Tuesday, July 27, 2010

30 days of yoga: Day 17 - flirtrageous

Going into this 30 day challenge I expected a number of things to happen. These included differences in my body shape and muscle definition, lots of clothes needing to be washed, and getting very sweaty.

What I did not expect was for the yoga to make me more attractive to women.


OK, I might be exaggerating a bit, but no word of a lie after class this evening I popped into Sainsburys to pick up some food and something to quench my thirst (or rehydrate if I'm being scientific), and after paying I decide to stand in the foyer while I sexily knock back my Lucozade isotonic drink. While I'm standing there, patches of sweat beginning to show through on my t-shirt and inner thighs (nothing turns ladies on more than moist trousers) I get the impression I'm being watched.

Turns out I'm right.

A lovely young lady is looking at me a bit funny (funny as in like she's trying to make sure I am who she thinks I am, rather than funny with clown makeup and eyes that boing-boing out on springs). And then she says:

"Did I hear you say in the studio that you've done 18 straight days of yoga?"

"Oh, it's 17," I reply, shrugging my shoulders as if it's no biggie.

"Wow, that's amazing - I can barely manage two." She says this while turning her face down a little and tossing her hair back, actions that TV shows and movies have taught me are universal signs of instant attraction. I then proceed to impart some of my newfound yoga wisdom on her, scattered throughout with pseudo-macho phrases such as "it's nothing really" and "you just get into a natural rhythm" (hubba-hubba).

Anyway, so we chat for a couple more seconds and then she heads off to do some shopping of her own, but not before turning to me one last time to say "let me know how you get on, won't you?"

If this was an eighties movie that moment totally would've been in slow-mo with fans whipping her hair around her while she blew me a kiss.


CyberPete said...

Had it been the 80s there would have been shoulder pads galore and possibly a Topsy Tail (Trademark) involved. Or she'd been sucking on a strawberry Push Pop.

Anyway, you work your Tim magic on her and Yoga Hussy possibly in the diet coke sort of way.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Who is this outrageous harlot (no, I'm not talking about you, Tim. although...)?

* flicks through spell book for one that creates hair-loss *

Tara said...

Oo, exciting! And as the title says, "flirtrageous"!

Tim said...

Cyberpete - What? Abseil down her building and wash her windows?

Inexplicable Device - Don't be so jealous, it's unbecoming!

Tara - I'll probably never see her again.