continue his rampant womanising across the vast expanses of space without being tied down to just the one*.

Shall we veer back towards the day at hand? Yes!

So how have I spent this delightful day of romance and bliss. Generally being my usual studly and brooding self, to be honest. But of course the day hasn't ended yet, oh no! Despite the fact that Sweatband told me that Jude had no plans and we could indulge ourselves in a boy's night out, I've decided instead to arrange my stuffed toys on the sofa, crack open the Quality Street and fizzy pop, and settle down for a gala showing of 'Sleepless in Seattle!'

It's either that or wash the gel out of my hair.

One of these two choices will happen, I assure you - good times!


* Please note that I don't condone pushing helpless women under the wheels of a truck at the end of a night on the town. What works for Captain Kirk might not work for you; I say this from experience.

11 comments:

T-Bird said...

Yes, it was a decidedly "Ba Humbug" day for me too. Oh, well. It's back to normal now!

Tim said...

For you, maybe, citizen of the future, but I've still got another 1 hour 56 minutes!

T-Bird said...

It's well and truly ovah now... thank goodness it wasn't too horrific!

Plus, you have a genuinely saucy title up there. It goes way beyond double entendre and into raised eyebrow Roger Moore territory.

Tim said...

It is indeed! Everything is back to normal...

A saucy title? Me? Me using a double entendre?! Well, I suppose if a post demands it, I always like to give it one.

Dora said...

Hey...wait a freakin' second I had a great day...

well...apart from the stacking it old school and almost breaking my elbow (which you can do right? I mean, I don't know for sure, but I'm sure people in the past have broken elbows)it was an alright kind of day. Sorry it sucked so much for you.

That goes for you as well T-Bird...but you did get consolation prize flowers - so it wasn't that bad.

Or was it??????

Tim said...

Hey! It didn't suck for me!! It was just an average day devoid of sweet, sweet lovin'!

As for elbows, well, my bro fell off his bike once and broke his elbow OFF. And he didn't go to hospital for, like, a week because he thought it was getting better. It wasn't - the ball of the elbow was working its way UP HIS ARM TO HIS SHOULDER AND HIS ARM WENT BLACK.

He had to have it pinned. It was gross, and I don't think he'll mind me saying that.

Tara said...

We actually had a snow day on Valentine's Day, so I didn't have to go to work! Instead, I lazed around for a generous portion of the day, then got dressed and went out to get a head start on brushing off my car and digging the snow out from under the tires, helping someone else do the same to their car, and then I took some pictures of the incredibly deep snow and made deformed snow angels.

Tim said...

Lucky Tara! It was chucking it down with rain here!! Did you get photos of the deformed snow angels?

Tara said...

I did get some pictures! I'll post them probably tonight. Stay tuned. :)

Dinah said...

My sister also had a broken elbow. Maybe there's a correlation between siblings of people with broken arms and blogging. Probably to do with attention.

There should be a list of things people can't do but Kirk can get away with.

Tim said...

Or did we push them...

And talking of pushing, top of that list of things that only Kirk can do would be 'pushing Joan Collins under a truck.' However much the rest of us might want to do it, we probably couldn't get away with it.