Friday, August 10, 2007

Choose your own adventure: The return

So, regular readers might recall that back in October last year we played a little game that I liked to call 'choose your own adventure.' The idea at the time was to make it a regular thing (or "thang" if I'm talking in a Southern twang; occasionally I like talking in a Southern twang), but for some reason or another it fell by the wayside. But fear not, you kerrrrazy kids: IT'S BACK!

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The rules:
Below is an outline of my day, with 20 words omitted and replaced by a sexy number. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to fill in the blanks to make my day sound as super-sexily-exciting or mildly demented as possible. Post your answers as a comment, either by listing the numbers and the words that replace them, or by pasting the entire thang (thing) into a comment with your words in place.

Get it? Got it? Good!

Yee-haaaaar!

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I woke up pretty early this morning, but decided that I would spend just a little more time in [1], eventually leaving at around 7:50. I was halfway to work by the time I realised that I'd forgotten to put on any [2], which worried me a bit because it was a hot day. Things didn't improve by the time I got to the office because [3] was waiting outside. Despite this, I made a [4], and got lots done over the course of the morning, which was good. At lunchtime I met Yaz and we went to [5] where I had an awesome [6]. The [7] were quizzing me about my [8], but I didn't give them much information.

Things went well in the afternoon too; I managed to get a load of stuff done for [9], and even sorted out some [10]. The most exciting thing, though, was that I declared [11] on [12]. To be honest, I think I'll win purely because there's more of us [13], and it was just [14] and two [15] upstairs. Maybe I should just plant my [16] in their [17]?

I left work at around five, jumped in the [18], and drove home, where I had a [19] and chips for dinner. Now I think I might go wash my [20]; lord knows, I haven't done it in ages and it looks filthy.

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Over to you, peep-holes!

16 comments:

Tara said...

I woke up pretty early this morning, but decided that I would spend just a little more time in shock therapy, eventually leaving at around 7:50. I was halfway to work by the time I realised that I'd forgotten to put on any scuba gear, which worried me a bit because it was a hot day. Things didn't improve by the time I got to the office because a pirate was waiting outside. Despite this, I made a clone, and got lots done over the course of the morning, which was good. At lunchtime I met Yaz and we went to Mars where I had an awesome lunar bike ride. The sea monkeys were quizzing me about my iPummel, but I didn't give them much information.

Things went well in the afternoon too; I managed to get a load of stuff done for William Shatner, and even sorted out some jellybeans. The most exciting thing, though, was that I declared nuclear war on the resident association. To be honest, I think I'll win purely because there's more of us bikers, and it was just one old lady and two chain-smoking astronauts upstairs. Maybe I should just plant my venus flytrap in their toilets?

I left work at around five, jumped in the space capsule, and drove home, where I had a tamale and chips for dinner. Now I think I might go wash my pair of beer goggles; lord knows, I haven't done it in ages and it looks filthy.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I woke up pretty early this morning, but decided that I would spend just a little more time intimately touching myself, eventually leaving at around 7:50. I was halfway to work by the time I realised that I'd forgotten to put on anything, which worried me a bit because it was a hot day. Things didn't improve by the time I got to the office because IDV was waiting outside. Despite this, I made a baby cry, and got lots done over the course of the morning, which was good. At lunchtime I met Yaz and we went to 1987 where I had an awesome quiff. The Spandau Ballet boys were quizzing me about my eyeliner, but I didn't give them much information.

Things went well in the afternoon too; I managed to get a load of stuff done for gnomekind, and even sorted out some belly-button fluff (not my own, I hasten to add). The most exciting thing, though, was that I declared myself King on the news. To be honest, I think I'll win purely because there's more of us kingons, and it was just Margaret Thatcher and two queeons upstairs. Maybe I should just plant myself in their midst?

I left work at around five, jumped in the batmobile, and drove home, where I had a peasant and chips for dinner. Now I think I might go wash my ivory tower; lord knows, I haven't done it in ages and it looks filthy.

The Cat in the Hat Denies any Culpability said...

You totally were asking for this:

I woke up pretty early this morning, but decided that I would spend just a little more time in [penis], eventually leaving at around 7:50. I was halfway to work by the time I realised that I'd forgotten to put on any [penis], which worried me a bit because it was a hot day. Things didn't improve by the time I got to the office because [penis] was waiting outside. Despite this, I made a [penis], and got lots done over the course of the morning, which was good. At lunchtime I met Yaz and we went to [penis] where I had an awesome [penis]. The [penises] were quizzing me about my [penis], but I didn't give them much information.

Things went well in the afternoon too; I managed to get a load of stuff done for [penis], and even sorted out some [penis]. The most exciting thing, though, was that I declared [penis] on [penis]. To be honest, I think I'll win purely because there's more of us [penises], and it was just [penis] and two [penises] upstairs. Maybe I should just plant my [penis] in their [penis]?

I left work at around five, jumped in the [penis], and drove home, where I had a [penis] and chips for dinner. Now I think I might go wash my [penis]; lord knows, I haven't done it in ages and it looks filthy.

You are a dirty, dirty man.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

And that's how we can tell this is live.

Penis!

Tim said...

Tara - I NEVER leave home without scuba gear!

Inexplicable Device - Aside from the mention of me 'touching myself' (pervert), this was remarkably restrained for you.

Mysterious-stranger-who-can't-possibly be-T-Bird-despite-a-number-of-remarkable-similarities - You're ALL about the penis, huh?

Will said...

Too lazy, but 19's gotta be "chicken kiev".

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I was doing some pretty serious lip-biting, let me tell you.

Of course, there's always the possibility that I'll give in to temptation and drop my restraint...

Dinah said...

I woke up pretty early this morning, but decided that I would spend just a little more time in dreamland, eventually leaving at around 7:50. I was halfway to work by the time I realised that I'd forgotten to put on any pants, which worried me a bit because it was a hot day. Things didn't improve by the time I got to the office because Jesus was waiting outside. Despite this, I made a friend, and got lots done over the course of the morning, which was good. At lunchtime I met Yaz and we went to Pizza Hut where I had an awesome nap. The Gorgons were quizzing me about my invisibility cloak, but I didn't give them much information.

Things went well in the afternoon too; I managed to get a load of stuff done for The Leader, as he likes to be called, and even sorted out some laundry I had brought to work in the off-chance I had some time to fold it. The most exciting thing, though, was that I declared my love for my new friend Jesus on the streetcar. To be honest, I think I'll win purely because there's more of us who love to hate Facebook, and it was just one hamster and two jumping beans upstairs. Maybe I should just plant my shovel in their garden patch?

I left work at around five, jumped in the time machine where I then lived out my day again, and then I left work at around five and jumped in the DeLorean and drove home, where I had a buffalo and chips for dinner. Now I think I might go wash my front door; lord knows, I haven't done it in ages and it looks filthy.


It was really, really hard not to use penis for about half of these.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I woke up pretty early this morning, but decided that I would spend just a little more time indulging in sin, eventually leaving at around 7:50. I was halfway to work by the time I realised that I'd forgotten to put on any anti-witch spray, which worried me a bit because it was a hot day. Things didn't improve by the time I got to the office because IDV was waiting outside. Despite this, I made a play for him, and got lots done over the course of the morning, which was good. At lunchtime I met Yaz and we went to Castle DeVice where I had an awesome (ahem) massage. The flying monkeys were quizzing me about my flushed face, but I didn't give them much information.

Things went well in the afternoon too; I managed to get a load of stuff done, forgetting I was naked, and even sorted out some clingy and revealing underwear. The most exciting thing, though, was that I declared Witchface is the one for me on one knee. To be honest, I think I'll win purely because there's more of us hot & hunky Blog Boys than IDV knows what to do with, and it was just me and two poofs upstairs. Maybe I should just plant my seed(s of doubt) in their heads?

I left work at around five, jumped in the manner of a spacker, and drove home, where I had a quick fantasy about Boy Sex and chips for dinner. Now I think I might go wash my bed linen; lord knows, I haven't done it in ages and it looks filthy.

There, Tim. Is that more like what you were expecting?

Tim said...

Will - I wish. I've got a right urge for a chicken kiev now.

Inexplicable Device - Keep away from my lips.

Dinah - I can't imagine you slapping 'penis' in there. It was lovely just the way it was.

Inexplicable Device again - Oh. My. God. PURE FILTH! Sometimes I think you can't go any further than you already have, then BANG! You sail right on through, cranking your filth filter up to 11.

You are a bad, bad man. I'm getting a restraining order!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Another restraining order?! I'm amassing quite the collection...

david santos said...

Thanks for your work and have a good week

Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - You are. You'll be hitting triple figures soon!

David Santos - Erm, you're welcome, and, um, thanks!

MJ said...

With the Inexplicable one as my witness, I am stealing this concept to use one day on my blog.

Well done.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ah, then I can let my rudeness know no bounds!

Mwah hah hah hah ha!!

Tim said...

MJ - Go for it!

Inexplicable Device - Another smut-fest looming?