Tuesday, March 13, 2007

365

"Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to meeeeee,
Happy birthday dear Spaaaaaarky,
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeee!"
Of course, we all know it's not my real birthday (because as YOU ALL KNOW that is NOVEMBER 10th*); but it is my bloggie birthday! Yes, that's right: it was one year - 365 days ago - today that I got a bit bored waiting for Smallville to come on the telly, and decided that I'd unleash myself upon you, the delightful and somewhat unsuspecting public.

Oh, what merry hell has ensued since then.

Together we've faced miniature horses, a spoon crisis, getting blinged up for running, and hunky me sporting a beard. I for one (and I might be alone in this), would like to officially remember these as "good times." You might like to remember them as a decidedly-average looking special writing nonsense, occasionally more than once a day. But bless you, some of you have stayed the course with me, and for that I salute you, because you could've gone off and done something more interesting, like scrub hippies, or dress your cat in suave and sophisticated attire; hell, sod the salute - I might even be persuaded to air kiss you on both cheeks. Or tongue, if you're so inclined and I'm feeling particularly slutty.

Mwuh.

And to top it all off, this is also post number 365. That's right - I've mouthed off enough to fill a post each and every day of the last year. Do I have NOTHING better to do?

Quite frankly, no.

(I will say that out of those 365 posts, at least five of them are really good and maybe even worth reading. But I'm not going to tell you which ones; you'll have to find them for yourself. Muwahaha. And when you do, maybe print them off and read them when you're on the toilet or something? They might just help you pass your daily bread, and they'll certainly give you something to wipe with if you're a bit cheap and bought a lower-grade of paper.)

So yes, doesn't time fly when you're having fun; well, I have been - I don't know about you. Have you? I hope so. Tempus has fugited, ain't it? Whoosh! It's just gone. Like that. I was thinking about buying a cake to celebrate, but then I realised there's no way I can share it with you, and a huge cake would just go to waste. So I microwaved a small syrup pudding instead, which was nice (and three for the price of two in Sainsbury's - BARGAIN). Anyway, I expect I'll be writing something similar to this around the same time next year, which gives us all something to look forward to, hmmm…?

Hold on Sparky fans - it's going to be a wild rollercoaster ride!

(I think this is the bit where vacuous me begs you to post comments lavishing me with praise for my wit, male-model looks, and Batman-esque crime-fighting skills. And then, like a ninja, I vanish into the night leaving a trail of women wanting to love me, and crowds of men wanting to be me!)

-----

Finally, after one year of blogging, let me share a secret with you: if you want to boost the number of readers to your blog, just copy and paste the text below into a new post.

Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff NIPPLES Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff
Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff Katee Sachoff

You would not believe the amount of deviants that have found Sparky Malarkey by Googling 'Katee Sachoff's nipples.' Seriously, just sit back and watch the perverts swarm like flies to a turd!**


*And if you didn't know, pop it in your diary now, lest you forget.

**Not that I'm calling anyone's blog a turd. That would just be rude and untrue.

14 comments:

KG said...

Happy blogging birthday! Hmmm, that sounds almost nasty. Anyway, congratulations on your first year. Here's to another year of laughter (can you hear the champagne glasses clinking?) ;-)

Tim said...

Awww, KG, bless ya! Yes, blogging birthday does sound a bit nasty doesn't it? That said, I won't have it any other way - muwahahahaha!

And, goddamn you're good at getting in first for the comments! IDV won't best pleased you got in before him again!

I'll do me utmost to keep the laughter quota high - and I'm raising a glass right back at ya! (admittedly my South Park 'Timmy!' frosted stein rather than a champagne glass, but the intention is the same!!)

T-Bird said...

Well NIPPLES congratulations on a year of KATEE SACHOFF NIPPLES blogging, I have to say that NIPPLES SACHOFF yours is a blog I like to visit and have a NIPPLES giggle at every KATEE day!.

I think our cardboard cutouts all need to enjoy a microwave pudding too!

Dinah said...

Poo! Because I like saying that, too.

Congrats! I think I found you through Dora...somehow? It's all so long ago now. But I love your blog and your stories of everything, it all sounds so great and exotic.

Have a great next year!

BoobS!

Tim said...

T-Bird! - Thank you so nipply much!! And I definitely think we should all put some golden sachoff puddings in the microwave for syrupy goodness and good times! When you and Dora are done with the cardboard cutouts pop them in a Fedex and send them to me and I will treat them to pudding!

Dinah! - Poo is an awesome word, isn't it? I'm not sure it generates many hits though. At least not the sort of people we'd want to be visiting our beloved blogs!

It's not important how we found each other's blogs - it's just important that we DID find each other's blogs. Aaaah, you guys...! Thank you so much for your kind words! I think I might have to change my blog description to 'Great and Exotic!'

Boobs to you too!!

skillz said...

Happy blogday!

I found you through Baker's blog, it was the esoteric knowledge of the Sumerian spirit Zool The Gatekeeper that did it.

The bit where Rick Morannis talks to the horse! HIGH-LARIOUS!

Dora said...

I have missed all use of the word boobs on this blog....god, I need to keep up with my blog reading. If I knew boobs would be on here I might have read more often.

Okay that's not true....I found this blog via T-Bird and the rest is history.

Congrats Timbo on the blogging good times to be had here!

Tara said...

Hey, good times! Congrats on your one year blogiversary! I know I'm glad I found your blog. You post some hilarious stuff! Keep up the good work!

Tim said...

Skillz! Cheers dude! Ah, Zool, I remember it well. My phone still remembers that word in predictive text. Very bizarre!

Isn't Rick Moranis in general just HIGH-larious? I thought it was a contractual obligation...?

Dora! I'm always writing boobs. Oh no, wait, I'm always THINKING boobs. A bit different, but essentially the same. Thanks Dora, and I look forward to seeing more pics of Tom Kitten on yours!

Tara! Thanks to you too! But what do you mean 'hilarious?' This is supposed to be a serious 'dear diary'-style documentation of my life. It's very serious.

...

...

Muwahahahahaha!!!!!

iPandah said...

Congratumalations Mayor Leng!! I have to say, I had a sneaky peek at your beard pic and you really are a handsome fella!!! I'd much rather look at you than KATEE SACHOFF'S NIPPLES. Rrrrrrrrow!
;0)

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Shit! Late again.

Well, it wasn't my fault, I had to fight to get past KATEE SACHOFF's NIPPLES. Honestly, they were everywhere I turned!

Congratulations on your one a day average! Keep up the thigh definition and I'll stick around for another year. You can thank Glittering Lee and T-Bird for my stalking!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Blast! I forgot this: BOOBS!

missy&chrissy said...

happy blog birthday! here's to 365 more (years! days wouldn't be enough) of malarkey!

cheers,
loveandcyanide

Tim said...

ipandah! Thanks!! And, um, *blushing*!!!! Ha ha ha!!

Inexplicable Device! You might be late, but Katee Sachoff's nipples are a massive obstacle to get past. I shan't ask for a note from your mum on this occasion!

And BOOBS to you too!! Muwahahahaha!

Missy & Chrissy! Thanks! 365 years of malarkey!? Good lord, I better get started - to the batcave!!!