Here's a surprise: first day back at work - not horrible!
There I was, all braced and ready for a torrent of disasters, and all I get back to find are a few emails that were easily dealt with, and a pressing need for a cup of tea. It was all very calm and lovely, and it made me feel a teeny bit super. Maybe the sunny weather had something to do with it too?
Anyway, emails and tea aside, I spent a few minutes talking to Scanner Dave, and for some reason mentioned to him that there was a thing on the Radio 6 website where you're asked to send in a picture of yourself holding your favourite word. Scanner had his new supery-doopery 70 kajillion megapixel digital camera with him, and convinced me to do it.
So I did.
Geez, I am such a whore.
Anyway, the fun didn't end there; no, because later I found out that I'm on the homepage for Shaun Keaveny's breakfast show as a stud-tastic advert for this particular feature.
(I screen-grabbed this because no doubt it will change and I'd hate for any of you to miss out on such quality Tim-based action)
But it didn't end there, oh no. Because later in the day we were all talking about my whoring, when someone made the suggestion that I should've done it naked, with the paper covering my boy bits.
We all laughed heartily at that one, then one by one everyone stopped laughing and began to look at me with *that* sort of look that seems to indicate that I should definitely do it.
"That's all very well," I replied, "But I'd have to hold the paper in a portrait orientation."
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Photographic japes didn't end at the whoring, however. No, because Scanner also captured me as I prepared for the working day and let anyone and everyone know that I was NOT to be messed with. I'm a serious professional, don't ya know.
Unlike Rose in Titanic, though, I wouldn't let him photograph me "like one of his French girls."
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19 comments:
Awesome! Tim, you rule!! And I am now going to start using the word CHUNK! Or maybe, CHUNKY, wouldn't want to rip you off completely like I did with the Olivia Neutron-Bomb thing. Keep it up!
It's all part of the viral marketing campaign for my mayoral election platform. This week - Radio 6's website. Next week - stradling a double-page spread in Hello! (oof - watch out for the staples!)
I've thought chunk is an awesome word ever since I read something about a 'chunk of flesh' in a Willard Price book years ago. I have no problem, nay, I demand, that you use CHUNK as part of your everyday vocabulary. It's a word of the people.
(and anyway, I reckon the Kitkat people trademarked CHUNKY, the buggers!)
I was feeling chunkless till I read this - now I am chunky! I guess I wouldn't do the nude thing.... unless you must..
TIM! AWESOME! Oh, this is too exciting. I was afraid that you were going to be beaten out by the adorable little children for the best picture, but the power of Chunk was with you.
Mutley - Rest assured, it would take A LOT of convincing for me to do the nude thing. I'm not that much of a media whore.
Yet…
Dinah - The power of chunk indeed! Chunk is a beautiful word, and it did its thing - those little kiddy-winkies should choose their words more carefully in future!!
You have the coolest office!
Oh, and my teaching partner has this awesome trick to get the kids to learn the difference between landscape and portrait.
Landscape = hamburgers when you fold it in half
Portrait = hotdogs when you fold it in half.
Geddit!
T-Bird - Yeah, it's OK, innit? You should see the outside at the moment - all blossomy and Spring-like. When there's a breeze it shakes the trees and makes it look like it's snowing!
Ha ha ha - I like that way of determining landscape and portrait! Next time I have to make an orientation decision I'm definitely going to suggest we go hotdog!!
Wow, Tim, that's great! Can I have your autograph? The word "chunk" is a fine word for sure. It reminds me of "Chunky Chips Ahoy" chocolate chip cookies. And I believe there's a Ben & Jerry's ice cream called "Chunky Monkey". Keep on whoring! ;)
Tara - Of course you can! *starts practising cool celeb style autograph…*
Chunk is an awesome word isn't it? Chunky Chips Ahoy sound amazing! We don't get exciting named cookies over here, though we do get Chunky Monkey. We do get Kitkat Chunky though, which are possibly the best thing evah.
Chonk Chunk Chink = early Transformers, er... transforming.
Chunk = The BEST character from The Goonies.
The list goes on... I was going to say endless, but I think we all know that's a big lie.
You do have a cool office, but even cooler eyebrows! I might be a teeny tiny bit jealous!
And lastly: Willard Price. OMG! I didn't think anyone else had read his books (they were the Hal and Roger 'Adventure' books, weren't they? As in: South Sea Adventure, Amazon Adventure etc)
Inexplicable Device - Those damned Transformers had a habit of doing that, didn't they? And Go-bots, do you remember them - the cheap Bandai rip-offs. They, er, go'd…
Chunk was great. Who could forget the truffle-shuffle?
Eyebrows? I don't think I've got particularly cool eyebrows. I always wanted Jack Nicholson-style eyebrows so I'd look a tad nuts, but alas it was not to be.
And, OMG indeed! Yes!! Hal was the sensible older one, wasn't he? And Roger was the crazy younger one who'd always get bitten by crazy monkeys and spitting cobras! Elephant Adventure was my favourite!! My bro used to have loads of them, but I think he chucked them. I totally want to reread Elephant Adventure now!!
Tee hee - I feel I need to buy some Willard Price books from an online bookseller… My own Amazon (.co.uk) Adventure!!
Hee hee! I liked the one where Hal got bitten or poisoned or something and Roger had to do all the animal trapping and stuff, eventually proving that he was a man, despite being only 16!
Actually, I've just had a thought: Every Media Whore has a stalker, that's how they know they've made it in celebdom. I'm available Thursday night for some light stalking. You know, lurking outside your house, rumaging through your bins (although I might bring Mutley along to do that bit), papping you when you bring the milk in in the morning...
And Roger had the incredible ability to tame any animal he came into contact with, except, unfortunately, for the spitting cobra that almost blinded him until Hal poured milk in his eyes to wash the venom out!
Aaaah, good times!
Now, Thursday's probably not so good for me - how about Monday? I think I'm free then. Also, the rubbish was collected today, and I don't get my milk delivered, so stalking Thursday might be somewhat lighter than originally intended…
Other than that I'm totally up for it. I don't need to be caught out and about with Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan, do I?
Eyebrows are a big deal. Jack Nicholson looks like the devil with his eyebrows. He scares the shit out of me. How on earth does he pull so much?
But yes, your eyebrows do have a nice natural arch. You bugger. It takes considerable pain for me to get mine in any sort of condition!
Nice stubble by the way. Miaow.
*sigh* Between you and IDV this week, I am wondering why all the cute and well adjusted men seem to be in the UK.
Really? I have awesome eyebrows? I'd never thought that before… I always thought they were… odd. That makes me smile!
I am pleased with my stubble though!
After years of us Britlanders being laughed at as being Austin Powers-esque visual freaks, maybe me and IDV could lead the vanguard of cute and well-adjusted UK men? Although he did say he was going to stalk me, which doesn't sound like a very well-adjusted quality, but I won't say anything if you don't.
Stalking does go against my well-adjusted sensibilities, but with the four of us vying for attention in one head, something had to give.
I'll see if I can do Monday, but Heroes is on so I need to be back by 10pm to watch it.
As for la Lohan et al, just make sure that if you do end up out on the town with them, that you wear some pants.
He hee!
Inexplicable Device - I'll probably be in bed by 10 with my book, so it'd make pretty dull stalking. Pencil me in for some pre-Heroes stalking, though, as I'll probably be doing something. How about I open a window or do some washing?
As for out and about with Lohan, yes - good advice. No one needs to see that*.
T-Bird - He hee indeed! BTW, I've been meaning to say that I'm liking the Cat in the Hat.
*I mean Lindsey.
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