Sunday, December 16, 2007


Despite the fact that I have a sticker on my letterbox that says 'no junk mail,' I continue to receive loads of junk mail every week. Usually it's just supermarket flyers and takeaway menus, but this week I got something altogether different.

An invite from the local church to attend their nativity play. 

Now look, I'm not in the slightest bit religious - in fact, I pretty much go the other way - but I was immediately intrigued by this invite. Well, I was immediately intrigued once I'd gotten past the overly religious diatribe about the true meaning of Christmas (it distracted me from writing the list of stuff I want this year), and how much god loves me (um, yeah, I'd believe that more if he'd actually bought me the Cat's Lair I really wanted back in the mid-80s). It was at that point that I looked at the actual invite itself. And do you know what? I'm sorely tempted to go just to see the special guest star.

Yes, that's right - the special guest star is Pepé the donkey. And some sheep. 

I don't know how many sheep there will be, exactly, or whether Pepé's role is a starring one or something more akin to a cameo, but what I do know is that I have seen Clerks II, so I'm fully aware what a donkey show is. 

What's really made me want to go, though, is that the flyer encourages us to "wear warm clothes and carry a lantern or torch."

Count me in!


Another stupid thing that was sent to me this week came in the form of a text message from Orange:

"Hi from Orange. We've reviewed your phone usage and the great news is that you are already on the best plan, so there's nothing for you to do."

Um, OK; I wasn't planning on doing anything anyway. I was, however, sorely tempted to send them a message back revealing my imminent plans to buy an iPhone (exclusively on 02, folks!), but decided I really couldn't be arsed.


Tara said...

"wear warm clothes and carry a lantern or torch." Sounds like you might be helping them re-enact the whole nativity seen. At least they didn't ask you to bring along gold, frankincenses and mire or whatever.

I vaguely remember going to a Christmas play that involved real life livestock. I think it was in Texas.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

But those little Lanterns wriggle so much - They're difficult to hold. Not to mention the fact that green is a very difficult colour to match with an outfit.

I suppose it'd be better than to carry a Torch - We don't want you getting burned alive.

Tim said...

Tara - That's right, it does, doesn't it? Bunch of cheapskates!

Inexplicable Device - I've got green eyes, so coordination is no problem. I think I also prefer the idea of dressing up as Green Lantern, rather than pouring petrol over myself, striking a match, and shouting "I'M THE HUMAN TORCAAAAAAGRHHH!!"

That would be bad times.

Dinah said...

I was a guide in the "Journey to Bethlehem" live nativity one year. I had to walk people through the parts, pointing things out and answering questions. I had a scripted patter. It was very much like working at an amusement park or something.

missy&chrissy said...

we're not ones for religion either, but that seriously sounds like the coolest church production ever...take photos of pepe if you go!

Tim said...

Dinah - Was it like "please keep your hands in the bus, and on your left you'll see the baby Jeebus…"? I hope so, because that would've been awesomely hilarious.

Missy&Chrissy - No joke, I've actually got plans that night, but if I didn't I think I'd be seriously popping along for good times with Pepé!