Perry Perry sauce: Perry Farrell's Satellite Party at the Mean Fiddler

So, big bro Simon and I toddled off up town last night for a gig: Perry Farrell's (yes, he who was formerly of Jane's Addiction) new band Satellite Party.

Now, to be honest I wasn't much looking forward to this gig. I'd not really wanted to go, mainly because I've not really enjoyed Perry's side-projects before, but Simon had a spare ticket and I felt bad for the fact that he'd be out of pocket if no one took it off him, and he'd be going on his own. Having seen Jane's Addiction a few years back (from a considerable distance while hanging from the roof in the Hammersmith Apollo - don't ask…) and loving them, I stumped up the cash and hoped for the best. Plus it was in the Mean Fiddler, which was the location of one of my very favourite gigs (Phantom Planet) two years ago.

Things did not start well.

The support act were The Scare; I usually don't diss bands, because someone, somewhere surely must like them, but I shan't mince words - they were rubbish. So rubbish, in fact, that I refuse to link to their inevitable myspace page because I don't want to sully your ears. Simon even referred to them as "sub-rubbish," which is harsh, but true my friends. HARSH. BUT TRUE. All their songs sounded the same. It's like they sat around one day and said "ooo, I know - we've got long hair and a quirky dress sense, we should be in a band!" Then they scrounged up some guitars while the lead singer, who looked shockingly like Laurence Llewelyn Bowen, practised his Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler impressions in his bedroom mirror. Quite tellingly, the guitarist broke a string towards the end of their set; we couldn't tell any difference.

The evening was redeemed, however, by an jaw-droppingly awesome set by the Satellite Party. They started with a Jane's Addiction song, which gives an indication of where I think this band intends to go; it was like Jane's Addiction v.2.0 - really good, catchy, honest-to-god rock. And Perry (who suddenly reminds me of Ronnie Wood and Keith Richards from the Stones, all sinewy, wiry muscle embued with the very essence of raaaawk!) was on *top* form, leaping around the stage, climbing up to the balcony to shake peoples' hands, and giving a girl in the audience a bottle of wine. And smiling - really, genuinely smiling like he couldn't believe we'd bothered to come along; it was extraordinarily infectious. There was some quality between-songs banter too - particularly when he urged us to "get a frisbee, and take a picnic with a hot chick," then, realizing it rhymed adding that he was "freestylin'," and was going to "call Snoop Dogg and lay that track down." He also made mention of his former "J.A." bandmates, saying that "they can do whatever the f**k they want to do, and we'll do whatever the f**k we want to do, and never the twain shall meet – maybe…" Perhaps that door's not completely closed…?

The rest of the band were awesome too, most notably Nuno Bettencourt ("Nuno!") from Extreme! There was a hilarious moment when Perry mocked him over some half-price cherries he was eating while sitting at the back of a bus; they did a hilarious funky little tune about it, but I s'pose you had to be there…

Perhaps the other most notable member of the band was a hot woman with big boobs who was wearing only a small sequinned bra and some very short shorts. Her role was officially backing singer, but although she had a microphone in front of her, I'm pretty sure it wasn't turned on because I certainly couldn't hear her. Her role, then, appeared to simply be to gyrate and perform slutty dance moves up against the mike stand, which she did admirably. Atta-girl! And a quick Google tells me that this slutty mover is… um, oh. Perry Farrell's wife! Well, you never got Linda McCartney doing THAT on stage.

Perhaps the only downside was that when Perry asked for requests as to what song they should perform at one point, he ignored my suggestion of the Jane's Addiction song 'My Cat's Name is Maceo' (if you haven't heard it, Google it - it's a treat; "My cat's names is Maceo/he's a little man in a cat's body." I kid you not). Anyway, that aside the Satellite Party were pretty funkin' awesome, and I'm super-glad I went with Simon. He liked it too. Brotherly bonding and a quality gig - good times!

Some pics!

Perry does the 'hands up if you use Right-Guard' thing.

Perry clambers up to the people in the cheap seats (OK, there weren't any seats, but you know what I mean…)

Sing to us Perry, sing!

I'm pretty sure he was looking at me here…

And thanks to my new-found power of youtube - some videos (shitty sound, I know, but just look at the moving pictures!)


This is them doing the Jane's Addiction classic 'Been Caught Stealing.'


I don't know what song this was, but Perry was super-close to us at one point.

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Before meeting Simon I went for a KFC. I walked in, and my eyes were immediately drawn towards a sign on the wall:

Anyone who violently abuses our staff will be prosecuted

That, to my mind, suggested that you could probably give them a bit of a slap and get away with it.

"Next please!" I snapped out of my reverie, and looked at the woman at the till.

"Um, I'd like a large popcorn meal to eat in, please."

"Would you like that large?"

*sigh*

"Yes."

"Eat in or takeaway?"

I rolled my eyes, and briefly considered testing my slap theory.