Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Schmidt-canned

OK, so there's a good reason why I haven't posted anything over the last few days - I've been watching the entire second season of Boston Legal: god, I *love* this show. I think it might be my new OC (which probably means it'll be axed at the end of the fourth season). And before you say anything, I don't just like it because William Shatner is in it; that used to be the case, but I've grown to appreciate it's many virtues beyond the inimitable Denny Crane. James Spader, for example; I never used to be a fan, but his performance as Alan Shore is just sublime - and don't even get me started on the magic that is the Shatner-Spader double act: TV gold.

I'm also finding myself strangely attracted to Candice Bergen, who plays Shirley Schmidt, she of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt fame. She's a sassy old gal who proves to be the perfect foil for Shatner and Spader. I like the way she articulates her words. And how she peers over her glasses. Rawr!

What I'm really liking about the show, though, is the way it manages to be both comedic and intelligent. Quite often I found myself rewinding Alan Shore's closing speeches - covering everything from the Iraq war to poverty - to enjoy them on various different levels. It's a quality show.

This is not one of Alan Shore's closing speeches, but it is one of my favourite Denny moments.



All this Boston Legal watching has had a bit of an effect on me, however. I've started saying my name over and over like Denny Crane, and I've got an overwhelming desire to re-train as a lawyer. Of course I won't, because I really can't be arsed to go through years of law school, but also because I know that in the real-world it simply wouldn't be as fun as the BL team make it look; it's probably really boring and tedious. That said, I do like the idea of saying "objection" all the time, and using the phrase "in perpituity" whenever possible, most likely in the office. Marcosy and I also think we need to have a balcony scene like those featured at the end of every episode, where Shatner and Spader smoke cigars and drink scotch.


I think we probably wouldn't dress as flamingoes, though. Although I do have the legs for it.

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You can't say I don't live like a king, and this manifested itself in my choice of dinner tonight: microwave noodles. I had a bit of an urge for noodles, y'see, and the idea of microwaving anything always excites me. Anyway, the cooking instructions were fairly easy: open top, fill with water to 'fill level,' bang in microwave. Not wanting to make life easy for me, though, I stumbled a bit at step two: the f**kin' noodles float when you add the water, making it a bit difficult to judge the correct water-to-noodle ratio. I eventually sorted it though, mainly by not caring and just microwaving it regardless. Tasted alright too, although I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I saw them again before I go to bed tonight.

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Ooo, by the way - how bionic are you? I'm upto 76%.

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My return to work after an awesome week off has been an unmitigated success, if by 'unmitigated success' you mean I don't really remember what I'm supposed to be doing. Here's where my Denny Crane-isms can come into play: it's the mad cow disease. Any-hoo, I did have a most bizarre experience today. There's an old biddy who lives near the office who is notorious for butting into other people's business; she's shouted at me in the street for listening to my iPod, engaged a group of us in random conversation about classical music, and has a go at little kids for riding their scooters. Well, today the mad bint topped her own league of crazy: I was chatting to Janice, queen of the office, mistress of stationary in the street at lunchtime, when the old bat rolls up near us (she uses a walking frame). "Aaaaah!" she yells, "hello young lovers!" before wandering off leaving Janice in hysterics and me going "huh?"

Clearly I'm not the only one with mad cow. Crazy old bitch.

9 comments:

Willow said...

What the hell is it with you and testicles today? Everywhere I see your name, the word 'testicles' is sure to follow. It's becoming something of a worry.

Tim said...

I refer the honorable lady to an earlier post HERE.

But recently it's all related to that Boston Legal quote. I can start on boobs if you would prefer.

Willow said...

Testicle Tim, the Breast Man of Britain.

p.s. When *isn't* Janice laughing? She's as bad as I am!

Tara said...

I didn't do so well with the bionic thing yet, I'm only 28% bionic. I shall try again later.

And that old biddy sounds much like the one that works across the hallway from me. She has a little scooter and she talks to herself and whoever is nearby and happens to hear her talking to herself gets pulled into her world involuntarily.

Tim said...

Willow - What happened to your 'C'?

I think we might have to play the testicle game again soon - it has been almost a year since we did it first…

Tara - Ooo, yes, that's about the same as having a hip replacement. Give it another whirl!

As for the crazy lady, I'm glad I'm not the only plagued by nutters! Why are these people free to roam the streets? I don't want to be drawn into crazy world!!

Dinah said...

Hee. Young lovers. I love random comments almost as much as I love overhearing things on the street.

I love loving a TV show. I've never seen Boston Legal but it sounds like a lot of fun.

I love a lot of things today, eh?

Tim said...

Dinah - you're clearly in love with the world. Good for you!

Willow said...

:( I don't know, I can't c it either

(Ahem, sorry...)

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Tim! That's a terrible word! Testicle...

Heh heh! Actually, I don't know why I'm laughing: I'm only 43% bionic. I had a bit of a spackattack during the last two tests - I couldn't understand what was going on! Perhaps it's for the best?