Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Someone's made a sticky mess…

…And it's called Spider-Man 3.

OK, Let's be truthful: I did actually quite enjoy the latest Spidey flick. On the downside though, it's not exactly Spidey 2, and certainly not Superman Returns.

I won't get all spoiler-rific, but here are the bits that I thought made Spider-Man 3 a bit of a mess:

• It's too loooooooong.
• Sandman's a bit dull compared to the Green Goblin and Doc Ock.
• Faaaaar toooooo much Mary Jane. I can't stand the sight of Kirsten Dunst and her weird teeth at the best of times, and I seriously thought at one point that this was the Mary Jane movie and not a Spider-Man movie.
• Ugh, she sings too. Twice. Shut her up. And it doesn't even work - it's like she's lip-syncing to Louis Armstrong.
• Eeeeeeeeek… Good grief - what's that noise? Oh, its just the writer's shoe-horning Venom into the plot. But…
• …Not enough Venom. Sandman = dull. Venom = Ooo! And which of the two is neglected? Yep… Don't tingle my spidey sense and not follow through on the promise ya teases, OK?
• Ohmygod Spider-Man goes emo! He has the emo fringe, dark eyeliner, and he even does the emo hair flick.
• What is it with Spider-Man ALWAYS getting half his mask ripped off during a fight? Maybe Toby maguire has a clause in his contract - 'It's not enough that I spend half the movie as Peter Parker; I demand that my nerdy, awkward-looking face be visible AT LEAST 75% of the time I am in Spider-Man costume.'
• Some really bad dialogue and overly cheesy moments. I mean: OVERLY. CHEESY.
• And while I'm at it, erm, butler dude - couldn't you have talked to Harry about his Dad's 'incident' before he tried to kill his best pal?
• Gwen Stacy - um, what was the point?

It wasn't all negatives, though - there were some nice bits. I just can't really remember them… But no, wait, I did enjoy it. I just expected more from the first real popcorn flick of the summer, particularly based on the previous two films.


Ooo, talking of popcorn flicks, isn't it a bit of a weird term? I can't think of any situation where a film-goer might say "this film is far too highbrow for corn - popped or otherwise. It is far more deserving of a bag of minstrels - or at the very least a small tub of Haagan Daas."

And why did the basmati rice I just eat smell of popcorn?

Mysteries of out time, people, mysteries of our time!


missy&chrissy said...

eek, kirsten dunst overload?? i most definitely won't be seeing spidey 3 then!

and i liked the 'popcorn flick' analysis. i think from now on i'll rate/refer to the quality of films on an all-corn scale...

Tara said...

Awww no, I'm going to go see the movie on Friday and sadly there's nothing else exciting to watch at the movies. I heard that Venom didn't have enough of a role. He looks sufficiently scary which is great.

I'll always like the first movie, when he was just discovering his powers. I'd love to wake up with perfect vision without laser surgery.

Tim said...

Missy&Chrissy - Yep, a total Dunst-overload!! If you liked the previous two I'd recommend you see this one - it does complete the trilogy quite well… I just thought it needed a bit of editing!

Tara - Don't worry - it is enjoyable! It's just that they over-egged the pudding slightly, if you know what I mean. And for what is reportedly the most expensive movie EVAH, I can't really see where all the money went…

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Yuk! An over-egged pudding. I hate eggs.

However, I probably will go see the sticky mess, but only because I have a cheapo ticket...

Dinah said...

I probably will not be seeing the movie, I haven't seen the second one and am not a big Dunst fan.

Determined to drop NYC into every conversation, on the bus tours we went on they told us all of the location sites for the filming of the movies, like it was the only movie ever filmed in New York. (And no, it wasn't a special spiderman tour). So I'm on a bit of spidey overload.

Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - Oh, yeah - go see it! It might be a sticky mess, but it's an enjoyable sticky mess nevertheless. Especially if you've got a cheapo ticket!

Dinah - YOU'RE BACK! Wait for it to come on DVD or something then have a Spidey marathon - or not, if you really don't care!

Dropping NYC into every conversation? I should hope so! I looked at your pics this morning and it all looked awesome!

skillz said...

Wow... it sounds kinda crap. What is it about the 'third film' or 'third album' usually being shit?

I really wasn't a fan of Green Goblin, but Doc Oc kicked booty! Maybe in the 4th film they can shoehorn other characters... "Spiderman and Superted vs Boycie and Col. Nathan R. Jessep"

Tim said...

No, no, no, no, noooooooo… Well, yeah, sorta… It's definitely not as good as Spidey 2, but it's worth catching… defo if you've got a cheapo ticket or an Orange Wednesday!

Now a Superted movie… Ooo, now yer talkin'!