Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Catching up

Yes, yes, I know, I've been a bad-blogger AGAIN. This is why I don't have kids - I'd forever be putting them to one side while I go off and do other things, then *BAM!* it's three days later and they're up to their waist in poopy.

Anyway, I've got good reason for my absence. Well, not exactly good, because it's been predominantly work-based; basically I've got next week off, so as usual I'm working like a blue-arsed fly to get everything done not only for this week, but also for next. Humph. Let's review the events of the last few days, though.

Sunday:
Sunday was spent doing everything I'd planned to do on Saturday before I was thrown back to cro-magnon times by the lack of electrickery. And this entailed preparing myself for the imminent purchase of a BRAND. NEW. iMAC. Basically, I've decided that if I'm going to be getting a new Mac and an iPhone (at some point), I want to use them to the full extent of their abilities, so I spent a good few hours updating all my address book contents ready for full-on syncing good times. And yes, that means if I've got any contact details for you I've either raided my iPhoto files or your Facebook page for embarrassing photos to sit alongside your phone numbers and email addresses. You sexy lot. Rawr!

I also set up a Gmail account, on account of the fact that they're shit-hot on the whole iPhone-mobile-tinternet thing. Hell, I even became an expert in IT by sorting out all my POP settings AND solving a 'send mail' issue. I'm not afraid to say I felt like a genius that day. If anyone wants my glorious new addy, it's over there on the right.

Monday:
BEST. READER. EVAH. I picked up a phone call on Monday morning from a reader of one of our new magazines - he wanted to ask about how to get hold of future issues. He was a rather posh-sounding older gentleman, and I answered his questions as best I could. Satisfied, he then said "oh, I'm so glad you've been able to help, because I f**king love that magazine."

I promptly burst out laughing, and subsequently spent the next 10 minutes on the phone to him, during which time he swore like a trooper while regaling me with various stories about himself. Towards the end of the conversation, he told me that he was 60 next year, then asked how old I was.

"Thirty in a couple of weeks," I replied.

"Oh. You poor bugger. Shall I tell you something about growing old?" he said.

"Go on then."

"Well, there are three things about growing old. The first one is that you start to loose your memory."

"Uh huh…" I said.

"And … well, I can't f**king remember the other two."

He was awesome. I hope he calls back sometime.

Tuesday:
Met up with Scanner and Yaz for coffee at lunchtime. We were midway through a delightful conversation about … lord, I don't know, ninja-kittens or something, when a diminutive hobo came and stood by our table.

"I've had enough!" he shouted.

Yaz looked at him, and with a completely straight face and a flick of her ciggie, replied "yeah, me too."

He then went into some sort of weird rant about how he'd been to Heaven and met God, and he wanted to fight God, all while prodding Scanner on the arm. I just sat their thinking how he bore an uncanny resemblance to Ian Holm as Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings, if Bilbo had had wild hair and a grubby shoelace holding his trousers up. Eventually Scanner had enough of the hobo's prodding.

"I've had enough!" he shrieked before jumping up and shouting "f**k off!"

Bilbo seemed a bit put out by this, and shuffled off. I think he took rather a shine to Scanner.

Wednesday:
Lordy, today's been a weird one. For reasons I won't dip into too much, we've been working on a super-massive chronology of the Vulcan race for our latest issue, and it's pretty much pushed me and my colleague in all things Star Trek to breaking point; it was definitely our Everest. After two days in design-land, I finally got my grubby little hands on it late yesterday afternoon, at which point I decided I'd throw myself into it and not stop until it was done. I eventually finished at 2:30am this morning, at which point my dingers were fitting all the krong weys, and I decided I never wanted to see the word 'Vulcan' ever again.

My last act before closing it down and popping it back on the server was to write a large note off to the side of the layout saying 'WE ARE NEVER DOING ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.'

Fortunately, after sleeping in a bit and wandering into the office at about 11 this morning, my frame of mind was rather less fragile, and we subsequently spent the day tarting it up a bit more and fact-checking the behemoth. Thank God it's done now - I hope it looks awesome in print, and that there's not a caption left on it that reads 'it's 2:30 and I want my mummy…'

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And finally… In response to a photo-request from the delightful iPandah, I'm proud to present my Apple OS X Leopard t-shirt. Or iShirt. Or maybe iTee. Whatever - here's my freebie top:

Nice, huh? It's an American Apparel t-shirt too. None of this cheapo nonsense from Steve Jobs, I tells ya.

20 comments:

WillowC said...

I demand to know what picture of me pops up if I call. Do I get my own feem toon as well? I'd like the Wacaday song, please. Or perhaps I could record you your very own version of me giggling helplessly, for immediate identification.

p.s. it's still just you makes me do that.
p.p.s. I've had lots of margherita :D

Tara said...

I really like that IShirt! Just the right about of cool colors, too. Oh and I like the Facebook headshot you have off to the side there. Nice hat!

When is your birthday again? November's calendar is up on my blog, but I can still add your birthday!

Dinah said...

Oh, I just read when your birthday was, too! I was combing through the archives looking for when you read Charlotte Simmons (you did, right?) and failed miserably.

You and the Old guy should get your own TV show! Like Tuesdays With Morrie, but with more swearing.

Tim said...

Willowc - It's the picture of you with the menu in front of your face. Weren't you full of margheritas then too?

And no, you won't have a custom ringtone. No one will. I *hate* custom ringtones. HATE THEM!

Plus, my phone's usually set to vibrate anyway.

I might have to take you up on the helpless giggling, though. I could just put the sound file in my iTunes and you'd pop up between songs by Lynryd Skynryrd and The Killers.

Tara - It's a nice one, huh? I usually refuse to wear any freebie merchandise because they a) usually don't fit right, and b) usually look rubbish. This one looks cool, although it has been mistaken as a promotional item for a) The X-Files, b) The X-Men, and c) The X-Factor.

Glad you like the hat! It serves the dual purpose of keeping my head warm and my headphones in during winter! My birthday is Nov 10th!

Dinah - I did read Charlotte Simmons! God, I really liked that book. I think I started reading it in late October and finished it, or at least wrote about it, in early December.

I *so* don't want to meet that old guy again - though I would like to see him fight God. Maybe in a Street Fighter II-stylee. That would be awesome.

50 quatloos on God!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I *knew* I made you vibrate with delight when I text/call!

Kudos on pleasing the posh, sweary old man - he sounds great! I love it when old people swear. So rude.
I might have a look out for the Vulcan thing - I do like all things Vulcan. Except for that interstellar strumpet T'Pol - When will she leave poor Trip alone?!

missy&chrissy said...

very nice for a free shirt - did you get a leopard balloon too? i happened to be in a computer store earlier this week, and i noticed a giant display of gold leopard-spotted balloons, heralding the apple display. they were pretty awesome....

as i was exiting the store with my ratty old toshiba, i didn't think they'd let me have - or even go near! - the shiny apple leopard balloon display, so i'm hoping you got one with your purchase and i can live vicariously through you.

iPandah said...

That man wasn't Sir Digby Chicken Caesar was he?

Loving the iTee, I'm certainly pleased they went for a spacey background, it's as if they had us all in mind when they designed it! Good work! Nicely modelled too, as per usual!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Call me a heathen, but what the Hell is all this Apple Leopard stuff?

Really?

Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - No, you've got a ring tone; it's the music from Psycho.

As for T'Pol… well, I'm kinda hoping she's leaving Trip alone now - he's dead!

Missy&Chrissy - A balloon!? Good grief!! No, I didn't - they didn't even have them!! That's it - I'm going back there next week to get me a balloon!

iPandah - If only!

As for the iTee, I'm glad they went for a space background. I'd probably be less inclined to wear it if it was all-over Leopard print.

IDV - Heathen. iPandah, do you want to explain all to this simpleton?

T-Bird said...

Umm. I don't get any of this Apple Leopard stuff either.

Sorry, I am using a Toshiba these days.

Tim said...

Eek! Not you too, T-Bird!

iPandah - assistance required in sector 7-G!

missy&chrissy said...

t-bird, does your toshiba overheat and shut down constantly? or is that just a special feature that only us lucky ones over at loveandcyanide get to enjoy...

Dinah said...

Ugh, not Toshibas too? My Dell kept spazzing and shutting down so I bought a new Toshiba. It makes a lot of whirring noises.

I also smile along and nod unknowingly at all this Leopard talk. At first I thought it was a Leopard-print laptop. Turns out...it's not?

iPandah said...

My gods, it's worse than I thought! Surely EVERYONE knows about Leopard?!!!

Okay well, 'Leopard' is the latest version of Apple's OS X (that's 'Operating System 10' in laymens terms), which to you PC users (heathens) is the Mac equivalent of 'Windows'. The previous version was called 'Tiger,' before that 'Panther,' the reason for which, I don't know, but, they obviously like big cats up there in Apple HQ and why the hell not!

It's EXCITING, because unlike Microsoft, who only put out new versions of software every 20 years or so, Mac put super duper spanky fab new stuff on theirs each time, and the stuff they come up with is so brilliant you can't help but be in AWE.

Then, whilst Mac have all this cool stuff out and people are loving it, Microsoft think to themselves, "Ooh, we haven't done much for a while, maybe we should put out a new OS too?" At which point they look at all the Mac stuff, work out how to do it, then rip most of it off and FINALLY launch their own 'new' software calling it something like, ooh let's see, 'Vista?' But, because they're Microsoft and are all about money, they launch 10 different versions of 'Vista', so that even though their 'new' apps might be quite good (cos they were OURS!), they get lost in a sea of different packs (Family Pack, Home Pack, Office Pack, School Pack etc.)

PLUS, because we all KNOW they ripped Mac off, they look a little crap, especially because when they first announced it to the world at the web conference, when they demonstrated it, it crashed and wouldn't work, so people decided they'd just go and buy Macs instead, which they did.

And that's pretty much the Apple/Leopard thing. Or rather, that's why you should buy Macs and not PCs.

WillowC said...

That was daiquiris. But I see your point...

Tim said...

Missy&Chrissy - Just go get a Mac. You might get a balloon too!

Dinah - Bless you and your Leopard naivete.

iPandah - In my role as Mayor of the Universe, I'm totally appointing you Queen of all that is Apple.

Willowc - Same thing - you were clearly smashed both times.

T-Bird said...

Missy and Chrissy - It doesn't overheat, but my power converters (not the ones from Tashi station - the one that plugs into the wall) always just... dies for some reason. And then I get a message "critical battery" and then it shuts down! Argh!!

Maybe I should get an Apple next. I'd have to rent it for tax reasons, though.

T-Bird said...

and iPanda - you explained apple so well, I think I am going to have to get one!

Dinah said...

that was really good. I should have chosen that topic for my IT presentation instead of social computing.

Meanwhile, I hate Vista, because it sucks. And I want my Windows XP back. Even though XP looks like one of those emoticons where someone's angry and sticking out their tongue.

Tim said...

Yeeeeeees, yeeeeeees! Listen to you all - turning on Windows in an instant! Apple is the way forward!

(I sound like Emperor Palpatine)

Seriously, though, once you've tried Apple, you never go back. My first computer was a lappy PC, and it eventually got to the point where it was so hot the plastic surface would bubble up and peel off. Grim. I literally found the first two weeks with a Mac confusing before I realised that I was overthinking how to use it because I was thinking of it as being a PC. It then became sooooo intuitive. And nice. And pretty.

And if you really must, you can run Windows on it as well!

iPandah - I think our work is done.