Sunday, March 25, 2007

Fun on the Sunday

Well, no, not really. Here's what I've done today in brief (not 'in briefs') so that you can decide whether or not to read on:

• Got up late.
• Drank tea and ate toast with marmalade!
• Changed my bed.
• Went to Sainsburys.
• Read my book.
• Fell asleep.

If I may, and as you might recall I have on occasion done before, I'd like to go into a little more detail about the trip to Sainburys. I genuinely thought it might be a bit empty at the time I went, and was a bit shocked to find that what appeared to be every single dithering idiot in a 20 mile radius had descended on it. I really hate stupid people who leave their stupid trolley parked lengthways across the aisle. Everyone seemed to be doing this today. And if I stopped to look at a variety of products on a shelf, this same old woman would push her trolley in front of my field of vision then wander off back up the aisle where she'd just come from and where it was COMPLETELY EMPTY. This happened first while I was checking out fabric softeners, and last when I was looking at shampoos.

There were also a lot of annoying, pushy people. I'd stop to let someone else coming from the other direction push their trolley through a small gap, then some old bid would ram her trolley into me from behind, tut, and barge through. Is it illegal to chin old bids in the cereal aisle? Talking of cereal, I was excited to see if my Sainsburys had an 'adult cereal' section like Skillz noticed in his; sadly it did not, and my disappointment rapidly descended into confusion when I reached for a box of Sainsbury's own corn flakes. These were piled two boxes high on the shelf, and while the top one offered a 'kid's science CD-ROM', the bottom one, I noticed had an additional green segment on the Sainsbury's wheel of health. What a dilemma! A CD-ROM and two dangerously orange sections, or no CD-ROM and better health? Oh, the decisions facing the young scientists of this day and age! In the end I decided to go with the healthier option; I expect the CD-ROM wasn't Mac-compatible anyway.


One of my other purchases was a packet of Café Switch, the exciting new coffee-based beverage that you have to pump with your thumbs for frothy fun! I had a choice of three varieties: True Kick, White Innocence (which sounds like something the Ku Klux Klan might claim), and Creamy Indulgence. I went for the latter.

Anyway, first thoughts? Well, I won't mince words - it tastes like petrol. To be honest, though, I get the impression it's one of those things that, despite tasting foul, I'll no doubt become inexplicably addicted to. It's either that or take a mouthful from the pump next time I'm filling the car up.


I just got a text message from the place where I get my hair cut. "We haven't heard from you in a while - why not phone and book an appointment?"

OK, I was actually only thinking this morning that I need a cut, but to actually get a text that basically says "yer hair looks shit, get it cut you hippy" is a bit disconcerting.

I'll book an appointment tomorrow.


skillz said...

"Anyway, first thoughts? Well, I won't mince words - it tastes like petrol."

If I was drinking coffee when I read that, I would have spat it across my monitor!!!

And not because it tasted like petrol.

skillz said...

I would also like to state that the above comment was the first one posted in this particular blog post, and hereby wish to accuse everyone else who leaves a comment of creating partial vaccuums in their mouths.

Tim said...

Ooo - maybe your coffee would've tasted like diesel? Seriously, it did taste a bit weird, and I can't help thinking that the whole thumb-pumping thing is just some kind of marketing ploy. That said, I do actually want another one, and I'm thinking of drinking the frothy syrup straight out of the recently-pumped pod.

Will I survive? Who knows!

Ha ha ha! Skillz totally out-firsted EVERYONE! Including me…

skillz said...

Talking of petrol, I filled up the other day and for the second time I landed bang on 20 with one squeeze.

I definitely have a talent for it, are there any ways I can make money off this?

Dinah said...

I was going to make a joke about you going for the "adult" choice with the cereal, but then there was the Creamy Indulgence follow-up, and my head sort of exploded.

Carry on.

Tim said...

Skillz - Only if you were a petrol pump attendent, I reckon. Another super-power the world shall remain oblivious to!

Dinah - "but then there was the Creamy Indulgence follow-up, and my head sort of exploded."

A problem that afflicts many a young lad.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I came here for a bit of an escape from the utter rudeness of MJ's, only to fall into a pit of innuendo.

I should have known...

Tara said...

I can't seem to sleep in on the weekends even when I have the option! My internal clock is always set to go off before 9am, anymore, so I consider sleeping in past 9 to be "sleeping in". Tea, toast and marmalade sound really good.

Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - My smut-filter is well and truly engaged - what more can say!?

Tara - Oh, I wish I could wake-up at a set time, but I sooooo can't. I'm especially bad at weekends at the moment. Maybe we should trade the sleep-centres of our brains?