Saturday, November 11, 2006

Because something *always* goes wrong...

"Why on Earth would you ever need a bigger car?" Said Marcosy.

"Well... sometimes it would be handy..."

"No it wouldn't - when have you EVER needed a bigger car?"

Prophetic words if ever they were spoken...


Jo and I arrived in the Hammersmith/Shepherds Bush area bang on 17:45 ready for the big birthday celebrations, and I parked up on the street, rather than on the trading estate where I usually park during the week when I go to work.

It would turn out to be a very wise move...

We wandered over to the pub, grabbed a drink, and plonked ourselves down on the comfy sofas that I'd reserved for the evening. We were shortly joined by comics pal Graham, then Yaz, then the flood gates opened and within half an hour we'd filled our little area to capacity. Although I wasn't drinking, I can't really remember much of what we were talking about, but a good time was certainly being had by all.

I do, however, remember Yaz saying that she'd left my present in her car, and she should go across to the trading estate where she and Marcosy had parked to get it. "No," I replied, "give it to me later!"

I also remember Jo saying around 22:30 that some cheese and mushroom wedges had made her feel a little queasy and that she was thinking about getting the tube home. "No," I replied, "the pub closes at 11, and if you wait until then I can drive you home far quicker than if you left now!"

But of course, my tiny brain had forgotten about late licensing.

We left the pub at quarter to one in the morning, and after a quick farewell in the rain we wandered back to our cars; Yaz and Marcosy back to their respective motors, me, Jo, and my bro back to mine.

Unfortunately, it seems that someone had locked the only exit to the trading estate, and Yaz and Marcosy's cars were... imprisoned!

We tried various different combinations, but nothing seemed to work. After about 40 minutes of trying a multitude of different exit strategies we had no other option but to give up. We settled on a plan by which I would leave Simon with Marcosy to shelter from the rain in Marcosy's car, while I dropped Yaz home to Ealing, with poor Jo - who was probably thinking she could've actually walked home quicker - sitting in the back watching the world go by.

Thirty minutes later I was back in Shepherds Bush to collect Simon and Marcosy. While I was gone, Marcosy had been driving his car around the trading estate like a caged tiger. He even tried to shatter the gate with sound waves from the ma-hoo-sive bass amp sitting in his boot.

That was when I reminded Marcosy that occasionally it might be handy to have a car that can seat five people. We did have a bit of a giggle as we drove Marcosy home (he lives... god - waaaaay outside London!).

So eventually, having dropped Simon and Jo off, I got home and into bed at bang on 04:10.

One day - I suspect when Yaz and Marcosy have freed their cars - we'll all laugh at this BIG TIME. But by god it was a great evening anyway!


Highlights include:

• Sweatband ordering me to do the London Marathon next year. I just sat there shaking my head "no." Sweatband does not take "no" for an answer. I think she is trying to kill me...

• Skillz came along! Dude, I realised after you left that I owe you a beer for hosting my comics pages on your webspace and I totally didn't remember!!

• El Deanio placing a large semi-transparent red perspex vase over his groin and propositioning us all. Talk about "being prepared."

• Lee. Lee is just one of my favourite people EVAH. And now he's one of Jo's too. Actually, he seems to be forming a harem comprised solely of my lady friends...

• Lorna gave me some TimTam Balls! Have you ever had a TimTam? They're possibly the best biscuits on the planet, and now they're in ball form! How many can I fit in my mouth? Who knows - but I intend to find out later!

Twenty-nine is pretty goddamned awesome so far!


skillz said...

I should be apologising, I forgot to get you a birthday drink!

sweatband = dawn bates?

Dinah said...

Sounds like so much fun. Hurrah! Birthdays can be the best. Plus, there was an adventure!

my word verification was drshvt, which I choose to read as "Dr. Shove It"

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I bet you wished you still had the 5 Series.

My word verification was 'dkrtqfbn' which I choose to read as a load of old squit!

Tim said...

Skillz - no worries - I drank so much conky cola I was practically vibrating by about 1am. I think if we hadn't driven to Hertfordshire at 3am I'd just have been wide awake at home anyway, so the unexoected adventure worked out quite well!

And yes - spot on! Have you been googling anagram generators?

Dinah - it was fun! In fact, it was fun + no hangover, so doubly fun! I haven't been on an adventure for ages, so the adventure was good too. It certainly made the evening memorable!

I had a word verification the other day that looked like a swear!

Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - indeed - this was one of the few occasions! I suppose I could've put someone in the boot...

My word verification is now being all dull and boring - I'd like a consonant please Carol!

Dora and Tina said...

Well someone could have been put on the roof!

I can see him driving that car around and around the cage - you know like those death spheres that motorbike riders get into? Should have just rammed the gates.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Dinah said...

No hangover? I'm jealous. I went out for coffee last night and woke up with a hangover.

Miss T said...

Awesome birthday. Any birthday is awesome when someone puts something large and unexpected over their groin.

Re Tim Tams: They are our best export since the Bee Jees and Kylie. The balls are ok - but have you guys got the
* double coated Tim Tams (they're really fat)
* blackforrest cherry
* chewy caramel
* chocolate truffel
* they had dark chocolate and chilli ones for a while too

Have you tried a chocolate rocket where you nibble off the diagonal corners of a tim tam, put it in coffee and suck?

Dora and Tina said...

...and then it goes all over your mouth and face and makes a mess??

It's cool. Not when you do it at work like I did the other morning with my hot milo....for breakfast. It was a bad day okay?

Tim said...

Dora - Ohmygod! It would've been like Mad Max beyong Thunderdome, except without Tina Turner and her massive eighties hair!

I did briefly think about putting someone on the roof, but you know what it's like when they fall off. You have to turn around and go back and get them...

Too much hassle!

Dinah - one of the reasons I gave up drinking was because my friends would go out and get drunk and I'd wake up with a hangover! It was like some bizarre psychic thing!

Miss T - Oh, yeah! I discovered the delights of the chocolate rocket (though I wasn't aware of the name!) a few years back when Natalie Imbruglia did it on a TV show! I got some Tim Tams, took 'em into work, and we all had a go! Although we did it with tea. Probably because we're British.

The only flava-flavours we get over here are the regular and double chocolate ones. Maybe the caramel. Chocolate truffle?! Oooh...

Dora - sometimes you've just got to go with the mess. I might have to put my balls in milo. My Tim Tam balls!

Miss T said...

Hehehehe! That double entendre was made even better by the fact that you and the chocolatey snack share a first name.

Instead of Timbo, I dub thee Tim Tam.

Crush your balls and put them over vanilla icecream. SCRUMMY!!!

Tim said...

Crush my balls over ice cream!? Ooo - thata sounds-a nice-a!!!

I shall rush out and buy some ice cream!!!!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

* shocked & appalled at innuendo *

Wait. No I'm not!

I really want to try the blackforest cherry ones now...