So, tomorrow is my birthday.
(Waits for cheers)
Anyway, for the first time in a couple of years I've decided to throw a little berfdee bash. In a pub. Hopefully with some friends.
A few years back I had a ... 'gathering' in the same pub as this year's event in which I conspired beforehand, along with Yaz and the lovely Lorna, to develop a theme. After some fitfull starts, Lorna and I hit the nail on the head during a trip to the cinema to see a film that may have been The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. While watching the credits, Lorna and I acted like complete children and sat there giggling at people's names. And the best one - the one that had us both crossing our legs to stop ourselves from peeing - was Courtney Vanderslice.
Which immediately made us think it was a porn star name.
And thus was born the porn star name themed birthday party.
Initially we were just going to have a bunch of white stickers and get people to write stupid slutty names on them. But then comics pal Graham started messing around in photoshop and made this amazing perverted name badge. So then we all did. And none of us did any work that day. And we might've broken the colour printer in the office printing out filth.
This was my name:
No comments are necessary here.
Everyone was given fair warning to come up with a name. And anyone who thought they could get away without thinking of one could think again. Because we created a long list of standby names, and had marker pens and stickers ready to make badges on the spot.
There were even a few spare photoshopped badges, like this one I made.
I can't remember which lucky soul got assigned this beauty.
Hilarity ensued, let me tell you.
Anyway, back to this year. Yaz and I have spent a good couple of months trying to come up with a decent theme, but really, I think we peaked a bit too early with the porn stars. And you should NEVER repeat yourself.
Eventually, we settled on a theme of sorts, although I've decided not to enforce it so strictly this time round. And what is it?
It's all My Name is Earl inspired, with initial thoughts being that I'd grow a trailer-trash stylee moustache (think Taylor Hawkins from the Foo Fighters). The thought of having to face my parents and grandparents looking like that, however, nixed that idea. My brother's really into the concept of it though; he wants to ride around the pub on a tricycle just like Earl's brother Randy did in the episode The Professor (which I would post a picture of if I could find one). I told Yaz and she said she was going to fight him for the tricycle. Who would win? Who the hell knows?
Then I was going to draw a load of moustaches, print 'em out, and make everyone wear them. But then I forgot to do it when I was last at work and I don't have a printer at home. And I'd sort of feel bad standing in the pub pointing at people shouting "PUT YER F&*£IN' MOUSTACHE ON OR GET OUT!"
Whatever! It should be a laugh anyway!!