Weirdos

Do you ever step out the door and feel like you're in The Truman Show or something? I had that today, although fortunately I wasn't stopping every passerby to say "Good morning - and if I don't see you later, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!"

God, sometimes I could punch Jim Carrey. And by 'sometimes' I actually mean 'all the time.'

Anyway, I walked out of the office at lunchtime, and decided to take a detour to a) enjoy the nice weather, and b) avoid our overly-chatty postman (who seems to think he's my new best friend and stays in the office for about 20 minutes each day despite my repeated attempts to at least look like I'm working). Straight away, however, I was confronted by what looked to be Patty the daytime hooker - the aged prostitute from My Name is Earl.


She looked virtually identical; a short off-white furry coat (I'm assuming it was once pure white), a VERY short skirt, holey tights, and cheap-looking, faux-PVC hooker shoes. The one exception was her hair, which was piled up on top of her head in a pineapple stylee, rather like the lead singer of M People in the mid-90s. And she was standing there, outside someone's house, chatting to her equally rough looking mate while tugging her tights up and almost flashing her lady parts in the process. Opposite a freakin' primary school, I should add in an outraged fashion!

What was incredibly disturbing, however, was that while she was chatting to her protégée and hoisting up her sagging fishnets, she was staring at me. Constantly. And that made me a bit nervous. Did I have some chocolate smeared on my face? Or, more worryingly, was she looking at me as a likely candidate? Ugh… in the words of Stewie from Family Guy, I bet it'd be like throwing a cocktail weiner down a corridor.

Anyway, I evaded Patty the daytime hooker and continued on my way to Hammersmith. Minutes later I passed some dude about my age who was wearing a massive winter coat fully done up and with his hood up. And this is where I expand upon my earlier comment that today was a lovely day, with glorious sunshine and a mild breeze. I know Hammersmith is renowned for it's more than fair share of crazies, but today took the biscuit and smeared chocolate over its face. About the only nutter I didn't see was the alarmed looking crazy afro lady who always asks me for cigarettes and looks like she's about to cry when I say no.

Anyone else encounter any notable crazies in the course of their day?

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In other news, Channel 4 have revealed that they're going to make a 'rubbish reality TV show.' Funny, I thought they already did…