Tuesday, November 04, 2008


So I'm off work this week and so far it's been a very enjoyable couple of days. And hopefully it's only going to get better from here on in.

Let's review, shall we?

This was the day that I actually sort of dread every year: MOT for my car - eek! OK, technically I'm being a bit of a drama queen here, but I was kind of burnt two years ago when my car went in for its first MOT and I ended up with a bill for 750 quid, which was a tad unexpected to say the least. 

OK, so it wasn't 750 smackers because the engine fell out onto a mechanic or something (which I would've been *really* pissed off about - at least the mechanic would've broken its fall though), but just because anything that could need replacing (i.e. tyres, brake pad, brake discs, that sorta thing) did need replacing. How nice of them to be so coordinated. 

Last year I distinctly recall bracing myself in the upright position for another massive bill, and was pleasantly surprised when it sailed through. But because of that I figured this year might be another expensive one.

So, I dropped my car into the dealer at about 08:20, then spent a good couple of hours talking Minis with the delightful sales lady I know. At one point she walked off to do something, and it's quite possible she came back to find me sitting in a Mini Clubman making "vroom-vroom" noises.

After that I walked to Uxbridge.

Now, the walk to Uxbridge takes a good 40 minutes or so, and this is with me still bearing the manky blisters inflicted on me last week by my posh shoes. I'd hoped they would've healed by now, and that me and posh shoes could be well on our way to reconciliation, but apparently that's not the case. On the plus side, I appear to have cruised through the both the bleeding and brown pus stages, and am now on light green pus; I hope to be at taupe by the end of the week.

An aside:

On Facebook I've got a little Nike+ Mini-me thingy that is supposed to track my progress and inspire me to work harder when I go running; apparently it can go from cheering you on to chastising you when you don't run for a while. Obviously I've not done any running since buggering my feet up, and this is what I found him doing today.

Patronising little bastard.

Anyway, I eventually made it to Uxbridge where I quickly came to the realisation that I've totally been spoilt by my brief trip to the Westfield shopping centre on Friday evening. Uxbridge has two shopping centres: one felt small and full of chavs, the other felt small and full of chavs and pound shops. I spent most of my time lurking in Starbucks regretting that I'd not seen fit to take my writing pad with me, and glancing over at some chavvy girl who was sitting in there drinking a milkshake she'd bought from some other shop down the street and giving evil looks to everyone around her.

My idea to start my Christmas shopping was nixed by the fact that I don't really know what to get people, and that HMV insists on charging outrageously high prices for things you can get online for a quarter of the price (and they wonder why people are deserting the high street?). On the other hand, as I began my walk back to the Mini dealer I did wonder who I could buy a massive tea cup and saucer for.

Two words: massive cups.

I walked incredibly slowly back to the dealers because last year when I did this I ended up sitting in there for another hour and a half or so because my car wasn't ready. To be honest, though, despite the pain in my feet I was actually enjoying the walk, and enjoying listening to some tunes on my iPhone.

When I eventually got back to the dealers I was surprised to see my car sitting outside, all sparkly and clean. This immediately filled me with hope because I'm not aware of any dealership that would valet a car before installing an entire new exhaust/rear subframe/gearbox. And - good times - it had passed its MOT. Doubly good times, in fact, because Yazzle Dazzle's motor - which I'm sure she won't mind me saying, has seen better days - sailed through its MOT and I would've been mortified if mine had failed.


Up early again today for a quick trip to Kingston to get my hair cut. If I'd done some forward thinking I actually could've had this done in Uxbridge because my regular girl is off so I'm not really terribly fussed who does my hair (as long as they're not a one-armed blind chimp with rage issues called 'Stabby'), but I didn't, so tough.

Anyway, I felt a little short-changed at first because the girl shampoo-ing me really skimped on the scalp massage bit, possibly because I anticipated the moment and looked like I was on the verge of having an aneurysm or something. Either way things perked up afterwards because I got into a fascinating conversation about religion with the lady cutting my hair. I know you shouldn't discuss either religion or politics in polite conversation, but when she called Jehovah's Witnesses "right weirdos" I couldn't help but tell her all about my favourite made-up religion, Scientology. I mean, really, if I was going to be religious in any way shape or form I'd totally be into Scientology. Any religion that lets you move things with the power of your mind and includes a fascinating story about an all-mighty alien called Xenu (Warrior Princess?) can't be all bad, right?

So, haircut. Now look, I'm actually a little bit nervous about breaking in a new hairdresser after so long with the same girl, but this one did alright (even if I did think she was going to go all Picasso on my right ear at one point). She actually went a bit shorter than I'd meant, but I've always wanted to try it short short, and it's still reasonably long enough that I can slap some product in it (when did we stop calling it gel/paste/putty/wax/mud) and make it all scruffy. Y'know, for when I'm trying to look all rascally.

After that I headed back to the car park, doing my utmost to avoid the shops (for reasons that will become apparent in just a little while). On the way I took a couple of photos:

This gull was just chilling by the Thames, which, incidentally, was a lovely brown colour today…

Look closely - is that a stealth boat?! Or something sent back from the future?! Whatever it is, it looks cool.

When I got home I faffed about for a while before finally deciding that, yes, I really did need to do some housework, and no, I couldn't put it off AGAIN. So I hoovered, mopped the floor downstairs (an unprecedented action based on the fact that my damp trainers left distinct footprints throughout the house on Saturday evening), and scrubbed the bathroom. To be honest it didn't actually take that long. I really should stop complaining about it.

And anyway, I totally just rewarded myself by sucking tea through three Tim Tams.


OK, so tomorrow I'm off Christmas shopping with Sparky Ma.

HA! Christmas shopping!?! Get real - *snaps* - we're shopping for ourselves! And if all goes to plan tomorrow I shall be posting about the winning t-shirt in my 'vote for t-shirts!' competition! Not that it was really a competition, more like I'm so indecisive that I asked you lot to decide for me.

I do hope I don't end up having to use the familiar "they didn't have my size" excuse that Marcosy accuses me of using all the time… Anyway, if you haven't voted, vote now! It's every bit as important as that presidential thingy going on in that unimportant faraway land that few people have heard of!!


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ha ha! Yay First!

I can read the post now that I've beaten 'Petra here.

Tara said...

I found a cool show on Bravo called "Tabatha’s Salon Takeover". This professional hairdresser goes into salons that are failing and being overrun by bad hairdressers and she slaps some sense into everyone and turns the place around. She would totally yell at the girl who shortchanged you with the shampoo massage and the one who almost picassoed your ear.

Tara said...

Oh and I vote for the T-shirt with The Joker on it.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Yay for MOT sailing! I'm a bit nervous about Car's, as it's due in a couple of weeks. Car has been behaving itself lately, so I'm sure I've got nothing to worry about.

* crosses fingers *

I'm liking the asides you've started to include in your recent posts - amusingly distracting. However, I'm not liking the pus, no matter what colour it is. I'm also disappointed to find a picture of a seagull instead of pics of your new hair cut. Please right this wrong forthwith.
Oh, and stealth boat looks dangerously cool!

I've already voted, but The Host and his two SubC's all vote for the Cookie Monster T-shirt, too. As does Cyfa and his SubC, so that's six votes from us!

missy&chrissy. said...

ooh, we were away for so long we almost missed the voting! how appropriate that we're casting our vote on election day and everything:

the cookie monster shirt.

T-Bird said...

You blisters are pustular? That's pretty impressive! It's your English Feet, I'll wager.

I'm glad you are enjoying your time off!

Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - Everyone's beaten Petra here!

Tara - That sounds like Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares over here. He goes to different restaurants and sorts out their problems. So it's essentially the same thing, but with food instead of hair.

And your vote is noted!

IDV 2 - I'm liking the asides too. I should've introduced them earlier, maybe in a pilot scheme or something. They're rating highly with the audience (you) so they'll no doubt stay.

Can I do a pus aside?

Thanks for your votes too, but DNA testing of your multiple personalities just makes it look like you're voting fraudulently.

Fingers crossed for Car too!

Missy&Chrissy - Damn right! It's voting all round today! And glad you're back!!

*goes off to see if Bear unleashed nunchucks at Mickey Mouse*

T-Bird - Totally! I concur, it's definitely my English feet. Just wait till you see what how my britches have chaffed my thighs!

CyberPete said...

we must see your new haircut.

It's always tricky with new hairdressers, the woman (not my usual) effed up my hair big time. I still can't style it like I want to.

WillowC said...

And the answer to the very important question is: me. You can get the impressively large mugs for me. I like them and have tea greed.

I don't trust hairdressers, I traipse all the way over to Baker Street to get mine done by the only woman in the world I will allow near my head, for the extortionate price of £65. She's moved now though, but was sweet enough to text me to let me know.

Dinah said...

I was going to say, don't you usually get your hair cut on your vacation? Good times. Mine is really long...well, not really. But it's longer than I think it should be right now.

I vote for Superman. For everything!

I've started Christmas shopping (of course). I tell myself I do it early so that I can plan and save, but I think I end up spending more in the long run.

T-Bird said...

Yes, actually. Get all three. You know you want to...

Plus - your pants are that tight that the chafe? Hmm.

watch*paint*dry said...

Ah Tim Tams.
Hobnobs just seem so dull now.

CyberPete said...

You are right WPD, Tims Tams make hobnobs pale in comparison.

Tim said...

Cyberpete - All in good time young man!

Willowc - Aren't they awesome! I think I might get a couple and invite someone over for tea, then try to make them think they're shrinking. Oh such fun!

I'll cut your hair for a tenner.

Dinah - I do - and I did! Do you want me to cut your hair too? You and Willowc together - two for 15?

T-Bird - Bad T-Bird! Stop encouraging me to spend recklessly!

No my pants don't chafe really. Or do they? I'm British and a gentleman usually doesn't complain about such things.

Watch*Paint*Dry - Do you remember those glorious days of dipping, sucking, and eating? Good times.

Cyberpete - Are you being cheeky again? I can't tell.

T-Bird said...

Wait, you're a gentleman?

Tim said...

That's a vicious rumour.

*grasps lapels and strikes a defiant pose*

CyberPete said...

would you prefer that?