Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Things that make me go: tee-hee-hee!

As you might have gathered by now, I'm a simple man who is easily amused. And recently there's been a couple of things that have amused me.

Let's review:

1: Katie Price is Satan

First up, who the hell thought that Jorda- sorry, I mean Katie Price, could be a) an author, b) an author writing books aimed at young girls, and c) a cracking role model for said young girls. I can just imagine the shock on the publisher's face when he got the first draft manuscript about a young girls 'riding' dreams as imagined by Jordan; no doubt THAT went back to the ghost writer… Anyway, so yes, Katie Price is putting away her massive boobs and writing some kids books about ponies. Aaaah. And hilariously, some enterprising young chav in Hammersmith has seen fit to modify one of the adverts at a bus stop by writing 'Satan' across her forehead. Marvellous.

What a spot-on observation. It's like we're seeing another Banksy emerging before our very eyes. And note how he put little circles around the 'a's? Banksy would be proud. (click the link and scroll along to the eighth picture)

2. Comic book-based hilarity

There I was the other night, reading my comics, when I got to the latest issue of DC's latest weekly comic book, Countdown (nothing to do with Richard Whiteley or Carol Vorderman, quiz fans). And what happens towards the end of the issue? The new Red Hood, Jason Todd, gets hit by a kokk.

Yes, among the 'whaps' and the 'kraks' there's a 'kokk.' Someone is seriously having a laugh with the sound effects. That said, it's still not as good as that infamous Captain America panel. A Brit definitely wrote THAT one…

3. Excitement beckons

My local Sainsbury's is undergoing something of a revamp, and when I rolled up there today on my way home from work I discovered big posters promising that customers will soon be enjoying a "better car park!" Now, I know in hindsight this probably just means that they're going to make it a bit bigger and easier to access and stuff like that, but my first thought was that it might have something to do with lasers and go-go dancers. I reckon you could improve a car park infinitely with lasers and go-go dancers, rather than just adding a few more spaces and a well-intentioned one-way system. Only time will tell, but I'm already looking forward to good-times car park malarkey.


Something that is not making me giggle, though, is the forthcoming 10k run. It's this Sunday coming, y'see, and I've barely done any preparation. Last year I was a bit panicked over the whole thing and I'd been doing four runs per week. This year… well, what with my dodgy knee and then getting a cold at the weekend (a cold - seriously! What's that all about?! It's freakin' summer!), I'm feeling, well, VERY WORRIED.

I did a run last night, and am just about to go out for another one now, then there's one with Sweatband tomorrow, but beyond that it's all in the lap of the gods. Rather than aim for a decent time, I think I'm just going to hope to finish this year… I seem to remember last year I told you my run number and jokingly said that you might find me face-down in a gutter. Well this year I'm number 23, and it's a distinct possibility.

Wish me luck, people!


Tara said...

So Satan occasionally writes kids books about ponies? Sounds right, you can't be doing one job for too long or else you'll get burned out.

I like the Banksy art.

Tim said...

Yep, you got it! Are you aware of the thing we call Jordan in the U.S.? If not, wiki here - if you dare...!

Banksy's great, isn't he?

Dinah said...

I think I only know of Jordan through Go Fug Yourself, which sounds about right.

Banksy's right - things DO look better when you put them in a circle!

Tim said...

Ha ha!!! Go Fug Yourself?! What the hell is that!? But you're right - it does sound about right!!

I *love* Banksy's stuff! I demand that everything should be put in a circle!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

* W A N K *

Ooh, I hit my head...

* snigger *

Dirty Captain America!

Tim said...

Were you hit by an adamantium shield? You should really have ducked - they can hurt!

Dinah said...

Go Fug Yourself is a website where two awesomely snarky women post pictures of celebrities out in public at premieres and such, and make fun of it.

It's a lot funnier than I've made it sound.

skillz said...

Katie Price is misunderstood. History will rank her with the likes of Marie Curie and that womens libbers who accidently walked in front of those horses.

Tim said...

Dinah - I'm'a gonna ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out!!!! I like snarky women.

Skillz - The libber who walked in front of horses? D'ya mean Helen Keller? As for Jordan, well, quite frankly she could be the new Princess Diana.

T-Bird said...

I am still trying to figure out what 'wank' sounds like as a sound effect?

Is it the muffled tears of rage and fear?

Also, a question. Why did Katie Price think she needed to change her name?

Tim said...

I reckon it's like a metallicy sound effect - kinda like "WEEEER-ANK!"

We should email Marvel Comics and demand an explanation!

I've got a funny feeling that Katie Price changed her name to Jordan because she was the pit-slut for the Jordan Formula 1 team. But now she wants to be taken all seriously she's reverting to Katie.

Like I could take her seriously with boobs like that.

Dora & Tina said...

Hehe...that panel said "Kokk"

How very, very strange!

Tim said...

Comics are fun!