Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Gym class zeros

I had a phone call on Friday from my old gym - y'know, the one I left back in January.

"Hello," said this lovely lady from the other end. "I was just calling to find out why you haven't been to the gym for a while."

"Well," I replied, a little taken aback. "It's because I left. In January."

"Oh," she said. Now, this actually made me a little sad, because I don't like to upset people, and in the 15 seconds of our conversation thus far I'd warmed to this lady quite considerably.

There was a pause.

"Can I ask why?"

I then proceeded to tell her that my situation had changed, and I was finding it more convenient to go running theses days.

"Ooo, that's good," she said. "How often do you go running?"

"About three or four times a week."

"Gosh. And how far do you go - if you don't mind me asking?"

"Not at all. About 3-4 miles. I've got a little route."

"That's brilliant."


"Would you consider coming back to the gym?"

"No, not really."


"Well, maybe if I found myself with a bit more time. Maybe then I'd think about it."

"Marvelous! Well, I'll let you get on - thanks very much for talking to me. And good luck with the running."

Bless her. Anyway, this morning I got an envelope in the post that contained one free gym pass, a pool timetable, and more free pool passes than I can shake a frikkin' stick at. I know what her game is, the cheeky little minx - she evidently had a hot flush after our flirtatious conversation, and clearly wants to cop an eyeful of me poolside in mah speedos. Rawr!


Good god - it's gotten cold over the last few days; I pulled back my curtains the other day to find Sparky Towers enshrouded in fog. And today I had to put on my heated front and rear windscreens before driving off. Most vexing! What's been really annoying, though, is that the heating buggered up in the office and I was freezing my chesticles off yesterday. I had a brief respite in Secret Starbucks at lunchtime, which was super-toasty, but then plunged into the icy depths again in the afternoon.

I massively layered-up today, and dug my awesome scarf out of storage, even if I do think it's a little too early for it. Maybe it's because we had a super-crappy summer, but I just can't get it into my head that we're fast approaching winter. Hell, the clock's go back this weekend! That might help me get in the winter mood - I actually quite like the dark mornings and evenings; it makes me feel all cosy.

I kind of hope we have a proper cold winter. Nothing wishy-washy. Bring. It. On.

(Until it gets really cold and I write a massively long moany post complaining about it)


Let the good times roll - Yaz started work back in Hammersmith today, so we met up for a reunion coffee at lunchtime. It was classic Tim/Yaz time, mostly because we couldn't find an empty table so she used her magic powers of persuasion to convince some old bloke that he should a) let us share his table, then b) go away.


The afternoon reached immeasurably giddy heights when I bought one of the new Wispa bars, and the coffee bags that iPandah promised to send me turned up - hurrah!

I almost had a Wispa-based incident though; the postie has been carelessly leaving post for our neighbours in the office, so I, being the good-natured chap I am, went to put it through their letterbox. Thing is, I was clutching said Wispa at this point, and almost posted that through too. I managed to catch it at the last minute, which is good because I would've felt a complete doofus if I had to ring their doorbell and ask for my chocolate bar back.

The coffee bags are an interesting thing - as the name suggests they're bags of coffee (proper coffee, not cheapo crap stuff), but they're disconcertingly massive - about three times the size of a teabag. It was like dipping a saggy old scrotum in water (I'd imagine). On the plus side, it made an awesome cup of coffee, so many thanks iPandah! Expect something in return at an undesignated point in the futuuuuuuuuuuuure!


WillowC said...

I just coughed up a piece of fried potato in merriment at the scrotum bag. Just thought I'd share!

I do envy you your Yaz lunches though, I was dead lonely today without her :(

Tim said...

I'm not sure which is more gross - old scrotums or coughed-up potatoes. Answers on a postcard.

As for Yaz… She's mine, all MIIIIINE!!!!


iPandah said...

No problemo! They really are MASSIVE, which is difficult to come to terms with when you're already used to tea bags. Glad you approve though, it's my good deed for the day :0)

Did you like the card? I couldn't find a sci-fi one at such short notice. And it might have looked a bit messy cos I normally write joined up, but was worried you wouldn't be able to read it, so I concentrated reeeeaaallly hard (I did that whole poking my tongue out thing) and kept each letter separate. Good job I don't work, it took ages.

iPandah said...

I just read your email, ignore my random comments! :0)

Tim said...

Dude, it's your good deed for three days seeing as you sent me three! Actually, with the card - which I loved! - you can tack another week on!

That's a whole 10 days of good deediness!

Tara said...

Ahhh, so THAT'S a Wispa! As soon as I saw "Cadbury" I knew it was something good. No, you don't want to give a chocolate bar to someone else by accident.

I'm glad you gave the gym lady a little ray of home that perhaps someday you might come back to the gym. You probably made her day.

Tara said...

When I wrote "home" I meant "hope"..ray of hope.

Tim said...

Yeah, that's a Wispa! Strangely, it wasn't as good as I remember it being. I always prefered Aero bars anyway - but I'm still glad I didn't post it through the letterbox!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Wispas? Winter? Massive coffee bags?


I believe there's only one point of interest in this post, and that's: Copping an eyeful of you poolside in your* speedos. Rawr!

Now, tell me, which pool is it that you'll be visiting?

* I was going to change your 'm' into a 'y', but 'yah' was too common/chavvy for me to utter.

Tim said...

Good grief, you're an easily pleased little perve, ain't ya? Er, you.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Why, yes I am.

So. Where is it then?

Tim said...

You do know you're going to be waiting an awfully long time, don't you?

Inexplicable DeVice said...

* sigh *

I guess so.

* gets out sudoku - the really difficult ones *

Tim said...

You might need the *really, REALLY* difficult ones.

And by 'might' I mean 'need.'

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Or perhaps you meant 'will'?

Tim said...

Now you're getting the idea!