The young and the restless

About a year or so ago you might remember that I was offered a kitten called Smudge. Ultimately, I turned down the offer of Smudge. Today I got an email from my mate Jo.

"I got a kitten this weekend!" She said.

"Ooo!" I said. "Can I come round and play with it?"

Since Steve/Kitty's abduction I've been sorely lacking in cat-based fun.

Fortunately Jo said "yes." To be honest, though, I would've rocked up even if she'd said "no."

Anyway, the kitten is called Barney, and he's a delightful litte eight-week old bundle of kitteness, with black 'n white fur, blue eyes, and huge pink ears. And he's currently doing that insane thing that kittens do where everything makes them giddy with excitement; he attacked a door while I was there.

Mindful of Dora's current liteny of kitteny problems, I did ask Jo if she's was going to have Barney's balls lopped off, but she said she was undecided on the matter at the present time.

Also visiting Jo was another friend, Clare. Now, Clare had a baby about 18 months back, and I'd not met him yet. To be honest, I was torn between playing with the kitten, and playing with Clare's son. He's at that age where he giggles a lot and is doing that thing were he gets up to walk, and then can't quite slow the momentum he's built up unless he bashes into something. It must be said that I lost some points by telling Clare that her son looked like a monkey - not, you must understand, because he's particularly chimp-like to look at, but because he's also doing that thing where he rolls around in a monkey-like fashion, and swings his legs up in order to get onto the sofa. There are probably very few people on the planet who like their child to be compared to a monkey, though, and Clare, bless 'er, took it very well. Admittedly the little fella was a little apprehensive of me at first, mainly because there I was standing in front of him saying "hello little dude, what's going on!?" and he didn't have a clue who I was. After about half an hour, though, we were getting on like a house on fire; he even gave me his mum's car keys.

As delightful an evening as this was, the only problem with it all is that now I'm back to wanting a kitten, and I'm feeling broody. Damn, the last time I felt like this (broody, not wanting a kitten) was when I was about 18. I just thought I'd make a cracking dad. No doubt that feeling would pass the moment I was confronted with a radioactive nappy. At least with other people's kids you can give them back when they poop or start crying, or become teenagers.

Anyway, if I do find this feeling lasts, I might have to start something like The Apprentice in order to find the unknown mother of my potential future child. Ladies - take a ticket an' get in line!

*wink!*