Earlier this week I hatched plans with my pal Jo for an evening of food and movies round Sparky Towers; bizarrely, and quite rudely, I've never had her over for food - time to rectify that! The event was almost derailed by the postal strike, but fortunately Amazon came through and delivered the evening's planned DVD bang on time, and after both of us having a bit of a rubbish week at work, we were massively looking forward to chillaxing on my awesome sofa for the evening. The whole thing was planned out with almost militeristic precision:
• Some awesome food.
• An awesome movie.
• The taking of some saucy photographs.
Oh yeah…
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Tim catches up with this week's Scrubs while waiting for Jo. Jo arrives, and Tim slaps the burgers in the oven. Probably need to open the door first, doofus! Nice baps! Let's see a thumbs-up soldier! The burgers are done and everything is officially awesome! Mmmmm… Looks at those beefy bastards - is that gorganzola oozing out the top? You better believe it! The burgers are assembled - BRING ON THE CHIPS! Quit your bitchin' and get in my kitchen - dinner is served! Now you see it… … Ta-daaaa! Now you don't. Uh-oh - someone looks fit to burst! But wait, there's more! Hooray for pudding! If that's not a cream-filled coronary waiting to happen I don't know what is. Bring on the movie! Ooo, spooky! And let's record the event for posteri- Alright, who blinked?! Good grief - how unprofessional! Take two! That's more like it. -----
Oh, wait. I expect you want to see the saucy pictures too, huh? Well, OK then! Let me bring you up to speed first, though: basically, my other friend who is also rather confusingly called Jo, told me the other day that she having to do a presentation on scalpel safety. Yes, safety when using a scalpel (health and safety gone crazy? Discuss!). Anyway, as part of this she is having to do a presentation, and I said she should totally subvert it by having a massive picture of someone flipping the bird, but looking like they've had a scalpel-based accident. She thought it was an awesome idea, so with the aid of other Jo (are you keeping up to speed with this?), and a bottle of ketchup, I did these photos for her:
Watch out for me as the hot new face of scalpel safety! Rawr!
31 comments:
FIRST!!!! Who's your Daddy?
You kitchen looks really cool! Nice baps indeed...
Good grief, what's next: The Danger of Paper Cuts??
T-Bird - Thanks, I've been working out!
Willowc - I think THAT would be totally justified.
Well if anything's going to frighten the kids into cutting squares out of paper with all due care, it's the mess you've made of that finger. Truly frightening.
Tasted delicious though!
Oh my gods! I've nearly got the same kitchen as you! Except that I've got the black granite worktop because I chickened out of getting the blue because I feared it didn't go with the red walls.
I'm glad I was right.
Ha!
And I bet you thought I was going to say something pervy and lascivious what with all those... Really... Hot... Pictures... Of...
* faints *
* thud *
Good grief, are you dissing my kitchen, wench!?
RUDE.
I'll have you know that's the one leftover from when stupid-girl-who-used-to-own-Sparky-Towers lived here; I was going to change it, but figured that a telly and a sofa were far more important. I actually *hated* the kitchen when I first moved in and intended to change it ASAP, but I've grown used to it, and it doesn't offend me so much any more.
Anyway, just for that, your perving allowance is withdrawn. Muwahaha!
For how long?! You can't just snatch it away like that. Surely you have to notify me in writing? Or at least give me seven days notice?
Surely?
Shirly?
Apologise to the kitchen and you can have it back.
And (obvious joke alert), don't call me Shirley.
* sigh *
Very well: I'm sorry Tim's Kitchen. Truly, I am. It's just that... that... I'm colourblind!
There. I've admitted it.
* looks around for comfort *
* perhaps to be held tightly... closely... until I feel better *
Ooh, I'm feeling faint again. I should lay down. This breakfast bar is pretty wide. Two could fit on here...
Good grief! I'm not having you spread-eagling yourself across my breakfast bar! That's for … breakfast!
Mmmm. Breakfast.
I wish my breakfast bar was that big. Actually, it's more of a bench. *sadness*
Are you inviting me to stay for breakfast, Tim?
Are you saying that I should be spread-eagled somewhere else *coughs*yourbed*coughs*?
Well, I never thought you'd be so... so forward.
I accept!
(Don't worry T-Bird - I haven't even got a breakfast bar)
IDV - you are shameless and I LOVE IT!
For once I am going to decline from joining in with the pervy comments, and just say that dinner at Sparky Towers looks awesome!!! Maybe it's my preoccupation with food, but the sexualness in those photos was lost on me, I just kept seeing burgers, chips, pudding, sauce....
Oh and Zodiac, which I thought was wickedace.
Burgers, chips.....mmmm......
T-Bird - I wish my breakfast bar was a bit smaller. Just after I bought the place I asked Sparky Pa if he'd cut lump off it with his dremal. He looked at me like I was a crazy and said "no."
Inexplicable Device - Good lord! No! Stop this instant, you're putting me off my Ricicles!
T-Bird - He's desperate and you can have him! Seriously, I could box him up and send him over if you'd like…
iPandah - You're back! A voice of reason, thank heavens! Yes, the food was luvverly, and the movie was just as good on DVD as it was at the cinema; perhaps even more so as having read the book a couple of months back my understanding of the case was heightened to … new heights!
You'd better be careful with posting food photos, or your whole blogging audience is gonna show up at your door! That's a lot of food to prepare. :D Those burgers look really tasty.
Tara - That's a good point - next time I'll replace the good stuff with pictures of dog food or something. That'll keep everyone at bay!
(the burgers were *awesome*)
Ooohh... I feel a bit funny. I think I've got some shame?
Well, I don't like it, so it's got to go!
* rrrrgggh mmmmpff - snap - *
There! It's gone. I'm shameless again.
* looks forward to next batch of photos *
What is this human emotion called … shame?
It's the distant cousin of overindulgence and sauciness...
Does … not … compute…!
Oh, for gods sake, post something new! I'm looking at these pictures too much - Nothing's getting done. Housework, gardening, eating... Nothing.
Well. Almost nothing...
Oh man that's brilliant... The shocked look on your face when confronted by Bleeding Finger would put De Niro to shame!
Or Jim Carey.
IDV - Ugh! Worst. Mental. Image. EVAH.
Skillz - Dude, I owe all my powers to the Shatner school of … acting!
IDV - Keep 'em coming, poppet!
Tim: Next... generation... something about... Data!
IDV - No, don't keep them coming at all! Keep them right where they are!
T-Bird - There's Something About Data - is that a 24th century Farrelly Brothers comedy?
Yes, it's a comedy of errors about the fuuutuuure's most expensive adult toy... Data.
He's fully functional!
Good. Then he can come and vacuum my carpet. And wash Car.
"Worst. Mental. Image. EVAH" I'm not sure I understand?
I only meant I've been kept busy attempting to wipe off all the sauce...
I basically meant you're a pervert. Look, there's a new post now, bugger off there.
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