Wednesday, July 25, 2007


So yesterday after work, Yaz, BSH, and I headed off to Shepherds Bush to see The Simpsons Movie - along with, it must be said, what looked like about 25,000 other people. I've never seen Shepherds Bush cinema so busy. Anything over seven people in that place and I get a bit jittery; it's so … hidden away.

Anyway, after hyperventilating into a paper bag and popping some prozac, I pulled myself together, got my ticket, and headed towards the screen. At the doors to Screen 4: The Simpsons Movie was a joyful looking man with a little cart and a paper hat.

"Doughnut?" He asked in a joyful high-pitched voice while proffering his hand towards his sweet, sweet treats.

"Ooo!" I squealed a little bit too much like Homer while wiggling my fingers in the air. "Don't mind if I do!"

I reached over and nabbed a doughnut, cradling it in my hand and aiming it towards my mouth.

"That'll be a pound." He said, his tone suddenly all serious.


"A pound."


"One pound. For the doughnut." He said, pointing at the doughnut in my hand as if I had several hidden about my person.

I grimaced, and seriously thought about putting it back. How rude to lure me like that. He was clearly some sort of sweet, sweet treat pimp, lulling people into a false sense of security before forcing them to pay up.

I was kind of hungry though, so I thrust my doughnut into his evil assistant's hand (keeping a watchful eye on her - she looked the sort to take a surruptitous bite, or lick the hundreds and thousands from the icing) while I fished in my wallet for a quid. Then I told him it was "cheeky," before heading in to see the film.

Yaz followed in a minute later, and I told her about being caught out by the doughnut sugar-daddy.

"Oh yes," she said, "he offered me one two. I picked one up, then he told me how much it was."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I put it back," she said, quite matter-of-factly. "I wasn't paying a quid for that."

And so, as The Simpsons Movie started, I sat in the darkness wondering just how many people had fingered my doughnut that day…


As for the movie itself, well, I did enjoy The Simpsons Movie very much. I'll admit to being a little bit disappointed that I wasn't belly-laughing all the way through, but it was consistently amusing all, and at 87 minutes long you never got the feeling that it outstayed its welcome. For me, though, it peaked at the Spider-Pig joke - which I first saw in the trailer weeks ago.

Worth an 18 year wait? Maybe not - but good fun nevertheless!


Joshua said...

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You must not feel obliged to come and visit me. An invitation is not an intimation. Also know that if you click on one of my ads I'm promised to earn a couple of cents for that: I would feel happy and rewarded (because I realy need it!!!) if you did click it, but once again you're totaly free to do what ever you want. I, for instance, choose immediatly to click on one of your ads, in case you have them. To do so or not, that's the whole beauty of it all, however, blogocitizens must unite also by clicking-help eachother when we know cybermegacorporations profit from our own selfishness regarding to that simple click.

I think it's to UNITE MANKIND that we became bloggers! Don't see language as an obstacle but as a challenge (though you can use the translater BabelFish at the bottom of my page!) and think for a minute if I and the rest of the world are not expecting something like a broad cumplicity. Remenber that pictures talk also. Open your heart and come along!!!!!

Tim said...

Um, awesome!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Damn. I've been out-firsted. And in a big way, too - I'm not reading all that!

The important question is: Did you eat the doughnut in the end?

Tim said...

I know, it's like War and Peace, isn't it? I had a little nap halfway through…

And, um, yeah, of course I did! I'd eaten it within about four seconds of handing over the cash!

T-Bird said...

Is that firster selling Amway? Or the 'secrets' to the universe?

Ticky ticky Timbo, you are a veritable virile K Fed poster! I just spent a good 15 minutes catching up on your blog. Nice trainers, 13 going on 30 is almost as awesome as Just Like Heaven (Ruffalo is the man) and that dude with the donut sucks.

Tim said...

I don't know what, if anything, he's selling, but I went to his blog to have a look, and despite the fact at the bottom of his monologue he says that language shouldn't be an obstacle, it was all in funny foreign words and I found that language was indeed an obstacle.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Crikey! He's some kind of monstrously overweight, future cyborg from the third reich!
Everybody duck and turn the lights out - pretend we're not in!

Tim said...

What!? A Nazi Terminator?!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Did you not look at his pictures?

Tim said...

God, no. His page was taking ages to load and I got bored!

Dinah said...

Wow. I think everything's been said!

I want to see the movie, the Simpsons just makes me so good. It's like a cartoon version of mac-and-cheese comfort food.

Tim said...

I think you'll love the movie, Dinah. It's good, solid, Simpsony entertainment!