Running club

The first rule of running club is that we don't talk about running club.

Actually that's a lie, because if we didn't talk about running club no one would go to running club, and if no one went to running club running club would probably go into receivership, and no one wants that, especially the runners. So we do, in fact, talk about running club. It just makes it sound more sexy and dramatic if we say we don't.

So, two years after my first aborted attempt to go to running club, and after intense pressure from Sweatband (and some sweet-talking by the club ladies immediately after the Dysart Dash a few weeks back) I finally went to running club - on my own, I hasten to add, because Sweatband was off working somewhere. Typical. Slacker.

Anyway, I'd actually gotten myself into the frame of mind to go, and would've gone last week if it hadn't have been for a little thing called, um, Panic at the Disco. Tonight being the night, though, I strolled along, eager to see what we'd be doing. Sweatband had told me that sometimes they do a nice run, other times they do some gentle training. It all sounded very pleasant.

"Ah, a good first night to come along," said one of the guys I'd got talking to after the Dysart Dash. "We're doing a five-mile run around Richmond Park tonight."

F**k.

I was quietly cursing Sweatband by the time I'd been signed in as a guest, and had been given a number to pin to my top. Then I was asked what my best 10k time was so that they could work out a handicap for me; the run was being done on a staggered start basis so the faster people go last, and everyone generally finishes reasonably close together. Despite my continued cursing of Sweatband, I was quite pleased to see that I was given a handicap of 17 minutes and 30 seconds, which is pretty good - although I wasn't eligible for the first place cup because I'm not a club member. Oh well, not like I was going to be troubling that, anyway…

A couple of minutes later I was walking into Richmond Park along with a group of nice people to which I'd firmly attached myself because they seemed to know what was going on. About 1o minutes after that I watched the first runner head off into the depths of the park, and a short while after that - well, 17 minutes and 30 seconds to be precise - I lined up along with two other dudes before being sent on my merry way.

Now, what was a tad disconcerting was that there were no real markers to direct us where the route went exactly, except for some red plastic tape tied to the occasional tree (which could've been covert markers left by filthy doggers for all I knew), and several small mounds of sawdust on the ground (which I initially mistook for desiccated deer poo). That being the case, I relied more on the runners ahead of me, of which there were a fair few; obviously one of the chaps who'd stood alongside me at the start line had the same thought, and lagged behind me a bit so as to a) know where to go by following me, and b) to pace off me, which as anyone who's seen my crazy Nike+ graphs will attest to is a ludicrous idea at the best of times*.

Anyway, it all went swimmingly for the most part, except just past what I can only assume was the halfway point where the people in front of me evidently took a bit of a wrong turn and about six of us added what must've amounted to another 500 metres in distance and a couple of minutes to our time.

For anyone who's never been to Richmond Park, let me tell you this: it's a really rather wonderful place, teeming with wildlife and wonderful plants (many of which I probably stood on), and with amazing views over the whole of central London (a REAL city, I might add). There was one bit where I came running out of a wooded area into an open field, and the sun was shining brightly right in front of me. OK, it was a bit off-putting to have the sun shining right in my face, but it was a rather stunning sight. Unfortunately, Richmond Park is also rather hilly, and we were made to run up several of them. There were several times where I rounded a corner and thought the finish line would be in sight, but no, it was just another frickin' hill.

Eventually, though, after an epic 45 minutes and 29 seconds, I did reach the finish line, and it felt pretty awesome. Must of us hung around until pretty much everyone had finished before saying "sod it" and heading back to the club house to leave any stragglers to finish up in the last rays of sunlight on their own, and from there I headed home.

All in all, then, although my first time at running club was a bit of a trial by fire, it was well worth it, and I think I'll undoubtedly make the effort to go again. Who knows - maybe I'll even become a member? But just remember the first rule of running club: run like buggery because there's always someone faster behind you.

*Although seeing as the widget is broken no one's seen my graphs recently, have they…?