Saturday, November 29, 2008

The great t-shirt debacle PLUS: the hat story

As long-time readers, and even those poor souls who strayed off the beaten path and found themselves stranded here might recall, a few weeks back I was unable to decide which of three awesome t-shirts I should buy, so I threw it open to a vote.

There was not a flurry of activity on the voting front, and eventually a winner was not so much announced, but certainly selected. That winner, I can reveal here for the first time, was the Cookie Monster t-shirt, with first-of-the-loosers second place going to Superman, and a craptacular third place going to the Joker.

This was good, because fortunately that's the order I preferred them in. *Phew*

Unfortunately, our little democratic poll fell to pieces after that, because basically they seem to have disappeared from every Topman store within range. First of all, in my week off (when I'd planned on sealing the deal), Kingston failed massively by not having any of them in stock, and a subsequent trip to Westfield proved little better; they only had Supes and the Joker in stock, and while I was happy to buy the runner-up, they only had them in super-tiny extra-small or voluminous large, and I really didn't want to look like I'd a) squeezed into what looks like something an eight year-old would struggle to put on, or b) like Homer in his mumu. It also suggests that I'm completely average in body size.

Things looked up however, when I had an email exchange with Marcosy in which he offered to buy them all for me because he didn't have a clue what to get me for my birthday. This was a full-on Brucey Bonus because not only would I not have to buy them myself, but it would save me from having to hunt them down - and he works near the world's biggest Topman store. Good times.

Unfortunately, Marcosy soon reported back that the world's biggest Topman store also didn't have them in stock, which suggests that I'm not the only guy infatuated with t-shirts bearing Muppets and comic book characters. On the plus side, he totally went of and picked me up a couple of awesome substitutes, one of which bears a distressed Superman logo which, when worn layered under another top makes me feel like I should run down Hammersmith high street while ripping my shirt open Superman-stylee. We all know, however, that that would only end with me tripping over a loose paving slab and face-planting onto the street or being happy-slapped by a brazen chav rather than flying heroically off into the sky.

An aside:

How's this for a back-handed complement: I was chatting to a lady who lives across the street the other day and mid-conversation she said "you look well - have you lost weight?"

Bearing in mind the arse has completely dropped out of my running schedule recently, I'd been thinking, if anything, that I was looking a bit chunkier than usual at the moment. Being a polite young chap, though, I replied "um, thank-you. But no."

The outcome of this is, though, that I now think a) that she thought I was big-boned to begin with, and b) if I apparently look trimmer when I've been sitting on my backside watching DVD boxsets I should probably just jack the whole exercise thing in, grab a family-size bag of Doritos and crack on with the fourth season of Boston Legal.

I'm so confused.

Despite the utter failure of the t-short vote (I blame Florida), I remain undeterred, and that's where the hat story comes into play. 

As you may know, I do love my beanie hats. When winter strikes they offer warmth, comfort, and style - much like Linus' blanket in Peanuts. And when it all gets too much I can just pull them down over my eyes in an attempt to block out the outside world (sometimes it actually works, especially if I sing "la la la" to myself).

What I have recently realized, however, is that I don't actually wear hats just because I simply want to wear a hat. I only wear them for practical reasons. In addition to my many and varied beanies, I also own a couple of baseball caps, which look pretty awesome on, but I very rarely wear them. And by 'very rarely' I actually mean 'never.' And in addition to the baseball caps I also own a kind of cadet cap that looked awesome when I bought it because I had longer hair at the time which padded it out; one short cut later and it leaves me looking like this


Anyway, recently I've gotten to thinking that I should rock the hat look more often. On a trip to Westfield the other week I saw what looked like a really wicked cap. I was very tempted to try it on, but it was actually being worn by some dude who was shopping with his girlfriend and I don't think he would've appreciated me plucking his hat off his head, popping it on my own, and checking out my reflection in a shop window.

A few days later, however, while out shopping with Marcosy, I had the good fortune to actually find one - for sale - in a shop. I tried it on, along with another hat which Marcosy said made me look like Kryton from Red Dwarf, so the less said about that the better. Anyway, the cap looked pretty darn cool, I think, but I hesitated nevertheless. Why? I dunno. On one hand I know that flat caps for dashing young gents like myself are totally on-trend this season (how metrosexual did that sound?), on the other hand it all goes back to the whole 'would I ever wear it?' thing. 

Marcosy said "buy it!" but he always says that to me so his word is pretty much worthless. Best Mate Jo, on the other hand, turned her nose up at it a bit when I showed her a picture (though she does approve of the flat cap style in general). I also emailed a picture to Yazzle Dazzle and she keeps saying "BUY IT!" too, but that could be because I keep spending a significant portion of our lunchtime coffee meet-ups procrastinating about whether to buy it or not and she just wants me to shut the hell up. 

So, here's the thing: to buy, or not to buy - that is the question.

I am going late-night shopping on Thursday so you have until then to cast your votes. And seriously, this time I actually plan on going through with it.


Tara said...

I like hats in the winter, but they give me hat hair when I take them off. But my ears are not frost bitten, I think that's the most important thing.

You should check out this link if you haven't already. I just found an idea for a Christmas gift for my brother and it looked like a cool website:

And no, I'm not spam.

CyberPete said...

I must say I am not into caps. I doesn't matter if it looks good or not or if it's so not but it opens up a big can of worms with the whole hip hop and street 'fashion' and I don't like that.

But I'm a snob that way.

WV: nonses

M said...

I think you should buy it, it will go perfectly with those hulk hand thingies you wore round the office at Summertime.

Although hat hair is an important issue to consider.

T-Bird said...

Get the Kryton one. That's not a request. It's an ORDER!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I must admit that I'm with 'Petra on this one. Although, I do quite like the Samson cap as an abstract item. And you're bound to make it look fantastic when you wear it it, but, as you said, will you wear it?

So, to sum up, you should get the Kryton one, as ordered by T-Bird.

Tim said...

Tara - That's pretty much my thoughts on hats - I only wear them for a reason. But I'm thinking I should branch out a bit because there are some nice hats out there.

Hey! We've got Urban Outfitters stores over here too! They do loads of great stuff!

Cyberpete - Are you worried I'd be sucked into the hippity-hoppity crowd?

M - I've still got the Hulk hands! I'd be a very dapper Hulk if I wore them and the hat! Hat hair's not too much of an issue as I've got short hair at the mo'.

T-Bird - Belay that order!

Inexplicable Device - Maybe I should purchase it as a piece of modern art?


watch*paint*dry said...

Does the hat come with the glass head? I am quite liking the glass head. Yeah I really like the glass head.
Buy it! Could I have the glass head if it comes with the hat?

Tim said...

Dude, if I buy it and it comes with a glass head, the glass head is totally yours!

CyberPete said...

I fear the day those hippiety hopperty ones take over. They are like rappers in pop songs.

One day you've got a rapper guest appearing on a Shakira song and the next the chart is filled with rap crap. Look at the cap as a symbol, or a gateway drug.

T-Bird said...

If by 'belay' you mean 'send another picture of Garrett' then why, yes, belay away.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Nike Mini-You is jigging around like a special. Perhaps you'd better let him out for a wee?

An Aside:

Back-handed compliment lady obviously fancied you.

She'll get her comeuppance, mark my words...

WV is replious. Something to do with replying, or reptiles? I'm hoping it's reptiles.

Tim said...

Cyberpete - Have you thought that maybe I could infiltrate the hippity-hoppity crowd and sway them over to the forces of good?

T-Bird - My god woman, you're gagging for Wang!

Inexplicable Device - As above.