Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I'm a coke fiend

Yes, you read that right - I am a coke fiend.

And by that I mean I've been taste-testing the latest vile varieties of cola-based beverages, just so you don't have to.

I'm nice like that, y'see.

First up: Pepsi Max-Cino!

(And for fans of The OC, no it's not a cola-based beverage from the wrong side of the tracks who is taken in by a wealthy family)

This intricately-named drink is actually a coffee-flavoured sugar free cola-based beverage. Ooo, doesn't that sound just... well, delicious!

Think again, buster. Pepsi Max-Dirt would be more relevant. I had to buy a six-pack of this 'cos they didn't have singles, so I think I'm well-placed to say that cans 1-6 did not taste anything like coffee. It did, however, strip my teeth of any and all traces of plaque, thus saving me from a costly drip to the dentist. So "Hooray" to that.

On the downside, after six cans I felt a tad jittery. And a little paranoid.

Next up is Coca-Cola Lime, which comes in a stunning vibrant green bottle. GASP! How exotic!

On the downside, it tastes a bit like what I'd imagine Matey Bubble Bath tastes like.

Actually, I'd hazard a guess that Matey tastes better. And is probably better for you in the long term.

Which is a shame, because I love the advert for this ("put the lime in the coke you nut"); I did try to find it online, but all this cola-based fun has given me an extremely short attention span so, y'know, just Google it or something.

I'll be sitting in a darkened room trying to stop grinding my teeth together and coming down from a sugar-high – and no doubt looking forward to the imminent launch of Coke Blak. How ominous!


Binnsy said...

Don't try Coke Zero.

Tastes like... well. Something bad.

Tim said...

Coke Zero!? What the hell is that!?!?!

It sounds very final - is there poison in it?